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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Kali;
    #1

    Lacey

    She'd carefully extracted herself from baby Baddie's side, leaving him with his daddy Reilly to play with him. They were a handsome pair, those boys.

    As she came for her baby girl, Kharon was reluctant to release his little sister. He told her silently that she shouldn't expect Kali to speak, not after everything she'd been through. All in such a short time, too. One earth-shattering catastrophe after another.

    Honestly, it still creeped her out when he did that. To know that he could.
    And that he could hear these thoughts too.

    She blushed and nodded. See how terrible she was? Her own son made her uncomfortable, and he couldn't even help it. It certainly didn't help that he was his father's spitting image, only not silver. And thankfully nothing like his dull mother. She swallowed and waited for him to say his goodbyes, snuggling Kali a moment longer as if he were leaving for a damn week or something. The irritation had made it into her eyes but she managed not to tap her foot with impatience. Absolutely terrible.

    He still left with a soft smile for his mom though. Damn perfect like his stupid daddy. She didn't deserve this boy and his endless patience for her. But she didn't linger on it long as she took his place and lowered herself to curl up with her baby girl.

    "Hi, baby," she said tenderly as a good mom would have. She could pretend pretty well sometimes, see? Her chocolate lips pressed to Kali's little neck, that beautiful dove gray that she must have gotten from her daddy. Poor thing had her mom's boring brown eyes though, but she made them look like little angel eyes. The most beautiful brown full of love.

    "I missed you," she told her. "Things didn't go quite like they should have, hm? But Daddy and your brother brought you home to me, and I'm glad of that."

    She tried not to reflect on how much had changed. And how half of the family hadn't changed at all. "Things are pretty confusing," she murmured, feeling how damn true it was. "But we'll find a way through it as we always have." With Reilly and Kir helping her raise their family.




    @[Kali]
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    #2
    Oh. Oh god. Kali had clung to her Khari’s side from the moment they got back, tighter and tighter the more they learned. How their tiny little week had been so much longer for Kylie, long enough for her to grow up and have babies. How Mommy and Reilly and Baddie were missing, no sign of them in just as long.

    And then ohgod the scary sound in her head of somebody who was VERY not Khari calling-yelling-pulling-demanding she obey and come to Pangea and kill. Her Khari had had to hold her down to keep her from answering the way it sank claws into her head and pulled and tugged and made her limbs want to follow. He’d helped drag her free of it, but she’d been in so deep she’d still caught flashes of the bloodshed and she’d started shaking all over again, lost in panic as it melded with memories of Taiga on fire and flooding and the screams, god, the screams.

    He held her back until she stopped fighting and burrowed against his side again, and then he just held her as the world shook and rearranged itself and new lands took shape, as more voices flooded her mind telling her home wasn’t safe anymore. She’d shrunk down and climbed into his hair and started crying clinging to him and shaking and burying her face in his mane.

    She hadn’t spoken again since, had barely left the safety of his mane. The whole trip to a strange new island that rose up out of the sea, she’d held tight with tiny monkey hands and feet, trusting him to do his best to keep her safe. Even if safe didn’t feel very possible anymore. He’d held onto her the whole while since, even managed to coax her into a very reluctant shift back to her horse shape and let her curl up against him and hide her face in a way that was becoming all too familiar.

    She clung just as tight when he snuggled her and brushed his lips over her forehead and told her he was getting up so Mom could come snuggle her and love her too, didn’t want to let him go, so scared he’d get old without her too while he was gone. Don’t go far? she begged, wide brown eyes tearing up as she looked up at him. Or what if he got caught up in magic time again and she had to grow up all alone without him too just like Kylie! Oh, her poor Kylie, she must have been so, so lonely!

    She curled up and clung to Mommy the second Mommy was close, nuzzling into her side and hiding her face again so she didn’t have to see the place that wasn’t home, the way the colors were wrong and the beach was wrong and the whole island was wrong and not theirs. Mommy kissed her neck, and that helped a little, eased something inside her that had been so, so scared ever since Taiga, and even more scared since she found out Mommy was missing.

    Kali gasped in a shaky breath as Mommy kept talking, about how everything went awry and how confusing it all was. She nodded and wiped sneaky tears on Mommy’s shoulder. It was so, so hard and scary and confusing and Kali didn’t understand any of it, not how any of it could happen.

    It helped, though. That Mommy was here and safe and still herself. Still smelled like herself, still sounded like her, the way she blended gentleness with sass and stubbornness and love all in her voice at once. Kali nodded again, catching a few quick breaths as she fought a losing battle against more tears. The gentle murmur of Mommy’s voice was just enough to push her over the edge, and she nodded again and sobbed quietly against Mommy’s shoulder. They’d find a way through it. But to what?
    Reply
    #3

    Lacey

    It was strange to have someone cling so tightly to her. But it wasn't really her that her baby was clinging to. Only the security of familiar.

    She would take it anyway.
    From Kali, at least.

    She knew Kali was listening when her little head nodded to something she'd said. Maybe it was helping, then, to be speaking aloud about small nonsense, really. Just droll ramble in attempts to comfort her youngest child. She had never been skilled with mindless speech, preferring something more deep and intelligent than anyone ever seemed prepared to do.

    Or perhaps it was not helping after all. Kali curled in tighter and started crying. Drat. She grimaced and tucked her in, arched her neck over Kali's little shoulders to massage her grey-and-white side with her chin. There was nothing more she could say for it. They were all safe and that was what mattered. Things were strange and different, and sometimes a bit undesirable, but Kir's family was still here and well. All together.

    "There is plenty to explore here, have you seen?" she tried to entice her baby. Children loved to play and maybe Kali would find that light in her eyes again as she bounded from one new thing to another. Or maybe she wouldn't. Only time would tell, and either way was acceptable to Wallace. She knew too well that sometimes things simply weren't enjoyable anymore. Sometimes recovery and healing took longer than someone else thought it should.

    Or maybe they'd both be broken forever.
    At least Kali had her family.

    "I'm sure Kylin or Kharon would love to take you out. Or even Baddie, if you play near someone that can watch the two of you." She shifted her weight and let out a long breath, not quite a sigh. "Or even your father. Or Reilly." Reilly had nearly been a father to them, after all. She hoped the kids hadn't forgotten that. He did love them as his own. He was competing with Kir's impossibly loud presence, though. That couldn't be helped when Kir found them and decided he wanted to be a dad. How could he not when his children were so beautiful and stunning?

    Maybe she'd have a plain and boring child some day and the two of them could slip away into forgotten memories. Then she could have her own family.

    But she'd never wanted kids. Had been barely a child herself.
    This was not the life she'd wanted, and it wasn't even really hers.

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    #4
    The tears ebbed and Kali rubbed her face on Mommy’s shoulder again, drying her cheek and then just curling up pathetically into her embrace. She shook her head about exploring, hadn’t so much as glanced around beyond making sure they weren’t especially likely to get a volcano erupting on them or anything. Not that you could always tell anyhow, not when the gods were really mad.

    She didn’t feel much like exploring, though. Sighed and leaned a little harder into Mom, sniffling quietly and keeping her eyes closed. Let everyone else learn the land and make sure it was safe. As safe as it could be, anyhow. There was no such thing as really safe, so what did it matter anyhow? They’d do their best to protect her, and if something bigger and stronger decided to squish them like bugs they’d just die and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

    Was death safe at least, or did something even worse wait after it? Maybe it was just quiet and peaceful and nothing could hurt you anymore. That didn’t sound so bad. At least if the safe place was a lie and they all got sick and died the world couldn’t throw anything else at them. Maybe they’d all die together next time and it’d be done, no more screams and sobs and shaking in fear as the world turned against them, no more time warp games that broke people’s hearts and shattered anything delicate and lovely.

    Kali shrugged a little at the idea of going out exploring, sighed and closed her eyes tighter and just tried to relax and sleep. Sleep could be nice, so quiet and peaceful. Or it could be nightmare horrors chasing her and hunting her and trying to devour her. Maybe it was all the same anyhow. Bring on the nightmare, then. Didn’t matter anyhow.
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    #5

    Lacey

    It hurt her heart that her baby didn't want to go exploring or check out her new temporary home. Or really do anything a little kid would normally want to do. All she wanted to do was sit here and cuddle. Of course Wallace wasn't about to turn them down. Doesn't get enough of them.

    She sucked as a mom and this wasn't what she originally wanted, but they were hers and she loved them. She wouldn't have it any other way. Where they were concerned, anyway.

    She held her for a good while longer. Didn't really have much else to say that was worth saying. Nothing her baby needed to hear about. So she just snuggled up, bathing her baby girl in all the doting affection she doesn't really get to give her. She was beautiful, her youngest girl. So beautiful. All three of them were.

    "Come along, baby love," she sighed gently, shifting carefully to rise to her feet. She nuzzled Kali so tenderly, breathing her in and brushing her lips over her nape. "I can't lie so still anymore. Don't let me walk alone." She said it with a little smile, but she might have meant it a bit. If her baby didn't want to explore than at least she could join her while she did it herself.

    "I, at least, intend to know this home we're staying in." Her brows lifted with the soft jest. "It's not Ischia, it's not home. It'll do for now, though. And who knows. Maybe some of us will prefer it." She didn't want to think their family could ever split up.

    But there are probably some things she couldn't possibly live with.

    Reply
    #6
    Kali could have stayed there forever, curled up against Mom’s side with her eyes closed, ignoring the world while Mom petted her hair and nuzzled her gently and held her close. She’d slept too much the last few days to be tired, but she fell into a half-asleep daze anyhow, everything falling away but the sound of their breath and Mom’s heartbeat beneath her ear keeping a steady, soothing rhythm.

    Eventually Mom sighed and coaxed her gently up, and Kali looked up at her with dull eyes. She nodded and complied though, dragging herself to her feet and tucking herself up against Mom’s side. She didn’t mind walking, and didn’t want Mom to be alone and get lost and come back old tomorrow, or the same age when Kali was all grown up. If they were going to stumble into another time warp they might as well stick together.

    Her ears flicked back anxiously though at the thought of leaving Khari behind, and she glanced around to see if he’d come back yet, thought a soft little anxious query his way to see if he was close enough to hear and reach out and touch her mind and reassure her he was still there and safe.

    He did, soft little touches of reassurance, his mind brushing against hers, a little kiss to her cheek and a gentle nuzzle that eased her anxiety and let her relax against Mom’s side. She nodded as Mom kept talking, but went still when Mom suggested maybe some of them would prefer this island over Ischia.

    For a moment her breath caught in her lungs and her chest tightened and she froze, forgetting how to breathe at the thought of them splitting up into two homes. But she could walk across the water. All three of them could, and Daddy, and even Kylie’s babies too. So even if they did live in two places, it’d maybe be okay. Maybe. Just like walking back and forth, no big deal. No big deal.

    The quiet thoughts didn’t chase away the tightness in her chest, but she nodded again anyhow and followed along without a word, eyes mostly on the ground in front of her, letting Mom wander and explore and not do so alone.
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    #7

    Lacey

    Her baby's eyes were so dull, like hers. That hurt. She was far too young to have her momma's dead eyes, to feel the emptiness of hopelessness. Still, Kali stood and leaned into her side. That was a good sign, possibly. Until she looked suddenly anxious and glanced around, probably looking for her brother that had clung so tightly and protective to her. He must have been near enough to calm her, because she relaxed and nodded.

    Speaking of some of them preferring this island over their home island had made her go still again, though, and Wallace instantly regretted it. She should be more careful with her words. But perhaps it was best that Kali was aware it could be a possibility. It was the last thing she wanted for their family, but she had a limit. And she just wasn't strong enough for some things.

    She never wanted that for their family.
    But it was bound to happen.
    She'd try to bear it as long as she could though. For her babies.

    She walked with her girl in relative quiet, listening to the colorful birds hidden in the trees, and the other wildlife bustling around them. It was nice to be alone with Kali. Even if she knew she wouldn't be able to get her to speak. It wouldn't be her. It was never her.

    She lifted her face as she walked, her dark brown hair in soft waves over her lighter-brown neck. It was a welcome heat over her skin when the sunlight broke through the canopy and splashed over them. Her lace nearly glowed from it, pale scars lighting up brightly in contrast to her chocolatey color. So many memories were interlaced between them. Irreplaceable, irreversible.

    Her dark face turned to her baby and she nuzzled her again as they walked, pouring her love into her as best she could. The kids were worth everything she'd been through, everything she still suffered from. All the heartache that shouldn't even exist. Her own fault. But her babies were beyond worth it, each one of them. It was incredible how much good had come of it, the dark point in her life.

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    #8
    The quiet helped. Kali clung to her mom’s side like she hadn’t needed to do since she was much smaller, and really she’d never clung like this even when she was her tiniest. Always a little adventurous, or more than a little some days, and at her Khari’s side just as often or maybe moreso. Shy and clingy had certainly not been her style as a baby. But then, as a baby she didn’t know the scary things the world held, only soft touches and sweet voices and love and fussing and happiness.

    So naive. Some days she missed that wide-eyed little girl who looked at the world and saw exciting possibilities. Most of the time though that old version of her felt like a stranger. Maybe that Kali had died just outside Taiga’s wall going to see her uncle like she’d done a dozen times. Maybe she was dead, and that was why she felt so...awful. Scared of everything and numb in waves that felt like they’d drown her instead of holding her up. A tight chest that felt like it would slowly crush the air out of her body and never let it back in, like a big old snake wrapped around her and slowly crushing the life out of her.

    Maybe this was what dead felt like. Maybe this was forever. She should care more, knew in some deep down distant locked away part of her that she should not be alright with that thought, that being dead should be distressing. But it wasn’t enough to reach her, and she sighed softly and rested her head against Mom’s shoulder, dragging her feet a little and walking along just fast enough to keep up with the pace Mom set.

    Those gentle little touches were nice though, soft nuzzles and love that made her feel a little less like everything in the world was awful. Maybe just almost all of it. Still, she just drifted alongside Mom in a little daze, letting her lead, following without fuss or even really looking where they were going. All that mattered was the contact, the touch of her shoulder to Mom’s ribs, her face to that spot where Mom’s neck met her shoulder. She even rubbed her face there and nuzzled Mom back gently. It was the best she could manage, but maybe it was something at least.
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