[mature] all things change; LELIANA

[leliana]

I waited for something, and something died
so I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived

She thinks on his words for a minute, letting them sink in, weighing them in her hands.

There is so much of them that make sense, and she wants to believe it. She wants to believe that it just takes someone wanting it enough, that you don’t need to be enough to earn that kind of love. It makes sense, but she still struggles to accept it. She has heard stories of great loves. She’s seen it. She knows what it’s like for two souls to merge together, tightening to become one, the idea of leaving unimaginable.

Why wasn’t she enough for that?

Why was she so easy to leave?

She feels the familiar sorrow rise in her throat but she stifles it when he steps in close. His touch burns at first because it reminds her of she had once stood with Vulgaris, the sound of the river roaring in her ears. She remembers what it felt like against his broad chest, his heart beat thudding next to her own. She remembers what it felt like to trace patterns into his scaled back, to tell him that he felt like home. The way they had spilled themselves together and he had invited her home, to raise the child growing in her.

Now, she stands chest to chest with someone, life flourishing in her belly.

But there’s no home for her now.

Still, she relaxes into his touch, feeling his wings come up her sides. She takes a deep breath and leans her cheek against his back. Her healing unloosens in her chest and she lets it flow into him, letting the golden light of it take its time through him. There is not much for her to heal, no critical wounds to tie together, but she is deft enough to find the minor hurts, the old bruises, the worn muscles. She lets her gift make its way through him, soothing what it can before it comes back to settle into her hands, content with its work.

“Thank you,” she finally manages, finding it easier to talk when not under his gaze.

“I needed a friend today.”

it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend
it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end