[private] in the dark, you burn brighter; elaina

[lilliana]

You are a coward.

The thought has echoed within her head, resonated in the deepest caverns of her mind and has only grown louder and louder in the few months since she has come to Beqanna. She is not brave. She is the foolish, silly girl that so many dismiss her of being. Lilli, with those laughing blue eyes and her head in the clouds, is so easily dismissed as being too childish in her mannerisms and her thoughts. There has been a part of Lilli that has liked that facade because if she is do easily dismissed, it is so much harder to be disappointed in the characters that come and go in her life so easily. They can leave and Lilli can forgive them with a child's grace because she has none of the emotional baggage that comes along with getting older.

Coward.

Coward.

The voice has only chanted louder, demanding her to acknowledge the fact that she has known all along. She can smile and laugh, be the girl she has always been, but there is something there that wasn’t broken before. There is something dark and angry that she keeps buried, that she keeps pushing away because to acknowledge it is not something she knows how to do. The guilt is always there. There are days that she can keep it so far from her that Lilli can pretend it doesn’t exist. She pushes it so far away, adds layer upon layer until she thinks that she has finally conquered it. She can finally lay it to rest and find some peace, find some way to absolve herself of the sins that she has been coated in.

Lilli has never know regret. She has known disappointment but that has been kept at bay. Disappointment can be acknowledged and the crimson girl knows how to move on from that. The disappoints she has known have been slight in comparison to others and she uses that to not dwell on them. If anything, Lilli can take those disappointments and use them to paint an even brighter picture. She has known a few homes in a few years but her family has always been together. They clung to each other and persevered, kept moving forward when it might have been easier to let the loss of an ancestral home consume them. She has seen her mother, regal and fierce in her determination to provide for her family, fight and protect to secure a place for them. And she had seen that same mare become gentle and coaxing, easing the darkest parts of her sire when the ghosts of war had plagued him. She watched how together they balanced the other, became stronger and how that love not only sustained them but a family and a kingdom as well.

Here in the outskirts of Pangea, alone among the maples and the commanding mountains, Lilli chases the last remnants she has of those memories.

Beqanna had been home to her mother once. Aletta had seen the land divided and decided that the home of her ancestors wasn’t the place that she was looking for. In a twist of fate, the daughter is here instead. She knows that Pangea is one of the ancient places and Lilli can’t but wonder that perhaps, perhaps that might be some magic still here. There might be a remnant of the places her distant kin once knew, a part of the Dale or the other places they might have called home. In the memory of her parents, Lilli has set out to discover the last fragments of her family that she has left.

Coward, the thought echoes to her again, letting her know that she is not alone in the silence of the night. She is never alone. Aletta, Valerio, her siblings, Elena, Orani, they are kept as close to her heart as they have ever been and in a place that she is so unfamiliar with, she has turned them over and over again in her mind, going from memory to memory where she can repeat the words of her mother, father, cousin line for line and knows every outcome. She clutches them to her heart and Lilli sends a fervent prayer out into the night, hoping that wherever they are, they are happy. Coward, comes the voice again, taunting and cruel.

It breaks the memories and strips her bare of the protection they offer. It leaves her exposed and raw, resurrecting the guilt and loss, the very things she has fought so hard to hide.

There was a time when Lilli had fire. She has stared down the Winter King and even in the dark of the night, undead Underworld hadn’t scared her. She had been bold once, a lifetime ago. But the regret and the guilt have broken Lilliana in some way, taking something from her. It has changed her, the very thing she had been so afraid of. In the shadows, the maples all look the same. They loom in the shadows and she can feel her heart race, the pulse comes alive and quickens. Perhaps it is the stories of old magic, of Carnage but the crimson girl starts to see shapes in the darkness. The silence suddenly becomes unbearable, the atmosphere shifting into something eerie and expectant.

There was something out there waiting for her.

Hyaline might not seem so daunting under sunlight but drowning in the darkness of a new moon, Lilli walks faster. And upon deciding this was a bad idea, perhaps one of the worst she has ever considered, she turns. She is ready to run, to flee and never come to this forsaken place. Her mind reels with ghosts and evils, the terror coming in the form of night and pushes against her chestnut frame. It threatens to swallow her, to dissolve her into nothing and oblivion. She runs, runs and runs with all the speed she can muster. She is almost blind with the fear until a scent comes drifting down the wind. A sweet, familiar scent that is engraved on her heart. A smell that Lilli could discern among a million others even in a land as wild and as vast as this one.

Coward, the voice comes again, encouraging her to keep running.

But something inside the chestnut girl shifts and Lilli stops, letting the smell of sweat and fear surround her. For the first time in months, something outweighs the dismay, something is stronger than the dread. She knows that scent and Lilli goes against everything in her that tells her to run, goes the opposite way. The mare goes back through the trees, pausing where she needs to and then continuing follows it, follows it through the dark and the emptiness and against everything that tells her this is impossible. Lilli knows that this is most likely a trick of the mind, one of Beqanna’s fickle gods playing a trick on her or perhaps it is her desperate hope, blinding her to the rational. But she has to know.

The steps become determined and the scent, though changed and different, is still the same at heart. It is wild and bold, a shining light in the dark. And there in the dark, resting is the golden form of a mare that Lilli knows. It is her best friend, her cousin, her sister. Now the dark does push against Lilli and it terrifies her. There is a split second where she thinks it is a trick of the senses, of her aching heart wanting nothing more than to be reunited with Elena, her flame in the darkness. Somehow she closes the distance between them, the feeling in her feet gone replaced solely with the feeling of air and grace, of want and urgency and longing.

Coward, the voice comes fainter now, quieted the presence of perhaps the only one who could convince Lilliana otherwise. Her vision blurs then and Elena becomes a tangle of gold and shadow, of the trees of Hyaline and the night around them. ”Elena,” she chokes, the words somehow finding their way out. How she is here, Lilli doesn’t know. But as they have always been, Lilli is just grateful that she is somehow here.

@[Elaina] i caved

[Elaina]

I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me A cool spring breeze whirls its was through the trees of their home, causing branches overhead to rattle against one another as emerald leaves rustle subtly with the moving currents that carried it with the exciting variety of scents that filled the little riverside valley they called home in such a way that it was neither overwhelming or so faint that it was nonexistent. She could smell the fresh water that constantly changes and flows as it makes its way through the valley where her grandmother had been born. Where Royal Legacy, her great grandfather had ruled with a gentle, but firm hand. And then there was that calming, pure scent that Elaina so associated to Murmuring Rivers that even now when she smelled it the golden girl was immediately transported back. That scent could only be identified as the sweet lavender that grew rampant in the fields. The sights, sounds, and smells that could only be associated with Murmuring Rivers. She moves along at a brisk trot along one of the many trails that her own grandmother once frolicked along that wound and weaved through the tall grasses and aspen trees that encircled the open field of the ancient realm that her blood ran deep within. She catches the sweet and enticing smell of wild raspberries that grew along the water’s edge that sometimes she snack on when Marcelo and Ori were not looking (but, lets be honest, Ori typically joined her in this snacking endeavor.) She pauses a time or two, nose lowered to the ground as lanky golden limbs adorned with a touch of a white sock on each carry her off the trail for a moment only for her to reappear and continue on her own pleasant way. Some would think maybe she was looking for the honeysuckle Marcelo had told her about, but the task at hand was certainly not flower searching. She was hunting. Golden ears twitch and flitter about the top of her head amidst growing locks of cumulus, sunlight warming her sunflower skin in light as it cascaded down, enlighten the ancient lands. Eyes of amber, so much like her father’s, look around every tree, in every shadow cast, and when she spots a bush nearby that seems to be rustling, there is a pause in her forward stride and a silly little grin tugs at the corner of her ash dusted lips. She stands there on the path for a moment, watching the bush with an intensity as though if she stared long enough it might just wave at her. Suddenly, it moves and this time she can just barely make out the smallest, faintest note of laughter. She is hardly able to restrain a chiming giggle yet somehow manages, and suddenly she lunges forward. “Gotcha!” She squeals in a high pitched, girlish voice. She laughs as she collides with a crimson form, playfully reaching out to nip at red strands of her hair. Quickly, she untangles herself from her cousin before pivoting on her heels and playfully taunting her. “Last one to the river has to kiss a fish!” She yells before leaping forward into a wild gallop. The afternoon of the youngest residents of Murmuring Rivers far from over. Their joyous laughter, a sign of their already deep friendship, the afternoon Frostbane had cornered them only plaguing the back of their minds, fills the valley. The day is beautiful. Lilli and Elaina need only each other to keep it so. Probably, if Elaina had not been orphaned, she would wouldn't be much different, her life wouldn't have strayed so far from when she was born. The same way that Lady Macbeth was not quite so sane before she began to hallucinate hands dripping with the blood of the murdered. She would still have been bold and brazen, stubborn beyond belief, imagining this world held secret corners made only for her and her alone. Elaina has been swept up by the tides of politics and swallowed whole with trying to performs the demands of her station. She listens to Kensa and what the others have to say of the lands, learning the ropes and all she can to become the little politician she was destined to become. She likes the weight the responsibilities offer her, it keeps her from becoming restless and worried, brooding over shadows looming in the background, her guilt of leaving. Golden amber eyes watch the forest birds— plain, but striking all the same, glossy black and sleek grays— they peer from their perches with burnished black gem eyes, curios and jabbering they called to the mare-child while she walked down the pathway, a spring in her step as surely as spring had sprung. The green grass beneath her feet yielding to the strumming of her steps. Woven from sunshine and cumulus clouds against the blue skin, as golden as the sunflowers that lift skyward from the ground. With such a mind thrumming with guilt and happiness, Elaina is still gaining her footing in Hyaline. She was no goddess or romancing siren— eyes gleaming with stories and the taste of unfolded adventures on her tongue— but she was just a mortal in this land of those greater than herself. Perhaps it was all in vain than, her attempts to create a life here, but Elaina, steadfast in her determination, she believes she can do it. “Home,” she whispered, slowing to a declining walk until she drew to a standstill, repeating and letting the word settle in her own mind as if saying it constantly would make it truer faster and keep her thoughts (and heart) from wandering elsewhere. “Home,” she says once more with a strong, affirming tone with a smile, wide and winsome, and a tumbling laughter voice. The blonde tests her ability to discern her surroundings, under the new moon she feels blind, tripping over random tree roots that find their way to the surface, but she wants to know this land like the back of her hand. Already she knows so many familiar sights, sounds, and scents— That was different. No. It was entirely all too familiar. Like a magnetic pull, they each draw nearer to the other. She isn't even sure if she is walking at this point, she think she must be floating because she can no longerr feel her feet upon the ground. And then she is there, in front of her, saying her name on her tongue. “Lilli.” The sound breathes into the space between them just as the chestnut reaches her and the palomino closes the gap. For a moment Elaina just stares at her cousin, the soft surprise in her expression interminably with relief and joviality. And then she folds into her, letting herself melt into the warmth of her crimson hide and sighing as though she were small and young and vulnerable for in the embrace of her cousin she is no diplomat, no politician. She is simply Elaina. Then she steps back, just enough to meet her icy blue gaze, head tilting a little so that blonde forelock tumbles into her eyes. “I’m so happy to see you,” she tells her, a cliche thing to say, even if she hadn't needed to say it at all, for it is written so clearly across her face. The birds of the land tweet overhead, a coyote howls in the distance. Perhaps they sensed the emotions that thrummed between the girls and felt it their duty to celebrate. “How are you?” It is such a simple question, but it is what she has always loved most about being with her. With Lilli, everything was made simple again. elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

She can still remember the day that Elena ended up on the outskirts of Murmuring Rivers. It had been the same day that Lilli learned what an orphan was. Aletta’s stride had been full of purpose and yet there was still patience there, just slow enough to allow her long-legged daughter to find her stride. The version Lilli had been given had been toned down. She knew nothing of Beylani’s illness or the tragic circumstances of Benjamin’s demise. All they had told her was that the little golden child had no parents. And to Lilli who only had a mother, it had seemed the saddest fate in the world. She can remember thinking that when she finally met the sunshine child, she would offer to share Aletta with her.

Little girls cannot be without a mother.
If only it had been that simple.

When they had finally brought Elena into Murmuring Rivers with steady Marcelo leading the way, Lilli had stood back, peering at the palomino from beside her roaning older brother. She had expected someone so small and after everything she had been through, Lilli had thought to offer her comfort and friendship, shelter from the storm that had been raging. Instead, Elena had been so proud, a defiant tilt to her chin, in her bearing as if she was daring the fates to take something else from her. Lilli had been awed by her. She can remember her standing so still, her little form refusing to shake or give way to everything she had experienced – from the loss of her parents to the journey alone to Beyond. It was so much for one so small to endure and yet Elena had done it.

It had been the start of a relationship where Elena would persevere and Lilli would be inspired, taking courage from her cousin and trying to find her own brave way in the world.

Their relationship hadn’t been instantaneous, much to Lilli’s dismay. Elena had walls and barriers, as any one naturally would in the face of loss, that Lilli didn’t understand. It had taken what had felt like eons before Elena finally smiled at Lilli, finally acquiesced to a game of hide and seek and when she finally started offering her own secrets in response to Lilli’s own. It had been a shy, almost tentative bond at the start and as the months and years went by, as the experiences that would either define or break them happened, the bond became as unbreakable as steel, forged in the flame of time. When Frostbane had come to claim Elaina, Lilli was able to find her courage because her golden cousin was with her. When a new home would come and go, Lilli could adapt because Elena was always beside her. No matter how tumultuous the world might become, it was bearable because Elena was always there, always there with a ready grin and that daring spark in those amber eyes, ready to revive Lilli from whatever ills might have plagued her.

Lilli’s world was a much better place because Elena was in it.

Perhaps that has been the source of her problems now. So much has changed and Elena’s blazing courage, whatever little Lilli had kept with her, was almost ready to be extinguished. She is tired and alone, hurting and grieving and still dealing with all the emotions that come in the aftermath of situations that no one can find a reason for. Even though Lilli has been forging new relationships, trying to move forward and find a place for herself in Beqanna’s extensive lands, she has been learning that the past travels with you whether you exist in Culloden or the Falls or common lands here. She has been carrying this guilt, this grief and it has refused to lessen its grip on her no matter how hard she fights against it. The burden of it has been a heavy, exhausting burden and there has been no supporting shoulder for Lilli to lean on. There has been no flame to light her way.

It is the longing for her family that has driven her to Hyaline. She has it heard it rumored that Pangea is part of the old lands, an old haunt of that fearsome god Carnage. That alone should scare her enough to avoid it but Lilli finds a shred a hope, a small ribbon of it still dancing within her crimson chest that thinks if she can find a part of the Dale, of any of the places that her ancestors had called home, then she can find some kind of acceptance of everything that has happened. It’s an absurd and fantastical thing for her to cling to but cling to it she does.

In the emptiness of the night, Pangea and her new moon only prey on Lilli’s fears. The fear of the dark is something she has never outgrown, Frostbane and Underworld and all the other evils she has been afraid lurk in the shadows. Alone in these woods, the threat becomes as real to her as the day that they had found Frostbane smirking in the river, of Underworld creeping in the depth of shadows. And whats worse is that she doesn’t know Hyaline’s woods, isn’t familiar with any part of this land. It only emphasizes the panic and leaves her blind in the dark, fills her with the wild frenzy of fear.

In the recesses of her mind, on the edges where rational thinking and logic are so hard to find, she thinks that the scent of Elena is impossible. There is no way that her beloved cousin could be here. It’s a coping mechanism, that flight part of her wanting something so desperately that she can conjure the image of Elena and call her here. But somehow the apparition speaks and she is warm, solid beneath Lilli’s wanting touch. ”Elena," she says again though the words are strangled, are full of disbelief and longing and ache. She has missed the shock on Elena’s lovely face because her face is so quickly buried into her cousin's golden neck. It is solid and whole, as real as the night is terrifying to Lilliana. ”How are you real?” she whispers.

The warmth of Elena hits her like a summer storm. She is oh so wonderfully real beneath her touch. Lilli can feel the beating of her heart, can feel her chest rise and fall with the same frantic pace as her own. She doesn’t want to pull away from her cousin. There is a part of her that could stay there forever, feeling safe and complete for the first time in months. When she does find the strength to pull away and look at her cousin, shock and joy are mingled on every corner of Lilli’s face. Blue eyes find amber in the dark, finding wonder even in the cover of night. The questions build in her chest, build up with like a bubbling brook. ”What are you doing here?” she asks and almost immediately, Lilli wants to pull her cousin to her again. ”What are you doing in Pangea?” The thought seems ludicrous that all the places she would see Elena again would be here. And despite the night and its terrors, despite everything that Lilli has struggled against, the crimson girl smiles. ”It is so good to see you.” She tries to appraise Elena, her blue eyes seeking out Elena’s eagerly under the void of the new moon.

How are you, she asks. And Lilli, unable to find an answer, stands stunned, groping for reason in the empty night. There is nothing to explain how they have been reunited, save for the grace of fates and divine beings. ”I think I’m okay now,” she says, almost without thinking, admitting all and nothing in the same breath. ”Tell me everything,” she says, not missing a beat. ”How are you?”

@[Elaina]

[Elaina]

I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me That tiny baby muzzle had been lowered to the earth. She stops, halting the walk she was taking with her parents, before her mother got sick, before her father got sad. She flicked her tail to the side and stared at an old withered plant that had been crushed by the cold and frost. Pouting slightly she stared at the dead creature, her lush, vibrant amber eyes taking it in deeply like a fresh breath of air. “Isn’t it sad?” She says, but there is not note of a pout on that young, little face. She is speaking, but it sounds as if it were to no one in particular. “Everything dies you know…” she says, a lesson she had learned from her grandmother, but a concept she still could not quite grasp, as if it were still just out of reach for that innocent little mind of hers. “Do you think I will end up withered like that plant? Lying forgotten in some ditch where only the dreamers can find me?” Bringing her face up she blinked at her parents who stood dumbfounded, but only once. A solemn expression daunted her face, whiskered lips pulled into a straight line. Then with no spring in her step, she turned her attention back to navigating through their nature walk. Strange, that little girl with such a bright smile, it was like she already knew the fate that awaited them, her, everyone. She has been on far too many journeys in her young life and Elaina has found that she craves some sort of stability, aches for roots to grow from her feet and into the ground. She had an opportunity, in Woodlands, but as she watered and tended the tree she wished grow, she found no roots were able to imbed themselves, it had felt wrong. There had been times when Elaina had been so carefree, planting seeds and whispering wishes to set those roots down deep into the ground, but she has found it so much harder now. The day they traveled to Paraiso, she had thought, perhaps, perhaps that was the day that she would find the solid ground she so desired, rest from the constant waves and current that pushed her in so many different directions she wasn't sure which way she had come from to begin with. But this land, the moment those hooves reached down upon the end of the trail, she had felt that same familiarity and comfort she had not experienced since Windskeep, her birth land. But here, she could breathe, she felt the familiar spirits of her parents cascade along beside her, even if they could not be there in the flesh. This was what she needed. But then that was ripped away from her too, tumbled off into the mist like a broken kite flying off a string. Hyaline. A land of mountains, a lake, it was stunningly familiar, but there was something different about it. She no longer felt like a little girl, first the lost one in Murmuring Rivers, wiping her tears so no one saw and screaming inside her head until she couldn't hear herself crying anymore. She wasn't the curious filly of Paraiso, learning about her parents and following Lovelace around like a lost puppy while she dreamed of Aerwir’s brown eyes and dark skin. Neither was she Elaina of Woodlands, standing beside a stallion she couldn't truly love no matter how hard she tried. She was not the confused girl of Culloden. It was different this time. Hyaline was different. Kensa was different. Elaina was different. She had just her own two feet to stand on, a role to perform, and a service to offer. Hyaline could be home, it could be. They say when you stop looking the thing you lost tends to turn up. Well, Elaina fooled them all because she would never have stopped looking for her. Not in a thousand years. Not in a million. “Lilli,” she says, she is like a broken record, but her cousin’s name is sweet perfection on her lips, as if that is the name, above so many others, that has always belonged there. She can smell the sweat, the fear, the uncertainty wafting off her crimson skin like smoke from a signal fire. Elaina pulls away, amber eyes searching the planes of her red face for something, antyhing, a hint as to what had happened to her. Those muscles bunch beneath her golden coat. Elaina had so often disregarded her own safety, ever the daring child, but when it came to Lilli, she wanted to ensure her well being. “You aren't hurt are you? You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” she says and envelopes her once more. And maybe, in a way, Elaina was a ghost, she has died from the hurt and risen from the ashes of her grief so many times she no longer walks the earth but floats above its floor. How is she real? She shakes her head. “I just am,” she says, an answer with a finality that says Elaina can hardly explain it either. That was the best answer she had, as unsatisfactory as it was. It is then Lilli pulls away now and stares up at her with expressions that mirror Elaina’s own. Did she really think Elaina would not follow her? Would not return for her? Elaina’s heart was not complete without Lilli, she had been more of a soulmate than Aerwir had ever been, and she could not bare to live without her. Without knowing she was safe and happy. Starlight is the only thing that illuminates them. Her eyes of fire are only the cooled by the ice in Lilli’s own and everything is as it once was and was supposed to be. “Well, I—I live here now, I guess, with Kensa, Hyaline’s leader,” she says, the words fall from her lips and Elaina feels like she is telling Lilli about someone else’s life, because right now she feels like that little girl inventing adventures besides Paraiso’s lake. Her best friend braiding flowers into her hair (always with the expression that these would totally bring out her eyes.) She suddenly squeals then, high pitched and full of girlish excitement. “I cant believe you are here!” She says, practical prancing on the spot she stands. But she halts when she notices the stunned shadow pass over her friend’s face. “Did something happen? You left Beyond,” she says, an obvious statement, but Elaina could bite her tongue on the subject no longer. They have so much to catch up on, that much is clear. “Well I went to Windskeep, i saw your sister, and Roland, they have a kid! Can you believe it?” She says in shock, for if anyone knew Brielle. “My grandma, she’s amazing, still kicking, of course,” she says with a soft natured sigh. “And Windskeep, it’s almost rebuilt, and it is beautiful, Lilli, stunning actually,” she says. There was no denying the ancient land she had been born in. It was something special, something to behold. “And you? What have you been up to? I’m surprised you have stayed,” she says then, watching Lilli’s face carefully. “Have you—have you met someone?” No, these girls really don't miss a beat, do they? elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

Elaina says her name again, her name sounding so familiar and comforting from her cousin's mouth. Elaina has said her name a thousand times; through midnight whispers to youthful games. They have said each other's names a thousand times and upon hearing Elaina say it again, Lilli could hear it a thousand times more. She could never get tired of it. Her heart is close to bursting, is bursting, with the joy and the happiness and the relief she feels at seeing her sunshine cousin. Elaina has always been a beacon hope in the darkness, has always been a torch to light her way and it is no different now. Whether they are in Beyond or Beqanna, whether they are facing Underworld or teasing Alvaro, they are together and there is nothing that completes Lilli more than her golden cousin. The months hit her suddenly, a tsunami of emotion washing over Lilli and all she can do is feel everything. 

You look like you've seen a ghost, Elaina says and Lilli laughs, the midnight spell broken. "What would you call yourself then?" And though the laughter is warm, though Lilli is smiling, there is something that flashes across her eyes. She had never expected to see Elaina again. What she had expected for the future... well, Lilli didn't know. She had just known that she had to leave. But here is Elaina, bright in the darkness, glowing on a night when there is no moon and Lilli still can't escape the shock of seeing her beloved cousin again. Her best friend. Her sister. She had thought that she had closed a chapter on her life and here was Elaina, ready to start over again with Lilli. If she had only known.. and yet, how hadn't she have known? Elaina had the beauty of being one of the most stubborn horses she has ever known (this includes her mother and father) and there is a part of Lilli that isn't surprised at all, that murmurs in the back of her mind 'are you really so shocked?'

And even when Lilli's mind tries to reach for a reason, she smiles. Elaina has always defied logic.

Overwhelmed by emotion, she moves forward. Her chiseled face reaches towards Elaina's until their foreheads touch, one lightly pressing against the other. Lilli lingers thing letting the feel of her cousin wash over her, letting the smell fill her soul and letting the darkest parts of her finally illuminate. It has been so long since she has embraced anyone, been embraced by anyone that sensation immediately gives way to comfort and security. She closes her eyes and just lets herself stay there, wrapped up in everything that Elaina is and at the moment that they find themselves. Elaina doesn't know how afraid Lilli has been, how hard she has tried to be brave in the face of change. She has felt so lost, more so than she has ever been. And to find her cousin now consoles Lilli in a way that she didn't know she needed, how desperately she needed. 

Elaina is the answer to a fervent plea, a prayer wrapped up in a canvas of beautiful gold.

She breathes gently and stares into the amber eyes that look back at her. Finding strength and peace, she fulls away from Elaina. Her scent still lingers in her nostrils, on her skin, in the air around them. 

It is Lilli's turn to be slightly confused. "Kensa?" she asks, her head tilting ever so slightly. Her eyes look away from Elaina to the abyss around them, trying to make out the Hyaline that she speaks of. It all looks like shadow and darkness to the chestnut girl. "I don't know it," she replies, still feeling new and infantile by Beqanna standards. Ir feels like a foolish thing to say as she stands in Hyaline now. It had all been Pangea to her, a place of the old gods and magic. She dismisses the night around then and by the time her blue eyes return to Elaina, she grins. It lights up her face, banishing any doubt or concern Lilli might have originally had. Her cousin's question, however, makes the smile falter and allows the shadows of night to come calling. "I'm sorry," she murmurs quietly and somehow Lilli still finds the bravery to meet her cousin's questioning gaze. "You were gone," she replies, stating another obvious fact. "Malachi was taking his family to Ethos and Mother was waiting for Father.. I just wanted a change. I needed something different.. after everything that happened," comes the quiet admission.

His name hangs unspoken between them and Lilli can't bring herself to say it though she feels his presence even here.

And then she is so grateful for Elaina. There are so many things to speak of and she feeds the girl every piece of news she has longed for since she has left home. The spell is broken and Broch is gone. In his place is an earnest expression, Lilli wanting to know everything Elaina has seen and everywhere she has been. "Bri? And Roland?" she almost squeals this, so delighted to hear that her early guesses about Brynn's eldest son and her older sister were correct. "They have a child?" That comes as a surprise, perhaps as big as Elaina's presence here. She laughs and smiles wistfully, nodding as her cousin continues to talk. "I believe it. If she's anything like you, it wouldn't be shocking at all." There is a longing then and part of her wishes she had gone to Windskeep. She wishes she could see the place where so many members of her family dwell, to know the place that so many of them gave their lives for. The place that her father almost died for.

The yearning grows for a moment and Lilli thinks that someday, she will go to Windskeep. Someday.

The chestnut tosses her head playfully, sending crimson locks cascading down her slender neck. "What haven't I been up to?"she smiles teasingly. "And I've met a few someones. There's been Neverwhere and Brazen and Bane and Pond and a few others," Lilli retorts. But all teasing aside, she softens. "I've been living in a place called Taiga. It's in a place called Nerine. It has a lot of trees but it isn't all that bad," she adds, hopefully painting enough of a picture that Elaina doesn't worry. When the moment quiets and peace finally replaces the excitement, Lilli circles around the backside of her cousin and slides along next to her, gold melting into auburn. In the serenity of night, under a blanket of stars, Lilli looks up to them and can't help but smile. She feels beholden to those stars and Lilli has no idea what she might offer them at that moment. Blue eyes glance back to her cousin, happy and content to simply rest beside her. "And what about you?" she murmurs. "What trouble have you been stirring? I hope you're not already leading some poor soul on a merry dance," she laughs, memories of days gone by flashing before her.

Part of her wonders if she should ask about Aerwir. But if Elaina is here and he is not then that particular issue never got solved. She decides to say nothing, to simply stand shoulder to shoulder under a summer sky and finally find the peace, tranquility, love that she has been so badly needing with the one she has always counted on, who always came when Lilli needed her most.

@[Elaina]

[Elaina]

I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me Arriving in Hyaline had been difficult. Not because Kensa had been unwelcoming, but it was the first time Elaina felt like she as truly never returning back to her family. There had been a calm, bright glow that surrounded Elaina, swirling colors in a rush of memories before her eyes, tangible and smiling, Lilli, Alvaro, Marcelo, Ori…she could almost feel them as their faces pressed into hers desperately, searching so hard for the part of her they lost. A single tear had slid down her face (she would allow no more to fall), the ache in her heart too deep, a silence had wrapped around her, nothing but Elaina’s only breathing and her heartbeat. She left so much behind back there, in Beyond, the place of family and love, the place she had lived most of her life after her parents had died. But eventually, something had given and she had reached the end of some road, and even her beloved Aerwir could not hold Elaina where she stood, so broken and writhing for escape, for anything, but that land and the sameness of it! She could see Lilli, fiery red and bright-eyed as she looks to Elaina, her heart shining ten time brighter than her own, and she can see grumbling Alvaro and the smiles she would break from him. Marcelo and the trauma his father’s death caused him, Ori and the playful smile she always gave Elaina. They stand next to her like true figures, but she had quickly drawn their images back into herself and with a final sign, she had moved towards this new life, dropping off pieces of her old ones, like candy in the woods. Just in case she needed to find her way back home. Their names have grown and changed, even if they still sounded the same. From shy introductions upon first meetings, to playful games through the field of lavender. From midnight sleepovers when they thought Aletta or Lovelace would not hear them whispering late in the night to heartfelt conversations about homesickness and a heart’s desire. And now, it is spoken in such relief, as if she had been holding her breath with the name on her tongue since setting foot in Beqanna and it is finally expelled from her lungs. She can breathe. Her laugh is beautiful, the same as it has always been, even if their lives have gone on paths that may produce less and less laughter as time continues to drag onwards. “I would like to think myself a mythical spirit, neither dead nor alive. Here to guide you on your way, oh Lilli, the red haired, loveliest of ye ole legacy clan,” she says, her voice growing deep and ominous, always willing to see set the mood. Though it hardly holds before her own laughter tumbles forth. She would always find Lilli. Her chestnut cousin should know this, should remember this from all those days of hide and seek in the deep valley of Paraiso. When Elaina would find her with quickness and ease, able to locate her in the strangest of place. Elaina will always find you, Lilli, you never have to worry or fear. Here, with her cousin’s face just a mere inches away from her own, here Elaina feels strong, she feels like she can do this, accomplish anything because she has Lilli beside her. Lilli has always been the thing to make Elaina brave, and fearless, it was knowing Elaina was in Beyond, waiting to see if she would come back from Windskeep that Elaina was able to stand at the edge of her parents’ graves and not weep, but feel a sense of peace. When she returned to find no Lilliana waiting for her, she knew she had to leave, to find her courage, packaged in red, with eyes like a summer’s sky. But what is the blue sky without the bright amber sun to make it glow and shine? These girls, they needed each other. “Parts of it, it reminds me of Windskeep, silly enough,” she says, because Elaina doesn't know why she looks for her brith home in every direction she turns. She dismisses it with an almost cold hand, as if trying to forget that part of herself. As if she can. Not while Lilli sits her smiling at her in all her beauty, and Elaina finds she wouldn't want to forget it all, not if it would mean forgetting her chestnut butterfly. “Dont be sorry,” her response to reflex, she would never expect Lilli to apologize to her. They never wished or intended harm on either, not in their entire lives, and Elaina knows Lilli would do nothing to hurt her. Not even leaving. After all, Elaina had left first. “Valerio,” she says then. “Has he not come back?” She asks, amber eyes peering into Lilli’s own, asking about the father that Elaina thought, at time, that she knew better than the chestnut girl. Valerio had been her godfather, a valiant war hero, but to Lilli, he was a father. It was a carefully precise balancing act, and sometimes, the golden girl thinks, maybe, Valerio had drifted too far to one side, at the cost of his daughter. And she doesn't care speak his name, hoping she would cause no further ache to her best friend. Her squeal is met eagerly by Elaina’s own, laughing and talking like distance and time have never separated them. In some way though, had it every really and truly? “Yes, a little girl! She is so feisty Lilli, she would give Liam a run for his money,” she says now. Talk turns to Aesop, a weakness for Elaina, her immortal grandmother, full of wisdom and beauty. She had been the hardest to leave that day. “I think it hurts, sometimes, to see me,” she says, uncertain. “And to know her own daughter is buried in the ground,” she finishes. It is such a rarity for Elaina to speak of her parents. It echoes for just a moment. She offers a light hearted laugh in response to Lilli’s words. “You’ve been busy it would seem,” she says. A true social butterfly, just like the nicknames they had for each other so long ago. “It sounds nice, and with you there, I am sure it will be a pleasant place to live. What made you decide to go there?” She questions. When Lilli mets her side, Elaina closes bright eyes of fire for a moment, content with the nearness and warmth that only her best friend can provide. When she opens them, she seems to miraculously follow blue eyes up the stars. It is an achingly familiar tradition, one she had shared with her parents from the time she could toddle on long, spidery legs. She wants to cry, but Lilli saves her, bringing Elaina laughter and joy instead. “I have met a few, but I don't think I should get tangled into any—affairs. I think I want to focus on this, on becoming a politician. Do you think that’s silly?” She asks, because of everyone’s opinions, their thoughts, their advice. Oh, it is Lilli’s that soars above them all. Elaina knows that her crimson cousin could guide her where she is needed. elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

Lilli stands before Elaina, still mystified. That smile quirks, coming lopsided as it so often does when she feels at ease when she can be herself. ”Ye old Legacy clan?” She laughs then, a pretty bright thing in Hyaline’s darkness. ”You sound like Jay now,” she replies, thinking of her wise and all-knowing older brother. ”Where, oh mythical spirit, are you guiding me?” Lilli grins at her cousin, inviting and hoping for another jesting reply. As her blue eyes continue to absorb Elaina’s lovely golden form, Lilli can’t help but feel grateful she is here. The crimson girl has tried and struggled to find her way, to find herself again here and Elaina serves as a reminder of who she once was, of who she could be again.

The little chestnut filly from Murmuring Rivers was a long way from the sheltered borders of the land she had been born to. Elaina comes as a beacon in the darkness.

Elaina laughs and to Lilli, it is the most beautiful sound in the world. It echoes within in the recesses of her ears, lights her soul and banishes the pain that has been festering within her like an infection. When the laughter dies and the night quiets again, her blue eyes lock with Elaina’s amber ones and love is so bright within her own, shining out into in the darkness. Of all the things Lilli has needed these past few months, Elaina is the one to absolve her of all her fears and worries, to ease her sorrow and to make her laugh again. Divinities, gods, fates, whatever has a hand in this thanked with each soft and peaceful breath that comes from the young chestnut mare.

Lilli studies her cousin and then looks out into the darkness again, her gaze searching for shapes and formations in the shadows. She wonders what about Hyaline reminds Elaina of Windskeep. And the thought comes again that she should see the land of her ancestors, the place that her father lingered so long in. Was he there now? Had Elaina seen him on her most recent journey? Unable to discern anything but trees, she turns her attention back to her palomino cousin. The fresh scent of running water, the sweet scent of cherry wood settles itself on Lilli’s nostrils and she wonders what this place must look like in the hours of daylight. Perhaps Pangea isn’t entirely a wasteland like she has heard.

”No,” comes Lilli’s gentle reply. ”I had been staying in the Common Lands.. down by the River because it reminded me of where I was born. I found a corner just like our favorite bend,” she smiles then, wistful in memory.

Elaina tells her to not be sorry but there is a part of Lilli that feels like a part of this is her fault. If she had just been more patient, if she had just waited then the two of them.. could have what? Waited in Beyond? What would they have waited for? Malachi to make a decision? For Valerio to return? For Broch? She turns her head then, inclines it gently and touches her cousin's lovely cheek lightly. There is still a touch of apology there, something that Lilli refuses to let herself wash completely clean of. It is an apology for everything – for Aerwir, for the months that followed, for not being there when Elaina returned.
She says her father's name and Lilli pauses then, her expression giving way to sadness. ”No,” she whispers in a way that gives admission to the pain and worry. ”You know how Mama is though.. she refuses to leave without him.” Lilli has a hard time saying those words and they threaten to break apart. It brings her last memory of her silver mother to mind, Aletta looking so resolute on her mountain. It had been the last place that Valerio had been with her and her mother had been so determined that she be there when he came for her as the gray woman so absolutely believed he would.

Lilli prayed that he would, that he already had. If anyone deserved a fairy tale ending, it had been her parents. ”They are supposed to explore the world together,” she murmurs.

Her features brighten at her cousin’s next words, the smile spreading and Lilli finds herself laughing again. ”Is it really so shocking? Can you see Bri with a son?” Her eyes crinkle at the corners then as she imagines her creamy sister with this feisty daughter, thinking that Brielle deserved nothing less. The mention of Liam only incites further laughter and bubbles out into the summer night around them, drowning out any song that the crickets or frogs might otherwise offer. The laughter dims again and Lilli reaches for her cousin’s neck, another reaffirming touch as Elaina expresses her thoughts. Lilli finds herself at a loss at what to say, at what kind of consolation she could give in Elaina’s circumstance.

The loss of a parent, of both parents, is something that the inner child might never overcome. It would always be a scar that Elaina would always have, a burden she would always carry. Lilli glances to her cousin then, hoping to convey the love and the notion that Elaina wouldn’t have to carry that burden alone. Lilli would shoulder it with her.

The conversation moves forward and Elaina’s question of why she chose to go to Taiga brings an image of a certain palomino stallion to mind. She banishes that, another improbability and something else that just further confuses her. She shrugs then, turning her gaze from her cousin just in case that the golden mare might be able to see the flicker of uncertainty that comes. ”It seems nice,” she says vaguely. ”Quiet in a way that reminds me of home.” She searches for something out in the darkness just long enough to hope that Elaina might become distracted with her, the pair of them looking for something that doesn’t exist. Her gaze turns to the stars, standing alone with her thoughts but whole with Elaina beside her.

Lilli takes her blue eyes from the stars then and turns her head slightly inward to Elaina so she can fully meet her gaze. ”Not at all,” she affirms, whispering the words solemnly below the stars ethereal gaze. The crimson girl understands this completely and she studies Elaina, she thinks that the golden mare with her directness and her intensity had the potential to be a great politician. ”I think you’d be a wonderful politician and that whatever realm you represented would be lucky to have you on their side.”

@[Elaina]

[Elaina]

I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me There was a steady beating of her heart, rhythmically within her golden breast at the nearness they stood, knowing she was no longer alone, staring out at each other. They know there are things they have lost. She wonders if Lilli thinks the same thing she does, what will become of those that they have left behind, what had happened that there were others that had come into their lives and been gone so quickly: Brynn, Benji, Beylani, Valerio (not gone but never here). Like the way a falcon’s talons pierce the flesh of a rabbit, grief and sorrow were suffocating, longing and missing everyone. In the end, there were really only two options... Dwell on the loss and refuse to move on, or recognize the heavy loss and try to keep on moving, to remains steadfast in courage and faith and move forwards. Hoping that there lay grandeur in the future. Life was never meant to be easy after all. But with Lilli in her life, Elaina felt at least she could handle what may come. “Thy eldest clan in all the land,” she says, slipping into the old timey voice attempting to mimic the elders they had known in Paraiso and Murmuring Rivers. It is a poor attempt with her youthful chime, but an attempt made to make her friend smile all the same. “I don't think I could ever sound both as young and as wise as Jay,” she laughs. The boy had been intelligent and compassionate for his age, a year older than Elaina and Lilli, but around Orani, she saw all of that slip away and he became a silly boy. “I can guide you Lilliana, but only you can make your path,” she says in that mystical voice once more. Those amber eyes that peer out from dark lashes though say that her words are the truth. She could not tell Lilli to travel north, but only point out to her which star it was in the sky. Lilli is the plea Elaina has asked for, a desperate cry to not entirely erase her past, but to hold onto something good that she pulls out from under her pillow every night before slipping into slumber.  She feels steadier here, stronger, in the close proximity of the one person that knows her better than anyone, that knows her better than her own parents. Elaina had come to the realization that she had known her chestnut cousin longer than she had known either her mother or her father. The thought makes jagged scars in her heart, but Lilli is there, with smiles and familial hugs to patch them up as quickly as they appear. The night is quiet, but it far from lonely. Her heart aches to breathe Lilli in once more to ensure she is real, to never leave the comfort her embrace provides. Elaina has known love. Has known the love of her parents, of grandparents, of uncles and aunts. She has known the love of a mate, and the lust of another. But, what Lilli gives her, this unconditional type  of love and affection, Elaina is not sure she will ever find someone quite like her cousin. “Wow, Murmuring Rivers, yeah, I remember that bend,” she says. Elaina and Lilli were always so similar, even now, it can be seen in the ways they gravitate towards things that are familiar, comfortable. “A lot has happened since then, I sometimes wonder what Marcelo and Ori are up to,” she says with a smile. A natural feeling, Marcelo had held a hand in raising Elaina and Ori and she had been nearly as close as sisters. Caught in the throes of adolescence without their parents to guide them. “When I got back Lilli, I just…couldnt anymore. Seeing your mom, seeing Aerwir, I knew I couldn't stay. That either I would have to return to Windskeep or go some where new, anything but the sameness of that place,” she admits. “When I found out you had left, I don't know, I felt maybe, happy? It was the push I needed,” she says honestly. Elaina admired Aletta’s loyalty to Valerio and she nodded in response. “Duty so often comes before love,” she says and it is heartbreaking, because she has pulled the same stunts. And often, when love is put first, Elaina knows how that ends too. She visited the very grave of the man who put the love for his daughter before himself. “And maybe one day, they will,” she says, but Elaina’s heart, it is as uncertain as the breeze. “Remember when Liam farted on her?” Elaina begins laughing uncontrollably at the memory. Liam was always a rambunctious child and a great reprieve from all the stoic faces she so often saw. “Yes, I don't think Brielle would do well with a son,” she adds. Brielle, in a lot of ways, had become the big sister to Elaina that she never had. She would spar if the golden girl asked, never saying that was only for boys. She was quick to offer advice before storming off after Roland. Elaina wishes the best for them, they needed it, both of them. Lilli’s touch is light, but the golden sunflower child leans into it, so comforted by her presence, Elaina feels the peace only Lilli can bring her. In a way, Elaina’s growth has forever been stifled. Her adult self takes little Elaina by the hand, apologizing over and over again for the pain she was going to endure. How she needed to soak in every kiss, every embrace, every smile from her parents. Listen to every word and play them over and over again so she wont forget their voices. Savor the smell of when she sleeps between them, so that she can still sometimes, even after they are gone, will smell that linger scent when she awakens: alone. To take in every fun time, every memory with them so when her heart feels heavy and the ache is deep in her bones, she will turn away from that dark place in her mind that she has clawed her way out of before, but just barely. “I think we could both use some quiet,” she says and laughs. “We have had far too many complications, I think it would be nice, to live a life, without anymore of them,” she says and smiles. But Elaina hardly knows what has settled in Lilli’s heart for a palomino stallion, nor does she see her own future, buries down her body, her heart wrenching and reaching for the affection she desperately craves, but refuses to believe she actually needs. “I would settle for quiet any day.” A pause. She looks to the stars as she listens to Lilli’s voice touch her ears like the hum of bees and summertime. “Lilli, you’re my best friend, you know that right?” elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl

@[lilliana]

[lilliana]

Why does everything else have to be so hard? Wrapped beneath their midnight blanket, with the air clean and crisp with Autumn coming, the thought comes so clearly to Lilli. Everything else around them has been so complicated and jagged, sharp corners threatening with serrated edges ready to rip her open. It catches in her throat then - grief, loss, exhaustion, confusion - and Lilliana feels so tired. She can feel it want to rise, the emotions begging Lilli to give them life but even now she refuses.

She peers at her cousin from underneath her forelock and Lilli wonders if Elaina knew how much she admired her. Surely by now, she must know. But since the time they were fillies, Lilliana has wanted nothing more than to be like her fire cousin. She has wanted to be brave, to be bold, to be able to greet each dawn with that determined face of courage. Even more so, Elaina had the power to heal what was broken. The first memories are hazy but Lilli can remember watching with amazement as the palomino had sewn sinew and skin, had made a foalhood injury disappear under her (then) limited knowledge of Legado's gift. 

She had thought that maybe like Elaina, she might find a way to mend what was broken.

Lilli did not know anything about healing. She had no skill in wielding power like that even the help of the Falls. But the seed had planted in her mind that maybe she could help smooth the rough corners of others, that she might find a way to help ease and soothe the souls of others. She has tried so hard: Aletta and the way she closed herself off completely, refusing to let the world know how broken her heart was. Elaina who had so many scars of her own and Lilli tried to ease them with words, with actions, with whatever she could do to let her cousin know that in their little home, she was beloved. She tried it with Orani, another little girl hurting from an absent father. She tried with Malachi and Brielle and Jay and all of them. 

She had worked so hard to mend, to weave the aching parts into something else entirely. Lilli, for as much as she buries her hurts, had tried to make the broken hearts and the grief and the pain of others into something beautiful. To let them know that they are beautiful and that whatever they think is broken only makes them strong.

How ironic is it hat the girl who has wanted to save everybody else can't save herself?

This moment between them is achingly easy, so simple and beautiful in a way that nothing else is in Lilli's world. The ease that they come together only highlights that fact so blatantly. "Oh mystical being," she teases before she presses her head into the curve of Elaina's lovely neck. "I have the navigational abilities of a rock. Any path I take is bound to lead me to a dead end." Her breath comes warm and she smiles, giving it as an offering to her cousin. Elaina makes her feel whole, takes those ragged corners that she tries so hard to conceal and makes them soft, more forgiving. She exhales and pulls away, allowing the cold air to slip between them again.

"I loved that bend," she whispers, remembering wildflowers and the sound of laughing water. It was a memory from a past life. Her face warms and softens at the mention of their cousins and Lilli hopes that wherever they are, they have managed to find some happiness. "I'm sure they're all together in Paraiso." Her smile quirks, "And I'm sure that Alvaro is the ball of sunshine he has always been." She misses her eldest brother, his serious thoughts and his sage words. She misses his bright smile, a reward that never came often enough.

Her expression changes, the smile fades and she looks to Elaina. It isn't a sympathetic look but one of complete understanding. If anyone understands that feeling, it would be Elaina and Lilli. "I know," she adds, almost sadly and gives the golden mare a similar answer to the one she gave Wolfbane. "It was insanity. I couldn't do it anymore. I just saw all my days passing by, doing the same thing, waiting... waiting for what?" she asks rhetorically, the reply the closest the crimson mare will come to bitterness. There is an angle to her jaw, a steeliness to her blue eyes that make her a mirror of her warrior father at that moment. "Duty before love," she whispers. "What a price it demands, Elaina. How do they pay it?"

The night envelops Lilli again and she huddles closer to her cousin, letting her familiar form melt and meld with Elaina's. The two of them fit together as they always have: from awkward adolescent angles to the soft, rounded curves they now carried. Lilli closes the space where the chilly air had once been and basks in the warmth of her cousin. Her gaze is speculative and the chestnut mare is uncharacteristically melancholy at that moment, all the talk of her parents and what wasn't and what should have been still lingering in the front of her mind.

She exhales gently though she doesn't look to Elaina. Whatever has gripped itself around Lilli's heart is released into the air around them and the chestnut mare thinks. An ear flicks and then Lilli manages to look at Elaina, love illuminating every corner of her face. "You think so?" A quiet life could be well warranted after everything they have been through. Life beneath the solace of the Redwoods could be what she has been seeking. The question lingers between them and the more that Lilli contemplates it, the more tempting that peace sounds. 

The chestnut softens and glances sidelong at her cousin, that familiar impish smile mixed with affection and tenderness. "Really? I didn't know that," she teases as she gently presses her shoulder into Elaina's, feeling secure and whole beside her. And for a minute, the teasing facade falls replaced only by her genuine concern that her cousin knows how important she is. "Your mine too. I couldn't do this without you, Elaina. I'd be lost without you."

@[Elaina]

[Elaina]

I can remember a time when I was so afraid when even my shadow wouldn't follow me She knows this now, she knows it and she hates to admit it. They had been silly, foolish, naive, ignorant, simple children. There, sitting in the grass staring up at the clouds making meaningful shapes from meaningless tufts of white against a cerulean sky. They had thought themselves so untouchable, that danger could never brush its wretched hand against their soft, young, supple skin. Each of them so believed that they were safe within the walls of their valley home. Tragedy, it had already reached each of the girls, and that had to have been enough, in their lives, there had to be no more. They had held hands and whispered secrets in each other’s ears, shared a handshake meant only for the other, daisy chains strewn up in the valley. Nothing could touch them, the orphan girl and the child from a family torn apart by war. They were free. They had been so wrong, just neither of them had been able to see it. Blinded by the sound of thundering falls, the smell of fresh pine, and the feeling of grass tickling against their crimson and gold skin. And Elaina knows now, even as she stands with Lilli, how easy it is to slide those rose tinted glasses once more over her eyes. The cruelty of life, of her past, of her future, she grows blind to it all in the sight of the red haired cousin before her. How easy it is to slip into that childhood role she so often played, the maiden that saved herself from the vicious dragon, the one who could conquer mountains and tame wild beasts, and soothe aching hearts, if only she had her best friend beside her. She is reminded of all of this, the sunflower child. Lilli’s presence causes the growing politician, Hyaline member, to become that little girl in Paraiso that asked if Lilli if she thought they would best friends forever. The answer was yes, always yes, and Elaina knows this to be true. It is so beautiful, having her beside her once more. She should have known better than to give up on finding her, for Lilli and Elaina always came together in the end. They were more than two perfectly fitting puzzle pieces, or two halves of the same whole, they were entirely one. She laughs, a laugh she shares with Lilli and Lilli alone,  as she speaks. It was true, the crimson girl had often had difficulties navigating, but Elaina hardly considered this a weakness. When she pulls away those eyes of amber meet glacial blue. “It’s because you blaze the path,” she says with a note of seriousness in her voice towards her cousin. “If the plants could talk in that bend,” she says with a note of laughing lilting on her tongue. The secrets they had shared then, the important promises they had made (joint weddings, friends forever, their kids would be best friends just as they were.) “Did you ever think of going back there? Paraiso?” She asks. There had been the option, they were legacy children, if anyone could find Paraiso in the mists, it would be them, Legado would guide them, of that Elaina was certain. “I miss them, all of them,” she says, imagining all of their faces. “It feels like some place far away, not a place we actually lived and breathed,” she says, thinking, dreaming, out loud to an ear she always knows will listen to her words, no matter how ridiculous they sound. She knows the feeling Lilli voices. In the end, of all these thing, they had outgrown Beyond, or maybe, Beyond had outgrown them. “Waiting,” she begins, looking to Lilli with something that has been broken and never quite fixed in the way it was before in her eyes, “can be the hardest thing.” Elaina does not miss how much Lilli looks like Valerio, the godfather that had sworn to protect her and his family (a promise that, in the end, he should have never given.) “It is not easy, I imagine,” she says, dropping her gaze for a moment. “What would you choose?” She then suddenly asks. Her crimson cousin should be used to this by now, Elaina always asked those bold, daring question, but with the warm confidence of her mother that allowed anyone to answer what they wish. There was no judgment in the shine to her amber eyes, or the tilt of her head. “If you had to Lilli, what would you choose? Duty? Or love?” It is not so easily answered, this Elaina knows. But she asks it all the same. Because Elaina is Elaina and she never changes. As always, from the time they were children, the golden girl is so grateful to the presence the crimson mare provides her. To have had another to grow up with, to face similar struggles, to place their hands within the others and promise for an eternity to love each other and all their beauty and their flaws. Not many have such a thing in their lives. She breathes, because with Lilli here is all feels so much easier. She knows this is a lie, something she tells herself, but for now, tonight, Elaina is content to be fooled into thinking it. Tomorrow, with the light of morning, it will return to its hardened state and Elaina will be left to climb another mountain threatening to block her path to who only knows where. They laugh, because they know their lives are going to be anything but quiet. Oh, how they like to think so. “I fear we will never get to be as boring as we may wish,” she says jokingly. “I will have to come visit you in Taiga,” she offers before speaking again, knowing this land held many trees within its grasp. “Do you think, you could find a spot for us, like in Paraiso?” She asks then, trying to catch Lilli’s eyes to let them memories of those times flow through each of them. Memories that have snuggled close to Elaina’s heart and have been there to fill even the smallest corner’s of her life with happiness even when all she wanted to do was cry her heart out. Her lips pull into a smile at Lilli’s humor, something she never tired of. “I think that’s why we have each other, we cant be lost when we are together,” she says, looking up then at the stars. “It’s impossible.” elaina* benjamin and beylani's sunflower-girl

@[lilliana]