"But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura
Dizzy didn’t know what she’d expected. But somehow it hadn’t been the way he looked at her, purple-flecked eyes heavy with desolation for a long moment before he looked away. Came in close to give the girls each a kiss, to give her a look she couldn’t read beyond empty and hurt and the gaping distance between them even though their bodies were right next to each other. Close enough to reach out and touch, but he didn’t. And maybe that said it all. He turned his head just enough to look at Dov too, then...then left.
She couldn’t blame him. Not after how badly she’d hurt him, and how much worse she must have hurt him with Defy. But she couldn’t warn him about something she didn’t know, and her little man had come out of nowhere, born on the heels of torture and agony, her little guiding light in the darkness. He’d saved her. Dragged her back from the edge of despair with those perfect black eyes of his, so much like his daddy’s. And she couldn’t bring herself to regret anything about him, not even the hurt his existence caused Zor. Maybe that made her a terrible person. A terrible sister? No, she’d crossed that bridge a long time ago.
She sighed, brushing more soft little kisses to her daughters’ necks, holding them close. If he needed space, she wouldn’t push. They’d have to talk though, sooner or later. The girls should know the truth. Zoe should know the truth, and it wouldn’t take much figuring, looking at her little brother. Looking at her father. Maybe they could put that part off for a little while, but it would be better coming from them.
There was, though, something just as important. “Girls,” she said softly, still fussing over their pretty hair and holding onto them. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” She glanced up at Dov, meeting his eyes, worrying at the inner corner of her lip. They hadn’t had any time to prepare for a baby brother, but here he was, right in front of them, sneaky as little Zoe had been.
“Girls, this is your baby brother, Defy. He snuck up on us, the little imp. If I’d known he was coming I’d have told you sooner. Defy, baby, these are your big sisters we were telling you about.” She touched her lips to Zynnie’s shoulder. “This is Zynistra, but we usually call her Zynnie.” And to Zoe’s. “And this is Dizorien, but we mostly call her Zoe. You wanna come say hi, baby?”
Daddy was the best, just the best person in the whole world. His absolute favorite, and Defy beamed right up at him and tossed his head in a sassy nod. “Me! Yeah, I’ll show ‘em all!” He’d be the best flyer and the best taker-carer of Momma, and he’d look awesome doin’ it too ‘cause he was covered in his daddy’s starry blue. But there were more urgent matters than how handsome and awesome he was, like the girls stealin’ his momma. But Daddy tugged him in close instead of sending him off to fight ‘em, and Defy frowned up at him.
“Share?!” he asked, his little boy voice dripping offended jealousy. “But she’s mine!” He narrowed his eyes up at Daddy, suspectin’ trickery when he said they were more people they were s’posed to protect, and then asked if he didn’t think he could handle it protecting that many. Of COURSE he could handle it! But just ‘cause he could didn’t mean he wanted to. “But sharing’s dumb, Daddy, why would I wanna let anybody else cuddle my momma? ‘Cept you, but that doesn’t count. You’re mine too.”
Daddy seemed determined, even if it sounded like the worst idea ever. Completely unconvinced, he let Daddy kiss him and fuss over him, playing with his hair. Just let out a soft, grumpy, unhappy huff and sulked against his daddy’s shoulder, staring at Momma cuddling other kids who weren’t him. So fucking dumb.
The guy who must be Uncle Zor spared him a glance and a nod, hacked up half a lung, and then just left, and left the girls with Momma instead of taking them with him! What? No, but! Ah fuck, he was gonna be stuck with ‘em forever now, wasn’t he? He stared after Zor’s retreating form, mouth gaping on an indignant huff. Hey! No, come back, you can’t just leave them here! All that came out was an offended squeak though, ‘cause Daddy’d already said he had to keep them. What if they were awful though?
Momma called him over to meet them, introduced them, and they both had hard, weird names and then a second easier shorter name. But they had Z-names though like his uncle, ‘cept Zoe had a D-name but not? And it was all weird and he didn’t like any of it. He stuck tight to Daddy’s shoulder, scowling fiercely. No, he did not wanna come say hi.
But Momma was asking. And she had that sorta nervous hopeful look on her face that started to slowly droop to sad the longer he clung to Daddy. So he huffed out another grumbly sigh and stomped a couple of steps closer. For Momma. ‘Cause he didn’t want her sad, and clearly this was important to her. He still glowered at the pair of them, eyes dark with suspicion, ears back all grumpy-like. And he stayed close to Daddy still, ‘cause fuck if they got to share him too. “Hi,” he grumped, and it was the best he had, but he was tryin’ hard for her so Momma’d better appreciate it.
She stayed at her momma's side, giving that rude boychild a side-eye. What was his deal, anyway?
Daddy came closer to brush each of them, touch them so sweetly, and her eyes lifted to him with quiet delight. His own gaze was not happy though, no light at all in them, and her expression faded instantly. Daddy was upset? Stay with Momma? Isntead of asking questions, she shrank back, clinging to Zoe's side. She was the only one that never left her.
She touched her lips to her sister's nape, lipping at the base of her pretty hair. Today was not as great as she'd thought it would be. Finding Momma should've been a good thing, but it just looked bad. Everything felt bad. The only good was the way Momma touched them, kinda in a new way, a way they hadn't seen much of before. It was so so nice and she wanted to keep it, but it was new and she didn't trust it to stay.
Nothing ever seems to stay.
"Girls," Momma said to them then, and Zynnie slid her eyes to her face and waited, firmly glued to Zoe's winged side. "Girls, this is your baby brother, Defy." What?
She looked at him, that small starry boy that was very much the boneman's child. That's their brother? How was that even possible. He didn't look anything like Daddy. "I don't understand," she whispered into Zoe's skin next to her ear as Momma introduced them right back to the winged boy, laying her cheek against Zoe's neck and feeling a tight knot twist in her tummy.
02-09-2019, 01:52 AM (This post was last modified: 02-09-2019, 01:59 AM by Dizorien.)
dizorien
just a bit of a surprise.
Momma. They were finally back in their momma's embrace. It felt like forever ago since they'd seen her. And oh man, it feels so nice to be back! Her heart stammers in her chest in her excitement, not even a little bit able to get enough cuddles and kisses from her. "Missed you, Mommy. So much. We were brave though! We stayed out of sight from everybody. We hid until Daddy came for us! Daddy, and the bone man." Her dark, starry eyes dance from her mother's face to the boney stallion she'd mentioned. He is so strange and creepy to her, but oh. The little boy sure is happy to see him. And the bone man seems just as happy and very nice to him. Even when the kid glares at her and Zynnie, shouting about how their momma is his. Hmph. What? But at least the man quiets him down some, telling him that he would have to share her with them. Umm... Okay. Yeah, and little pipsqueak for wings was supposed to protect them. Funny.
Zoe could feel a little tug at the corner of her mouth, and a little burn building up as she thought of some things to say. But just then, their daddy started coughing so bad, she forgets all about the boy and his sire. She frowns as her eyes glue to him until he stops, wishing she knew how to help him. Oh and his eyes are so sad when he looks at Mommy. Deeper and sadder than she knows how to understand. But then he's coming closer, nuzzles both her and her sister. She could sense the ache from him right away, but she nuzzles him back. She's still frowning when his voice crackles as he says he needs to rest and to stay with their mother. The girl nods. "Love you, Daddy. Feel better, okay?" She doesn't want him to go, but she also can see how tired he looks. Maybe resting was the best for him right now.
Zynnie shrinks into her side and Zoe automatically envelops her with one glossy, black wing, her muzzle pressing to the soft place behind her lower jaw. Nestled tightly together, she looks back up as Momma strokes their hair and then introduces the boy as Defy. Their baby brother. But.. Defy's dad is the bone man. But.. that means. Her gaze leaps back to the man she thought her daddy had called Dovev, looks over his sunken features under all that stinky, bloody bone. Ewww.. She had sex with him? Why? She then looks off, back in the direction their daddy had gone, wondering if he knew. Wondering if that was why he was so sad just a moment ago.
She frowns back at Defy, who was scowling so rudely at them, and her ebony ears inch back into her hair the longer he stares like that, even more when he stomps forward and huffs. So much attitude for one so small, she thinks. "Hi." He says, simply. Zoe has so many questions, but the little worry she sees in Momma's face says now isn't the time. She glances between the boychild and bone man, then back up to Mom and her sister. They are brave, and as much attitude as this kid has, Zoe has just as much. "Hi," she repeats back to him, moving to stand more squarely, although keeping Zynnie tucked under wing at her side. Her dark eyes glitter and chin lifts as she stares him down, a small smirk touching her lips. "Baby brother."
Dizzy’s heart clenched at the pain and confusion on her babies’ faces. She’d known this was going to be hard, but it had to be done. Maybe it would’ve been easier if she’d known she was pregnant with Defy, if she’d reunited with Dovev while the girls were smaller, if she’d explained things when they were young the way she’d always expected she would have. She’d...well, she’d been waiting for him to come home to her, to see what he wanted, how much a part of their lives he wanted to be. She’d never quite thought it would take so long, and...well, she had no excuses for how much of a wreck she’d been. She should’ve done this differently, but it was too late to change it now. Moving forward was the best they could do.
She pressed a soft kiss to fretful Zynnie’s shoulder, brushing the velvet softness of her nose against her baby’s skin. “I know this is confusing, sweetheart. I didn’t know about Defy ‘til he was born. He was sneaky, just like Zoe, or I would’ve told you sooner. Dovev is his daddy. Your daddy and I have known him since we were a year or two older than you are now, but he’s been gone working since--” Well, she definitely was not gonna say since right after they made Defy. She blushed a little and tried again. “Um, for a long time. That’s why you haven’t met him before now.”
She ducked her head to get a better look at her baby girl’s face. “Does that make a little more sense, baby? Do you have more questions for me?” Zoe seemed to be rolling with things pretty well, for now at least, but Dizzy couldn’t quite tell if she was dealing or if she was putting on a brave face for Zynnie. Or if she’d have a whole pile of questions later, after she’d had time to process.
Defy was thoroughly unimpressed with this whole dumb sister situation. They didn’t need him to protect them, not at all. They had their own daddy, and they had each other, and he guessed they even had Momma too, even if he didn’t like the idea of sharing her. The one already didn’t like him, looking at him and then curling in tighter to her twin looking just as miserable that he existed as he’d been at the news that he didn’t get to have Momma all to himself forever. And the other one, the one whose name was a D-name but not a D-name but he already couldn’t remember how to say it, she squared off and drew herself up and smirked down at him like she was better than him! And made baby sound like a taunt instead of a cuddle like it always sounded coming from Momma and Daddy.
He scowled harder, glaring at her and huffing and standing up tall too, rustling his little chicken wings and resettling them against his sides. He opened his mouth to fire back some kinda sassy comeback, but then Momma fussed over the quieter one and he wilted a little, ‘cause he knew she wanted them to get along and be nice to each other. Which was so, so impossible, they were stealing her and she was his and it wasn’t fair! But she had that soft look in her eyes as she looked at the girls, the one he’d thought all this time was just for him and Daddy, and it stole all the smart right outta his mouth and left his heart hurting and his dumb little wings drooping and his shoulders slumping.
He hated everything, and he just wanted to go curl up in a ball and be miserable. But he couldn’t, or he’d be letting Daddy down. And Momma would be sad. He couldn’t even stomp off and be mad, even though it was bubbling up inside him trying to chase away the confusion and the hurt with something easier and safer and louder and way more satisfying than dumb old sad anyhow. So he just stood there watching Momma love somebody who wasn’t him, his whole little body practically vibrating with loud, confusing, clashy, awful feelings that he didn’t know what to do with, his scowl getting deeper and deeper ‘til it felt like he was gonna explode or his head was gonna crack in two.
