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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    [private]  haunted by the ghost of you; dovev
    #11
    leliana
    she said “oh, I know that love is all about the wind
    how it can hold me up and kill me in the end”

    The duality of the moment rushes through her, clearing the fog in her head but burying the knife in her belly. His confirmation causes her heart to swell painfully in her chest while simultaneously crushing it. She can barely breathe around it. Can barely breathe around the want and the desire and that selfish need to lose herself in him—to forget that he has a family, that she has a family. To forget everything.

    But the stiff way that he holds himself away from her is not lost on her. Once upon a time, he would have pulled her close. Would have his teeth on her throat already, heat erupting between them. Once upon a time, he would have held her, cradled her, taken her to the edge and then brought her back again.

    Once upon a time.

    But he doesn’t now, and she can only assume it is because the answer to her question was a yes—but a yes in past tense. He has other loves now. Greater loves, maybe, and the thought tears into her. She shudders a little, struggling to think, to breathe, but she straightens, giving him the space that he so obviously desires. She deflates slightly, shuffling her wings and drawing them back over her back, shame burning low and hot in her throat. Her lovely features shadow in frown as she looks down.

    Breathe, Leliana, she thinks. Just breathe.

    “I’m sorry,” she finally manages, her voice even and measured, despite the effort it takes to say them. “I have always been so selfish when it comes to you.” She always asked more of him than he could give. She followed him to his home. She healed him when she found him in the meadow again. She pushed her love on him—again and again and again. Despite knowing—despite knowing everything.

    And here she was, again, stealing these moments like they are hers.

    A single tear falls down her cheek, her side cooling with the distance between them. It always felt so profound with him, visceral, and she closes her eyes to gain control again—that brief moment of fighting for stability. When she opens her hazel eyes again, they are dimmer, but her expression is neutral, the lines of her face rearranged into something calm. “I don’t know what to do anymore, Dov.”

    Everything was so broken—so shattered beyond recognition.

    “But that’s not your problem to solve.” She exhales slowly. “I’ll figure it out. I have to.”

    [Image: avatar-1975.gif]
    the heaviness in my heart belongs to gravity
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