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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [mature]  show them the joy and the pain and the ending; Dovev
    #1

    In the full light of day, with the world beckoning, distracting, it’s so much easier to forget. Much easier to disappear behind a pretense of strength and imperturbability. But in the darkest hours of the night, when the moon hangs low and the world is hushed in sleep, haunting thoughts -  memories - creep into her consciousness. The grief and emotion she had so easily repressed during the day claws at the carefully guarded cage she had crafted around it, screaming to, finally, be let loose.

    A soft sigh escaping into the still night air, she glances up at the star-studded sky. The grief and anger still coil in her gut, a constant reminder that she had failed her son. That she still couldn’t bear to watch his last days.

    But she is wasting time. And now, for what feels like the first time in ages, she is alone. With sudden determination, she let’s her sight drift. Let’s it seek and search until she finds what she needs. The sight memories of her son. Jaw clenched tight, she allows them to play. To bombard her senses.

    For a moment, she thinks she can handle it. That it is like anything else has witnessed, all the other things she’d been privy to in her jaded life. Only for a moment. Until the scab is picked raw and the wound gapes as a bubble bursts inside her chest. With a sudden, heaving gasp, she turns and bolts.

    The tears she had repressed so long leak unbidden from her eyes as she stumbles into the nearest cave she can find. A shallow impression in the rock the she presses herself desperately into. As the grief she had so ruthlessly suppressed crashes over her, she stumbles to a halt, mottled sides heaving with the force of her sobs.

    She would never have the opportunity to tell him how much she had loved him. Never even had the chance to see his beautiful face one more time before his life had so ruthlessly been torn away. And she has only herself to blame. Only her and her foolish irascibility.

    Her knees tremble violently before they give out beneath her. She wilts beneath the weight of her own guilt and sorrow, a keening cry escaping her lips before she presses her face against the unforgiving rock wall of the shallow cave. She doesn’t even notice the way the rock digs into her ribs as she curls heavily against it, the way it’s sharp angles scrape the pale lines of her face.

    In her grief, she notices nothing beyond her emotions (emotions she had so long held prisoner) spilling free.

    i see your sins
    and i want to set them free



    @[Dovev] :|
    #2
    dovev

    He kept telling himself he didn't know why he stayed. Why he was here. Why he didn't leave. Maybe it was because he had nothing else. Maybe it was because of what was here. But probably because he had nothing else.

    He had nothing here.

    There was something different with her tonight, though. She hadn't even noticed him watching her for this long, from this distance. She was normally better atuned to when he was looking at her. Or seemed to be, based on how quickly she would turn and stare right back with that deadly dare in her narrowed eyes. More like a don't you dare think about it but that kinda counted too, he figured.

    He frowned, leaning against a wall of cliff on one of the higher levels, watching her and idly chewing on a strand of who-knows-what. He was fuckin' bored, hadn't he mentioned that a time or two?

    She damn well bolted. Slipped so swiftly into one of those shallow caves, and he straighted with a deeper frown. He searched the direction she'd come from, but he'd been staring right at her for how long now? And he confirmed that nothing was chasing her, hunting her down like he was a little afraid something might some day. Maybe that was why he was still here...

    Nah.

    He followed at a casual pace, keeping silent. By the time he got down to ground level and stood at the doorway of her little nook it had begun raining, the sky dark with storm. For a long moment he only stood there, looking down at her with streams of water slipping down over his body, washing the blood off. It pattered softly on his armor, and the thunder was still yet a good ways off and gentle.

    Lightning flashed and lit behind him, shined brightly over her for just long enough that he was able to get a clear view cemented into his memory. Of this image he never wanted to see again.

    Then he stepped forward, lowered himself at her side without a word. He shifted to get comfortable, reached over her to tug her in against him whether she liked it or not. With a firm nudge, he tipped her face towards him to examine her, silently cursing that she'd managed to hurt herself even that little bit. A scrape across her cheek from the sharp rock wall. He'd probably get the blame for it tomorrow.

    It didn't stop him from cleaning it with a careful tongue anyway.
    She was sort of a hopeless girl in ways she'd never admit and he'd never tell.

    She wouldn't feel like talking, he was pretty sure. And this was going to be one of those times where they pretended it never happened. They'd done that before on their crazy adventure, did she remember. So he held her in silence, because silence is easier to pretend it hadn't happened. No memories of a conversation. He listened to the rainfall, drowning out the rest of the world for a time, for a night. He counted the seconds between the lightning and the following thunder.

    He held her against a steady heart beat.
    One she already knew.

    But they'd never tell.

    we're slaves to any semblance of touch

    Lord, we should quit but we love it too much


    #3

    Thunder rumbles outside, the skies darkening, the heaven’s opening to pour rain down. A torrent that matches the storm of emotion she had finally released in the safety and darkness of night. No one watches on these darkest of nights.

    No one except him.

    She should have known, but her thoughts had been too tangled, her heart to heavy to reach for someone else who could too easily tear it apart. But he’s there, and even though she refuses to look at him, she knows he has found her. “Go away,” she gasps into the stone, her voice rough and strained. Uncertain.

    But he doesn’t, and for once she is almost grateful he doesn’t listen. He is the last one she had wanted to witness her grief, but he is the only one who might know how to offer comfort. It is a war in her heart, that fear and longing. But as he pulls her against him, unheeding of her resistance, longing wins.

    She presses against him as hard as she had pressed against that wall, her body shuddering with that grief, too long restrained. Perhaps in the morning, they would pretend this never happened. Perhaps in the morning, she would scold herself for her weakness. But now, tonight, it’s been too long since anyone has held her. Too long since she has been offered the warmth of a comforting touch. He has always wanted her body, her pleasure. But now, for perhaps the first time in their long acquaintance, she thinks perhaps he could actually care about her heart and soul.

    And so she lets her tears soak his skin, baptizing him in emotion she has never before shared with any other. It’s irony at its finest, that he should know her more intimately than any other living being despite never having shared her body. And that, perhaps, is more terrifying than anything else.

    But she won’t (she can’t) think of that now. Instead she presses close, uncaring that his armor digs into her skin. It is a distraction from her emotional pain. She doesn’t know how long they remain like that. Long enough for the rain to slow to a trickle. Long enough for her mind to rally and her heart to settle. With a shaky breath, she presses her face face into the dark skin of Dovev’s neck. She can’t look at him, not now. “Why have you stayed Dovev?” The question comes out on a hoarse whisper, but there is far more feeling in that question than she has expressed in ages. Perhaps in her entire life.

    The minute the question leaves her mouth however, she regrets asking. She isn’t sure she actually wishes to know the answer. In fact, she isn’t sure she wishes to know anything. She only wants to forget. Forget her pain, forget her questions, forget her uncertainty. For once in her life, she wants to shut her mind off and pretend she can be everything he wants her to be.

    She isn’t made for this. She has never been good at being a lover. She can’t even pretend at the experience he has had. But she can show him her sincerity. Closing her eyes, she presses her lips against his neck. A soft, silent plea she isn’t entirely certain how to say aloud.

    i see your sins
    and i want to set them free

    #4
    dovev

    She probably didn't mean to be so welcoming of him, and they were likely both surprised when she gave in and pressed herself so firmly against him, his armor protruding out and digging into her.

    For the first time in an extremely long time he regretted the weapon his body had contorted into, regretted that it couldn't possibly be comfortable to be held by him. It had him loosening his hold on her a little, but not too much, with a quiet wave of shame for what he'd become. But that was the nature of the Mountain's magic in him, and it couldn't be helped. And he wouldn't regret that.

    But maybe she would've said yes to him a long time ago had he been smooth and thick with muscle.

    He didn't really waste the time in thinking on it, instead remaining quiet as she poured her heart out in tears and shudders. Those made him squeeze her tighter, brush his lips over her spine in comfort as he watched the rain outside. For the most part he didn't really react, though, trying to give her as much privacy in this intimate moment as he could. He'd already realized it was not his fault she was pushed to this, or he'd be dead by now. Small miracles.

    It was a good while until her breathing slowed, not that he was listening, and the shudders stopped. With a few more minutes, she seemed better collected, but understandably exhausted. Her face pressed to his cold, clammy neck and felt warm to the touch, hot from crying. It felt good, though. And unexpected.

    "Why have you stayed Dovev?"

    A really stupid answer almost slipped out. He swallowed it down quickly, helpfully distracted by her lips on his skin. His lips parted with a soft exhale and his eyes closed, feeling it sink into his skin so differently than her teeth had, which was the only way he ever got those damn lips on him until just now. It gave him pause, opening his eyes and turning his head slowly to her, looking deep into her blue eyes.

    "Heartfire?" he questioned cautiously, uncertain. Was this a test? She'd said no so many times, had pushed him away so many times. Was it because she was hurting? Vulnerable now. So easily taken. Did she even know what she was asking, or only reacting to the pain inside her? Or no, maybe he was making wild assumptions. So he fell quiet and studied her.

    There was a part of him that thought she might want this for real though, however stupid he was for thinking it. Just one of those nagging thoughts that he could never seem to find the evidence for and grasp onto it, really see it for himself.

    Maybe the light kiss had only been for her own comfort. Or an offer of thanks, only. She wouldn't forget the dangerous man he was. His sharp armor plates were not his only rough edges.

    we're slaves to any semblance of touch

    Lord, we should quit but we love it too much


    #5

    She doesn’t have the words to say what she needs. Doesn’t have the words to tell him what he has wanted to hear for so long. The wild storm of emotion had released far more than just her grief. Everything she’d buried deep for so long had spilled forth, reminding her they are not meant to be caged. Reminding her of everything she has tried so hard to forget.

    She could never be like him, giving himself so easily to every feeling that tumbled through his heart. Fear has always been her greatest weakness. It might surprise him to learn that. To know just how much of herself she kept from him (from everyone) because of fear. And if she could help it, he would never know. Spies do not have to be brave, and it had been so easy to hide behind. A nearly impenetrable armor.

    But now, bared as she is, she finds it difficult to pick up the pieces of that shattered armor and build it anew.

    And all of sudden, everything that she had so safely tucked away, everything that he had stirred in her (everything she had sworn he would never learn of) clamors to be heard. The pain of her failures battle with her longing for something new, something to replace the terrible memories she had long suppressed. They tangle in her throat until she can’t find an answer to the question in his voice.

    Instead, she does her best to give him the answer in her touch. There is a vulnerability in the press of her lips on his skin, an uncertainty in the hesitant movement. In the way she moves her lips gently along his neck until she reaches the hollow where the sharp, beautiful line of his jaw begins.

    “Dovev,” she finally whispers, breath warm against his skin as she presses closer, uncaring of the way his unforgiving edges press into her. That single word is equal amounts of plea and demand, an invitation she can only hope he won’t misunderstand.

    i see your sins
    and i want to set them free

    #6
    dovev

    She stole his breath, her lips trailing so gently up his neck. Her touch was almost hesitant, and she should be. She should be afraid of what she'll unleash. She knew him better than this.

    His heart raced and he held still for her, savoring every slightest touch of her lips on his skin. She knew better, she had to know better. She'd always turned him down. Why now would she choose to let him in? Because her walls were down. Because she didn't know better.

    "Dovev."
    A plea. A demand.

    It was both that he answered to. Like a gun firing, he went from still to sudden movement. Before her next breath, he had her shoved roughly to the ground and pinned firmly beneath him. He had always assumed by her endless confidence in everything that she did that she'd had more experience, that she'd done this plenty of times with a few someones more attractive than he ever could be again. But he knew. He knew that she didn't know what she'd been missing out on with all those damn refusals.

    She'd learn it now.

    "Dagger," he growled, his voice gruff with desire, pressing his weight on her, burying his lips at her throat with ravenous kisses. So goddamn long she'd let this build up inside him. So damn long he hadn't spent it on anyone else. Pent up and aching. She'd have to pay for her mistakes now. He told her so with his body, another growling kiss on her neck as he pushed against her, hard and ready, digging into the soft of her belly, fully prepared to give her the best punishment she'd been earning for so long now.

    Maybe had he known of her inexperience he'd have gone sweeter on her. Maybe.
    But not entirely likely. His gentleness was for the strongest, only seen by anyone that survived him. The worthy. They had to walk through the fires of his hell before they could be cleansed in his rain. His life brought nothing but pain and danger, and he'd need to be sure he had a partner that could bear it, stand strong. Want all of his bad - there was so much of it - along with his little bit of good. Even when it's just sex.

    Maybe Heartfire could.

    He put more than just his weight on her, bearing down on her completely as he pulled back enough to stare down in her face, caging her in against the earth and hoping it hurt her. He wanted the fight, wanted to feel her squirm beneath him, wanted to see at least a hint of fear in her gorgeous blue eyes as she struggled against him. God, he craved it. Needed it so badly. Nothing came easy with him. Fight me!

    He'd never been big on warnings, and she waived her last chance to back out now. He was on and there was no off switch. He wouldn't stop until he had her.

    we're slaves to any semblance of touch

    Lord, we should quit but we love it too much


    #7

    For everything she has seen and all her knowledge, she could never have prepared herself for what she would unleash in Dovev. She knows his intensity, and fear had long kept her from delving too deep. But now... now there is no room for it. He had somehow found his way in and there is no turning back. Even if she wanted to.

    She gasps when he pushes against her, shoving her to the ground, growling as his lips find the sensitive skin of her throat. Heat flashes through her, burning away the uncertainty. For a moment (just the barest of moments, when his body first crashes into her), there is fear. Realization that she had perhaps bit off more than she could chew. That perhaps, in this one thing, inexperience could be her downfall. Because despite her lack of experience, she knows instinctively all the pleasure she might have felt before would pale in the face of such fiery passion.

    Dagger. His voice vibrates across her skin, spreading that heat like a wildfire. She had always told him to stop calling her that, but in the moment, it feels incredibly right. Her eyes snap open, the blue no longer icy but burning, the heart of a scalding flame. Everywhere he touches her skin, the softness of his lips, the bite of his armor, begins another flashpoint where it presses until her skin feels hot and tight, as though she might burst. Until her breath is short, gasping.

    And she wants more, wants all of it. But not like this. She could never remain so pliant beneath his touch, only receiving and never giving. He should know this is not how he would have her. They would be equals, nothing less, nothing more.

    “Dovev,” she rasps, her voice sharp, demanding now. She shoves against him, a command to release her. She hasn’t the strength to stand against him physically, and he must know that. But there is no fear in that recognition. Instead, it thrills through her, an odd tingle that bursts along her nerve-endings.

    He would have her, of that she has no doubt. But that does not mean she wouldn’t try to make the terms her own.

    With a low growl of her own, her bright eyes flash as she pushes at him again. Her lips seek out any flesh she can find, teeth scraping to remind him of her own power. Lips soothing any sting to remind him of the plea.

    i see your sins
    and i want to set them free

    #8
    dovev

    Goddamn, he loved that gasp, that so-brief flash of fear, uncertainty, as he shoved her down and pinned her. They were off to a damn good start. Made even better as her breath shortened, almost panting.

    God, and she would be soon. He'd make sure of it.

    She wiggled under him, fighting back a little, and he groaned a kiss into her skin, weighing himself down heavier on her. He could feel everything, her pushing and shifting rubbing every curve and fine-toned muscle against him, and fuck, it felt good. Made him harder, made him ache. Did she have any idea how wild it made him when she went from that initial, perfect shock, to fighting back like she had any say in it? She didn’t have any say though. And he craved that fight. It was what he was used to, how it all began for him.

    ”Dovev,” she barked at him, her voice husky and throaty. She was so fuckin sexy, and she knew it, all that damn confidence. The fire in her eyes. He’d never want to tame that out of her, take all the fun away from dominating her.

    She’d started something now. She’d let his darkness loose.

    He fuckin loved the way she said his name, even though the demand behind it was useless. He smiled, gave a breathy bite to her neck beside her jaw as she was reaching to do the same. He almost laughed, his smile deepening as her teeth scraped against his skin with a sharp sting, a burning. She could bite harder, fight harder, fight all she wanted. But he was the Master of this bedroom. Her pain, her pleasure, was his to command.

    “Heartfire,” he said back sweetly. A taunt. Mocking her.

    He backed off her, leaving her suddenly cold as his warmth followed him. His eyes were smoldering black, darker than they’ve ever been as he watched her hungrily, every muscle in his body ready to take her. It had been too damn long. That was her doing. Partly his. He could’ve had anyone. But he hadn’t. So it was her doing.

    “Stand.”
    A growled command. A challenge.

    He wanted to watch her. She wouldn’t cower there, never her. He wanted to watch her stand for him, bare herself to him in a last act of vulnerability before he rewarded her for it. Punished her for it. He wanted to see if she dared to run, forced him to take her down and claim her roughly as she fought him the whole way. He wanted to watch her stand defiant with those damn eyes of hers, turn her sexy ass to him only because she wants it and not because he does.

    He just wanted to watch her.
    Watch her change her mind and beg for it again.

    we're slaves to any semblance of touch

    Lord, we should quit but we love it too much


    #9

    Every touch is almost too much. She had been stripped bare already, and now she comes before him as nothing but herself. That vulnerability is almost enough to bring those walls back up. But the press of his weight against her, the sting of his teeth on her skin, the heat of his kisses reminds her of everything she would be missing. Of everything she would have to give up. And in that moment, she wants nothing more than to lose herself in him, no matter the consequences.

    And Dovev, oh, he understands her contrary nature too well.

    She pushes against him and he pushes back. His weight pressing against her, the quelling nip, all of it brings another gasp to her lips, a wave of heat that tingles along her skin, and a surge of renewed determination. Her eyes glow fiercely, promising repayment in kind. Promising retribution of the most delicious sort.

    The moment he eases his weight from her, she shoots upright. Her eyes fix on him, bright and fierce. Hungry. For a moment, she is tempted to follow him, to torment him in the same way he had tormented her. So much so that, for just a moment, she presses against him, lips and teeth finding skin. Until he is demanding she stand.

    Abruptly she withdraws, gaze fierce as her chin notches stubbornly. She considers disregarding the command, but the dark hunger in his eyes convinces her otherwise. A hunger that matches the raw need in her own.

    Slowly, she rises, her gaze fixed on him without a hint of modesty, tail snapping once, sharply, against her hocks. When she is on her feet, she stares at him in challenge, shifting until the round slope of her rear is pressed against the rough wall of the cave. The corners of her lips quirk up, an insolent smirk that says try me.

    He might wish her to stand, but he is fooling himself if he thought it would be anything but on her terms. No matter how much that sharp note of command sent heat curling through her belly.

    i see your sins
    and i want to set them free

    #10
    dovev

    He smiled at that fight in her eyes, the way she shoved against him. It wasn't all her strength, he could tell. Which only made it better. She'd fight him, but deep down she wanted this too. Just as much as he did.

    He stood and watched her. And waited. Delighted by her stubborn chin lifting at his command. Which way would she take this with them? Everything with her was always so unpredictable, edge-of-your-seat startling. He fuckin loved that. And hated it. And he loved that he loved and hated it. She made him such a damn mess. She was such a damn mess.

    The burning desire in his eyes flared brighter, hotter, as she came to her feet so slowly. He ravaged her with that gaze, took in every inch like a starving man at a feast. Fuck, she was gorgeous. All that soft blue, the lacy white, her dark hair. It almost brought up memories, but he thrust them violently away. Nothing would have his attention tonight but her.

    Just them.

    She answered his command. She stood. And then shifted that fine ass against the damn wall. As always with him, he went from one extreme to another without warning. It probably hadn't had the effect she'd thought it would. They were both a little unpredictable that way. His heat suddenly dropped, smoldering quietly in the furnace of his eyes, his smile softening and widening to a boyish grin and a soft chuckle. Always on her own terms too.

    So he'd meet her in the middle, then.
    He didn't mind. He liked how she stood up to him like this.

    His lips rolled into his mouth, licking them, but it couldn't wipe that smile off his face and he gave up. He walked over to her, his body relaxed save for being rock hard under his hips, and tilted his head to brush a tender nuzzle beside her mouth.

    "You are too good at me," he murmured so softly, leaving a kiss in the corner of her mouth. "Just by being you." And as always with her, he was thrilled and yet hated it.

    He'd also never kissed her and neither had she. 
    He wasn't sure they were quite ready to cross that one off.

    He trailed his mouth over her cheek, over the curve of muscle high in her neck, until his nose was lost in her hair and he could breathe her in. His body swayed involuntarily closer, leaning on her enough to feel her skin against his in places where he remained bare on his neck. He was enjoying this too much, the soft side. They were both safer if he kept it rough and desperate, but there were too many sides to him. And he craved this too.

    Still smiling, he turned his head to look at her, nose at the edge of her hair, right at her arched nape. "C'mon, baby," he said quietly, a playful plea. They both knew they both wanted this. It was just games until she gave in. They both knew it.

    "Let me be good at you too."

    we're slaves to any semblance of touch

    Lord, we should quit but we love it too much






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