if the truth has been forbidden then we're breaking all the rules; Gendry

[Arrya]

If the truth has been forbidden, then we're breaking all the rules.

Something was different.  Somewhere along the line, and she wasn’t quite sure when, Arrya had started to feel…safe.  She’d always felt safe with Gendry, it wasn’t that.  Not exactly, at least.  But now…well, hell, she wasn’t sure what it even was.  She felt safer in herself, maybe?  In the world?  No, that was stupid.  Whatever, it didn’t matter, the point was things were really fucking good, and she and Gendry were pretty much the most badass power couple ever because she damn well said so and so did he, and nobody was going to fuck with them or tear them apart or break them.  She felt safe, okay?  And she loved their little family of two.  And somehow, and this was the weird part, right?  Somehow, the idea of their family being a little bigger than two had stopped being the scariest thing ever.  In fact, it had…kind of started to grow on her.  A lot.

It had taken a few years for her to be sure that feeling wasn’t going to change, wasn’t just some whim or some emotional reaction to losing Rhory for real or to watching tragedy hit Gendry’s family (her family too, but her family was Gendry first and foremost, and his family more by extension really, especially what with the whole telling Dare the only reason she hadn’t killed her was because Gendry loved her thing back when she’d thought Gendry was gone forever…in-laws were complicated…) or to some…whatever, like ticking biological clock or something.  Which given she looked fucking good for being almost twenty, in fact hadn’t really aged a day since she hit what, seven or eight or something?  Her biological “reproduce while you still caaaaan!” urges had never exactly existed.  So no.  It wasn’t that.  And it wasn’t until she was sure – really, really sure – that she casually dropped the k-word in conversation.  Just to see what would happen.  

He’d doubled down and used the plural form.  Kids.  And it hadn’t even terrified her.  Who the hell was she these days, anyhow?  It had taken a few more casual mentions of the possibility before she was quite ready to actually talk about the idea, but it had seemed like he was basically in the same place.  They’d always been good like that.  Well no, not always.  But they’d grown a lot since they were two, and she secretly thought maybe he was just too stubborn to acknowledge that he’d been crazy about her all along.  In an obtuse teenage boy kind of way.  Eh, she liked him stubborn anyhow.

Either way, the time had felt right.  She’d just…known, just looking into mismatched eyes that had haunted her from the first time she’d seen them, that this time?  This time he didn’t need to work any of his mysterious healer birth control magic that once upon a time she would’ve been too scared to touch him without, this time of year anyhow.  This time the idea that the fire between them could spread and kindle a whole new someone that was part him and part her and all family was part of what made her ache, made her belly clench and her breath catch and sent liquid heat radiating through her whole body.

And now?  Now she was a little bit terrified, because who wouldn’t be when huge life changes loomed on the horizon.  But she was still grinning like an idiot, feeling all warm and fuzzy and holy shit excited because they might have made a…a baby.  They wouldn’t know right away, wouldn’t know for a little bit yet, but maybe.  Just maybe.  Some weird little combination of the two of them could be sparking to life and settling in inside her, growing tendrils into her uterus like a ravenous little parasite ready to take over her body for what would probably feel like forever oh god wait what were they thinking?  She was going to be huge and waddly and have to pee all the fucking time because her bladder would be under constant pressure from the ever-expanding mass inside her body that wouldn’t let up ‘til it tore its way out some of her favorite body parts, probably leaving horrible devastation in its wake because that hole was meant for fun sexy times, not for squeezing out elephant-sized babies and Gendry was a fucking giant and she was, well, not a giant, and—.

Nope.  Breathe.  Gendry would be there for her the whole time.  He would keep her safe, and if shoving a whole new giant mini-Gendry out her lady parts DID tear them up he would fix it, and when the scary part was over they would have a little boy with his eyes and his cocky smirk and his heart, or a little girl with her sass and her stompiness.  He’d be a dad.  She’d be a mom.  And she’d be a goddamn amazing mom, so much better than any of the people she’d ever called mom had been.  She’d be there for her kid.  She would make so damn sure that her baby knew how much she loved it, knew she’d do anything for it.  That she’d bring the world to its knees if it so much as hurt her baby’s feelings.  There wouldn’t be a kid in the whole of Beqanna who was loved more ferociously than this maybe baby would be by its mom, and by its dad.  And holy shit, Gendry was going to be amazing at being a dad.

She cuddled into him, rubbing her face against the hard plane of his shoulder with a content little sigh.  And she hoped, like she’d never hoped before.  She would be the best goddamn mom ever, starting right now.  Hello little maybe-baby.  I’m…I’m your mom.  I’ll be your home for a while, if you’re ready to exist.  I’ll keep you safe and warm, and give you everything you need to grow big and strong.  Well, not too big, okay?  There’s only so big I can get.  Everything you need to grow reasonably-sized and strong.  You can do big a little later.  Point is, it’s safe in there, and we’ll make damn sure it’s safe out here too.  So…so if you’re ready, we’re ready too.  I love you.

Arrya.