let me steal this from you now, leliana

[leliana]

I waited for something, and something died
so I waited for nothing, and nothing arrived

There is enough softness in the other mare for Leliana to open up, blossoming beneath the warmth like a rose, her hazel eyes peering up at her, studying the lines of her face. “I have a sister,” she says quietly, her heart thrumming in her chest at the thought of Exist, at the need to find her twin and curl into her side, pressing her chest to her sun-warmed back like they did as children. “I know what you mean.”

But before she can say anything else, the mare is stepping away again, her body shifting ever so slightly to hide the serpentine elements that are at once so painful and so comforting. How could she ever explain that to this mare? How could she tell her that the things she longs for are always the things that kill her? That she loves things that could never love her back, not as she wants to be loved.

She always tricks herself into thinking it will work, that she will be happy.

She is such a fool.

The mare’s next question causes her to take a sharper intake of breath and her brow furrows in thought, it taking considerable willpower to keep her wings from slipping back into that now familiar form. “They look like my daughter,” she gives a half-truth, a shadow of a smile curving the edges of her mouth, but even that small bit of deception bites at the back of her mind. “They look like her father,” she says on a sigh, feeling vulnerable with even that small defense stripped away from her. She cannot stop the way that her eyes bruise at the mention of him, the way the corner of her lips turn down in the corner.

“Vulgaris,” it feels like a small relief to say his name aloud, and she cannot decide if she wants to sink into it or drown in it—and whether or not there’s even a difference. “They look like Vulgaris.”

it's our dearest ally, it's our closest friend
it's our darkest blackout, it's our final end

@[Khuma]