02-27-2019, 03:53 PM
Dizzy had some thinking to do, the kind that couldn’t be done with her kids at her side. She left Defy with his daddy, gave the girls a little space to wander and explore their home or cuddle up to their dad, and gave herself a moment to let go. To set aside all of the pressure, all of the need pulling her in different directions, and just breathe. She walked, using the slow rhythm of her steps to quiet the noise in her head.
She’d gotten mostly used to the kids touching her, innocent little bumps of their small bodies against her side, snuggles and cuddles and pleas for attention and love. But touch was still a tricky thing after the horrors she’d been through, and some days it took all she had to pretend otherwise. Her skin felt hypersensitized, like she could almost feel the healing energy still vibrating along the surface of her, still coaxing new hair to grow back in wild black and white patches that splayed and sprawled across her body, their stitched edges making her feel just a little ragged, like a doll that had been patched together one too many times.
She could remember a time when she didn’t care who touched her, took easy pleasure in the brush of lips against her skin or the sharp pinch of teeth quickening her heartbeat so deliciously. She could still remember the not-so-innocent girl she’d been, playing dangerous games with her brother, trying to teach him to own the pain the world would throw at him long before she had any notion of what true pain was. Funny, she’d probably caused him more than the rest of the world ever would. No way to take it back, though, no way to unhurt him.
With a heavy sigh, she carried on, not really knowing where her feet were taking her. Just following the pull of the tempestuous sea, letting herself meander toward the ocean. It wasn’t until she heard the soft call of a stranger that she paused, feet stuttering to a stop, dark brown eyes widening warily and taking in her surroundings with a bit more care. Her gaze settled on the stranger, and she hesitated. He was male, which instantly put her on edge. But she couldn’t be paranoid of every strange man she encountered for the rest of her life, and honestly if she started screaming here on the island someone would probably come help her out.
Probably.
Suspicion colored her voice when she managed to make it work. “Hello,” she said, eying the stranger warily. “Who are you?”
((ugh sorry this took forever))
She’d gotten mostly used to the kids touching her, innocent little bumps of their small bodies against her side, snuggles and cuddles and pleas for attention and love. But touch was still a tricky thing after the horrors she’d been through, and some days it took all she had to pretend otherwise. Her skin felt hypersensitized, like she could almost feel the healing energy still vibrating along the surface of her, still coaxing new hair to grow back in wild black and white patches that splayed and sprawled across her body, their stitched edges making her feel just a little ragged, like a doll that had been patched together one too many times.
She could remember a time when she didn’t care who touched her, took easy pleasure in the brush of lips against her skin or the sharp pinch of teeth quickening her heartbeat so deliciously. She could still remember the not-so-innocent girl she’d been, playing dangerous games with her brother, trying to teach him to own the pain the world would throw at him long before she had any notion of what true pain was. Funny, she’d probably caused him more than the rest of the world ever would. No way to take it back, though, no way to unhurt him.
With a heavy sigh, she carried on, not really knowing where her feet were taking her. Just following the pull of the tempestuous sea, letting herself meander toward the ocean. It wasn’t until she heard the soft call of a stranger that she paused, feet stuttering to a stop, dark brown eyes widening warily and taking in her surroundings with a bit more care. Her gaze settled on the stranger, and she hesitated. He was male, which instantly put her on edge. But she couldn’t be paranoid of every strange man she encountered for the rest of her life, and honestly if she started screaming here on the island someone would probably come help her out.
Probably.
Suspicion colored her voice when she managed to make it work. “Hello,” she said, eying the stranger warily. “Who are you?”
((ugh sorry this took forever))