[mature] chew it up and swallow it.

[adna]

and if you're still breathing, you're the lucky ones
‘cause most of us are heaving through corrupted lungs

It doesn’t make sense—none of it makes sense.

Losing your memory wasn’t a thing that really happened, was it? He must be speaking metaphorically. She argues with herself, reasons. Tries to make sense of this image of her father standing over a child’s corpse. This cold-eyed snake who doesn’t draw her close and comfort her. Who does nothing. 

She shakes her head, confusion clear in her eyes. 

But nothing sinks in as deep as when he tells her that she is the same. That she carries this same curse in her. That what she is, what she has inherited from him, is not something to be proud of, something to rejoice in, but a curse—something that spells someone else’s doom. Someone’s child.

“No,” she spits out the word as tears spring to her eyes, her serpentine face hard. “No, I won’t be like you.” She takes a step back, shaking her head, feeling her stomach twist. “I won’t be a,” her voice trembles a little here and she chokes on the word even as she throws it in  his face. “a monster.” 

Her vision goes hazy, her mind struggling to keep up with this rapid fire twist of events, and she knows she can’t go back home. She can’t go sleep next to Sabbath and pretend everything is okay. She can’t let her mother press kisses into her neck and lie—continue to lie. Continue to pretend this is fine.

“Don’t look for me,” she says, nearly choking on the words as she takes another step back.

And then, without another word, she spins on her hocks and catapults forward into the meadow, leaving the scene of gore and heartache behind her as she rushes into somewhere she doesn’t know.

adna

we're setting fire to our insides for fun
collecting pictures from a flood that wrecked our home

@[vulgaris] drama queen much