06-07-2019, 10:31 PM
He doesn’t think she is real.
She isn’t sure when that finally clicks into place. Something in the way he looks at her, perhaps, like he could pass through her the same way the wind does. Like he is looking at her, but not at her. It makes her want to break down, and the sudden surge of anguish that builds in her chest like a wave nearly drowns her. She hasn’t felt anything for years, and now, suddenly, every emotion is running rampant. The extreme high of first seeing him was followed too quickly by the crashing feeling of realizing he truly thought her to be gone. And maybe apart of her feels like she should have kept it that way. He would eventually disappear, and he would go with the notion of just leaving behind a ghost, melancholy but accepting that she had never actually been there. A bittersweet memory of something that had once existed.
And she, she would be left to dissolve into dust, and maybe this time, he really would be leaving a ghost.
“Of course I’ll stay,” she says to him, and she wonders if he can feel the way her voice aches. Every word stings across her heart, because even feeling the way she does, she would never tell him no. She also could not deny the selfish feeling of want and need, and caving into it, she completely closes the gap between them.
The feel of his head against her shoulder melts her, and she rests her forehead beneath the arch of his neck. “How do I convince you that I’m real?” Her lips are against the slope of his shoulder, tracing the curves and ripple of muscle, and wondering how she has survived so many years without this, without him. The warmth of her breath fans across his storm-gray skin, and when her chest presses into his own, she cannot comprehend how he can’t feel the way her heart beats so hard and loud, so very much alive, and so completely still his. “Tell me what to do, Jarris, and I’ll do it.”
P L U M E R I A
when all of the light is gone
a single spark is all I need.
She isn’t sure when that finally clicks into place. Something in the way he looks at her, perhaps, like he could pass through her the same way the wind does. Like he is looking at her, but not at her. It makes her want to break down, and the sudden surge of anguish that builds in her chest like a wave nearly drowns her. She hasn’t felt anything for years, and now, suddenly, every emotion is running rampant. The extreme high of first seeing him was followed too quickly by the crashing feeling of realizing he truly thought her to be gone. And maybe apart of her feels like she should have kept it that way. He would eventually disappear, and he would go with the notion of just leaving behind a ghost, melancholy but accepting that she had never actually been there. A bittersweet memory of something that had once existed.
And she, she would be left to dissolve into dust, and maybe this time, he really would be leaving a ghost.
“Of course I’ll stay,” she says to him, and she wonders if he can feel the way her voice aches. Every word stings across her heart, because even feeling the way she does, she would never tell him no. She also could not deny the selfish feeling of want and need, and caving into it, she completely closes the gap between them.
The feel of his head against her shoulder melts her, and she rests her forehead beneath the arch of his neck. “How do I convince you that I’m real?” Her lips are against the slope of his shoulder, tracing the curves and ripple of muscle, and wondering how she has survived so many years without this, without him. The warmth of her breath fans across his storm-gray skin, and when her chest presses into his own, she cannot comprehend how he can’t feel the way her heart beats so hard and loud, so very much alive, and so completely still his. “Tell me what to do, Jarris, and I’ll do it.”
when all of the light is gone
a single spark is all I need.