Vulgaris;

[vulgaris]

VulgariS

take me, take me back to your bed. i love you so much that it hurts my head.
say, i don't mind you under my skin. oh, let the bad parts in, the bad parts in.

He knows that she will hunt Leliana just as he tries to hunt Dov, thwarted as always by the muzzle of diplomacy. But Shiya has no leash and no collar, and so she could hunt his lover as easily as breathing. Vulgaris feels the anguish that comes before the hunt and that is why he cannot bring himself to harm his sister. Instead, he resigns himself to the fate of exiling Leliana from Loess, from the danger that comes from loving a monster like him. Already it aches but he has no time to mourn his loss before Shiya reaches her greedy fingers into the deepest reaches of his heart. She finds all his most precious emotions and she crushes them in her fist. She doesn’t hesitate for even a second.

“I know.. I know…” he mumbles against her skin as she slips past him to tease the points of her teeth against his spine. “No one can ever love me but you.”

It aches to speak the words but he clings to the truth of them as though they’ll save him from drowning. He will be her plaything and he will be thankful for the opportunity to serve, he tells himself coldly. How could he ever have honestly believed he deserved someone as kind and soft as Leliana? How selfish could he be to deny her the life she was meant for? This pain is the payment for his narcissism, surely. Only anguish such as this could absolve him of his sins.

He leans his cheek against the scales of her hips and sighs slowly as the last hopeful piece of him seals itself away in the dark recesses of his mind. He turns his thoughts to the grim future instead. Come spring, each of them will bring another of his children into this world. Vulgaris wonders what sort of awful thing will come from their coupling.

“Are you going to stay here with me?”

The idea of sleeping alone after having spent the past year with Adna tucked against him terrified him. There would never be another morning where he saw the way the morning light caught Leliana’s cheek. Now, he would only wake to the cold and the rain. To emptiness. Maybe if Shiya remained the sight of her scales would comfort him. Maybe they would drive him mad.

"I'll make them all leave if you stay."

@[Shiya]