[mature] the everlasting ghost of what once was - kagerus - private

[Kagerus]

Kagerus

{ and in my dreams I've kissed your lips a thousand times }

There'd been too many stops along the way.
Or maybe I'd questioned my sanity one too many times.
I should have made the journey alone, without Panthera.

I've been blessed time and time again, and even this time, a blessing - but one that came with a warning. You ask too much and give too little. You are selfish and proud, you think yourself a magician and though we allow it, we grow tired of it quickly when you do it for self benefit. I can only imagine that that was their reasoning. I can only imagine that they had one at all.

But for her? Anything. Even this.
Especially this.

It takes every morsel of self control I have not to run to my children as if they are air and I am fifty feet below water. Their scents carry from every corner of my kingdom as I step across its bounds and into her belly, silent in the night. Abysm, Velk, Valdis, Warlight, Rhaegor, Sviko - my relative herd of children are all somewhere in the folds of Hyaline tonight, be they sleeping or sneaking or sharing stories late into the night. My heart slams against its ribbed cage in protest as I force myself to walk quietly through the long grasses and towards a secluded meadow, west of the western most peak... On the other side of the mountain from my family's grotto.

I feel like I'm going to be sick from missing them so. But the pain is great, and the blood is still fresh (though it clots now in places), and what I fear most are their reactions. I'll be able to handle it in the morning, I'll be composed in the morning - but for now, I stow away beneath the fronds of a birch-willow, shoulder heavy against it's mottled bark. Salt and iron mingle as tears escape my eyes and run down my face; but they are not tears of any single emotion. Rather, I am overwhelmed with emotions - so much so that, before I can even begin to number them, I am falling asleep.

--

When I awaken on the other side, I start. The Abyss surrounds me, echoing silently, the reverberations felt but not seen; I'd not expected or intended on Dreaming tonight. My tongue feels dry, but I can't seem to swallow; so I close my eyes instead, and try to fall back into the black nothingness of true rest.

--

Solace.

The world around her is hazy, unclear due to the distance: but she knows. She knows that she dwells now in the slumbering subconscious of her wife, and vice versa; they've been here so often before that it makes sense that they'd be tethered, even now. Storm clouds roll over head but don't let fall a single drop of rain. She can't see her angel, but she doesn't want to - in the surprise of awakening next to her wife's mind, she wraps herself in cloaks.

She doesn't want her to see.

She doesn't want her to see.

She doesn't want her to see...

From ear to opposite nose, a gash runs deeply. Blood covers her face, making the white of her overo nearly unrecognizable. It's clearly fresh, clearly inflicted by one of greater power, clearly something of consequence.

Luckily, she doesn't want to be seen, and so she isn't. So they sit there, storm clouds rolling overhead; in silence.

@[Solace] new html who dis