I’m gonna stand here in the ache; vulgaris

[leliana]

There is something beautiful that blossoms between them, but something dangerous. She recognizes it for the viper it is, recognizes the knife to her throat—the blade she holds so willingly. She invites it into her chest, pulling the poisoned air into her lungs and letting it simmer. There is part of her that tells herself that this time it will be different. This time, it will last—he will not tire of her. He will not find another to warm his bed—worse, to warm his heart. She tells herself that he will be true. That his love was rooted.

But there is another part of her.

A part that has been shattered and pieced back together but never made whole. A piece that was made all the worse for her recent interaction with Dovev. A piece that warns her of the gun to her temple, of the way that he will bleed her out and the way that she will let him. It’s enough to cause her to tremble. It is enough to cause her heart to constrict in her chest, all of her worst fears spreading like poison.

Still, she keeps it at bay—reminds herself to be grateful for what he does give, what he can give.

She just presses her forehead into the battered angles of his neck and breathes him in, tries to press the memory of him within her so that she can remember what it was like to be loved by him when he leaves.

“I’ve had my fair share of violence,” she whispers, her voice steady despite the agony curling within her. Then she is shaking her head, frustration causing tears to form in the corners of her eyes. She was so tired of others interpreting what she wanted. She was so tired of being denied because of what others assumed she needed. “I don’t need beautiful,” her plea is soft and laced with anguish. “I don’t need what you think I deserve.” She presses into him, her mouth shy as it reaches for his jaw, as it lingers, as it begins to trace down his face and down his neck, hungry and soft, tasting the angles of him, hungering for more.

“I just want you, Vulgaris. I want all of you.”

A pause, guilt simmering at the demand, as she softens it.

“I want everything you're willing to give.”

it started with a perfect kiss, then we could feel the poison set in

@[vulgaris]