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    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    Anyone, birthing;
    #1
    Deep down all you want is love
    The pure kind we all dream of


    Is it fear, or anger, that spurs her to imprison herself within the trees? When Shiya looks around, she sees only the grotesque, blight-eaten trees towering above her. Their branches reach hungrily for her as she threads among their trunks, her stomach large and heavily pregnant. For days – or has it been weeks? – she has desperately clung onto the pregnancy as her thoughts whirled with what next to do. This child was to be a beautiful beginning, but instead, it has become a painful end.

    Vulgaris wants her gone.
    Their family, their love, has risen and fallen within the year.

    She should be used to this. Shiya has only had poor hands dealt to her in life; this should be no different, and yet it stings the most.

    A contraction stabs through her body, but she does not flinch. The pain is so familiar; it’s a reassurance, too, that she can still feel something in this cruel world. Her emerald eyes drift shut as she steadies her breathing before weaving around another trunk and settling down in a bed of pines. She can only hope that she is deep enough in the forest that he will not hunt her, or find her.

    The delivery is quick, the contractions brief as she pushes the child into this god forsaken world. A boy, she observes when she shifts to look at the result of an eternity-long love. A frown creases her pretty face. ”I could spare us both and kill you,” she whispers sweetly to him as she traces the lines of his face and notes how he perfectly emulates their familial traits. As much as she doesn’t want to admit it, he is beautiful. He is everything she could want in a son, and yet, she forces herself to look away in fear that they’ve already been found. Such a cruel twist it would be even as her mind falls deeper into conflict with each labored breath. ”But you’ve done nothing wrong… Not yet.” Shiya knows that he will, that he will be another pulled thread, because she doesn’t deserve the finer things in life; she doesn’t deserve happiness.

    With a low grunt, Shiya rises to her feet and turns to face the colt. Finally, she reaches to touch him and cradles his forehead with her scaled lips. ”You will bring heartache,” she mumbles with her eyes shut in fear of what is to come. She wonders how poorly their lives will play out, how destroyed their family already is. ”And you will be my Despair,” because she already misses the tenderness that Vulgaris once shared with her. Brief as it was, it gave her hope that maybe, just maybe, she could find love and joy.

    How the world loves to tear her apart and deprive her.

    Placing a tender kiss on his poll, Shiya steps forward to grant him access to nursing. As much as she wants to run – like she has with all her other children – the history of the boy’s conception roots her and bounds her to him. ”I will try to protect you,” but she doesn’t say from what, doesn’t admit that it’s his father from whom she wants to keep him. Perhaps they can find a home and build a life. Maybe she can lie to Vulgaris to keep their boy hidden.

    Maybe.

    SHIYA

    But we cannot escape the past,
    so you and I will never last

    original html by Jassal

    @[despair] @[Jassal]
    Reply
    #2
    i could dig myself out of the loneliest of graves for you, could be taken down like a dog that got itself a mouthful of blood and liked the taste, could give myself up belly-up. crane toward you like a heliotrope in the sun.
    All at once, his world goes from warm and black to alarmingly cold and blinding. He cries weakly at the abrupt change and blinks his eyes open, squinting up at the face of his mother as she examines him. Despair sneezes and coughs, continues to mewl as she speaks with words he doesn’t yet comprehend. The only thing he’s certain of is that her voice is familiar and she smells like safety, and so the little bud of his heart begins to blossom around her. He smiles up at her dumbly even as she scans their surroundings for any imagined threats. His tiny ears swivel forward when she speaks again. It’s all a foreign language to him still, but he tries to understand her.

    His doe eyes observe as she stands and he tries to emulate her movements, though his legs wobble the moment he tries to get up. He wobbles back and forth, sways from side to side as he stumbles closer to her. Her lips are soft and doting when they find his face and he smiles once more, so content to simply be with her right now. ‘You will bring heartache,’ she says and he stares up at her in wonder. Are these words important? Should he memorize them? Despair. He clings to the word and sounds it out with his newborn mouth.

    D-des… Despair,” he repeats, eyes locked on her for approval or rejection, his entire being hinging on her love for him.

    His tiny fluff of tail flicks excitedly when she kisses him before he nuzzles against her cheek so sweetly. Her pointed teeth and serpent eyes have already been carved so perfectly into his memory. For him, the cruel shape of her face is the image of love already. Though he doesn’t mean to, his eyes flicker to mimic hers before resuming their equine pupils.

    Protect!” he repeats with a confident nod, and laughs before carefully stepping closer to nurse from her. For now, he is a kind child whose world revolves solely around her and her acceptance of him. He does not know the bitter circumstances of his birth nor of his conception, but in the coming days he will surely begin to realize he has a father out there somewhere. Will he look for him? Better yet, will Vulgaris hunt him? These questions, for him, remain unasked for now.
    here is the field in my heart that bears your name. here is the whole country, aching and tender,
    i named after you. here is my whole entire heart.
    @[Shiya]
    Reply
    #3
    Deep down all you want is love
    The pure kind we all dream of


    ”Always,” she reassures with a low, murmuring whisper that’s almost lost on the wind. Shiya smiles to the boy as he nestles against her, his scales bringing her solace and joy. This is what she wanted – a family – but the dream was torn apart before it truly came to fruition. With the change of seasons everything life was guiding her toward crumbled in her hands. Vulgaris had been so close, so enraptured that it even led her to believe how beautiful their family would be together. She desperately hoped that all else would be discarded once their union was solidified and concrete. Despair’s conception was beautiful and it was passionate. She and Vulgaris succumbed to what they believed was destiny, and for a fleeting time, Shiya felt like their mother – happy, excited, loved.

    But what a foolish girl she is. Just like she told Vulgaris, no one wants monsters like them.
    They aren’t meant for true and forever love.
    Shiya will never be like Dillan.

    Tears well in her eyes, trembling as she looks out toward the surrounding trees until she composes herself to look down again. They almost fell down her cheeks, but she cannot possibly let her boy see her sorrow. And so she forces herself to smile again as she reaches down to touch him, missing his body’s warmth even for the few seconds she spent looking away. ”We will find a home, a safe place to go.” Where, Shiya doesn’t know. Nothing is safe here anymore. She doesn’t have an obligation to any one place or one person, not anymore. The Brilliant Pampas is not an option.

    Without notice, Shiya doesn’t mention his father, that he even has one. ”Just you and me, little one,” affirmation that the boy is hers, only hers.

    A tender kiss is placed on his forehead before she (unwillingly) retracts from his scaling skin. ”Where would you like to go, my darling? Would you like to explore? Or perhaps meet other children?” Away from this public area, she thinks, and farther away from where Vulgaris frequents.


    SHIYA

    But we cannot escape the past,
    so you and I will never last

    original html by Jassal

    @[despair] @[Jassal]
    Reply
    #4
    i could dig myself out of the loneliest of graves for you, could be taken down like a dog that got itself a mouthful of blood and liked the taste, could give myself up belly-up. crane toward you like a heliotrope in the sun.
    Despair is new enough to this world that he does not fear the dark edges of his mother’s voice. After all, this is the voice he slept to while he was still safely curled up within her womb, the only voice he knows of yet. Every breath is the sound of safety to him and he knows that he belongs at her side right now, bundled tight to her warmth and love. It takes little to fill his belly for now and so he returns to her face quickly, eager to listen once more as she speaks to him with carefully calculated words. Love. Her voice goes soft around this word and it makes him feel fuzzy inside.

    Love you,” he parrots, smiling up at her still. But then she grows serious and concerned, dimming his bright expression as she explains that there is someone looking for them. His little head nods slowly as he tries to memorize her words. Similar to her, but he wants to hurt them? The first flower of fear blooms black within him and his legs tremble despite having found their footing. He swallows the lump forming in his throat as tears begin to swell within his shimmering eyes. He presses tight to her chest for comfort and buries his face against her.

    Find me, she says, and Despair begins to associate her with safety and protection now. Shiya uses words that claim possession over him and, foolish boy that he is, he believes that these are the phrases of a mother. Some day he might realize that this is a slow poison meant to consume and corrupt him, but today is not that day, so he remains nestled snug to her.

    Protect me,” he mumbles weakly against her skin as he looks up at her, his guardian angel with sharp teeth and predator eyes. He wonders why this evil stranger might look like her but he doesn’t think to ask. His trust in her is all encompassing enough that her word is more than enough for him to believe in everything she says. Meanwhile, little scales have developed along his spine and they stand on end like a puff adder, terrified and threatened.
    here is the field in my heart that bears your name. here is the whole country, aching and tender,
    i named after you. here is my whole entire heart.
    @[Shiya]
    Reply
    #5
    Deep down all you want is love
    The pure kind we all dream of


    ”Always,” she reassures with a low, murmuring whisper that’s almost lost on the wind. Shiya smiles to the boy as he nestles against her, his scales bringing her solace and joy. This is what she wanted – a family – but the dream was torn apart before it truly came to fruition. With the change of seasons everything life was guiding her toward crumbled in her hands. Vulgaris had been so close, so enraptured that it even led her to believe how beautiful their family would be together. She desperately hoped that all else would be discarded once their union was solidified and concrete. Despair’s conception was beautiful and it was passionate. She and Vulgaris succumbed to what they believed was destiny, and for a fleeting time, Shiya felt like their mother – happy, excited, loved.

    But what a foolish girl she is. Just like she told Vulgaris, no one wants monsters like them.
    They aren’t meant for true and forever love.
    Shiya will never be like Dillan.

    Tears well in her eyes, trembling as she looks out toward the surrounding trees until she composes herself to look down again. They almost fell down her cheeks, but she cannot possibly let her boy see her sorrow. And so she forces herself to smile again as she reaches down to touch him, missing his body’s warmth even for the few seconds she spent looking away. ”We will find a home, a safe place to go.” Where, Shiya doesn’t know. Nothing is safe here anymore. She doesn’t have an obligation to any one place or one person, not anymore. The Brilliant Pampas is not an option.

    Without notice, Shiya doesn’t mention his father, that he even has one. ”Just you and me, little one,” affirmation that the boy is hers, only hers.

    A tender kiss is placed on his forehead before she (unwillingly) retracts from his scaling skin. ”Where would you like to go, my darling? Would you like to explore? Or perhaps meet other children?” Away from this public area, she thinks, and farther away from where Vulgaris frequents.


    SHIYA

    But we cannot escape the past,
    so you and I will never last

    original html by Jassal

    @[despair] @[Jassal]


    Totally made a mistake, I think. When I edited the last post to get the html, I guess I got sidetracked then thought I was in the reply box, not the edit... sooo last post is gone and replaced with this one twice over. Woops lol
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