Solace
. . .
Stop
The word is a shard of ice in her heart but she obeys; her forward motion halting as her liquid blue eyes find Kaguers. She finds pain there but not surprise, and Solace knows that she has not been the only one this idea has haunted.
'I would never do that to you, Solace.'
But the gold splashed mare can only shake her head in the face of her mate's passionate denial. The depth of Solace's love for her mate was beyond anything she had dreamed of in her adolescence, when any hansom stranger could catch her off her guard. With each day, strength of their bond grew stronger - dwarfing what it had been when first amazed her. But she knew Kagerus, and she feared what she would become if... when.
Solace tries to be brave - for the sake of her wife mostly, but a little for her own pride - ignoring the acidic taste on the back of her tongue and the single tear which slides over her cheekbone. But Kagerus moves to hold her, and her pride seems foolish as she is enveloped by the warmth of this warrior woman who loves her fiercely.
Savor this.
Solace listens with hooded eyes as Kagerus speaks, allowing herself to slip into the fantasy she weaves for them. Ignorance is bliss - even if it is willful ignorance which she can only maintain for a moment. The words meant to reassure her do little to sooth the deep ache in her heart. Never once has she questioned the depth of Kagerus' love, she knows that there is no dishonesty in her - only naivety.
"I can't live without you Solace."
The truth of those words are a hammer to her fragile heart, and finally, she shatters. Safe for now in the stronghold that is her lover, Solace submits to the feelings which she has been holding back for so long. Dragged ragged behind their momentum she lays raw, exposed as she has rarely been.
"And - I won't." Kagerus re-affirms, twisting the dagger one more time. She seems to ignore the fact that, for all the power they held between them, this was out of their reach.
And Solace clings to her tormentor.
"You're stronger than that," she says when she can breathe again. "And you won't be betraying me." She repeats with more force as her wife pulls away. Their eyes meet, and Solace hods her dark gaze with something close to defiance. Disheveled and battle-worn, her features are a disorganized version of her usual appearance and her poise has been replaced by determination.
But she softens quickly, reaching again for the contact that helps remind her that the day they speak of is a lifetime away. Her pale lips part again as a soft breath escapes her, and her words are a gentle sigh.
"You don't have that power, and you... need someone. I don't want to think of you alone." she says into her queen's dark, salty skin. There is no anger left in her voice as she states the truth, as she realizes she doesn't have to be stubborn - time will make her case for her.
"I need you to know that I don't want you to be alone. So just agree, and then we never have to have this conversation again."
@[Kagerus]