and underneath the layers, I find myself asking what's left
a hollowed out form, the skeleton of a ghost, the pitiful echo of what once was
Life has slowly retrogressed, from being controlled by his heart to primal instincts. Over time, love no longer mattered as much as possession. Politics slipped from his palms and escalated into a perception of territoriality, nothing more.
Castile craved the power of his draconic self, assuming it would complement him in the best of ways, but it chiseled away at him instead. Everything that he was – kind to his friends and family, tender toward his loved ones – crumbled with every hit of a hammer. The sound of his voice receded while the one that haunted him as a boy – his alter self – strengthened.
(We are better this way)
As his consciousness slips beneath the waves, barely able to tread water anymore, Castile latches onto this final opportunity to reach for the Mountain. The flight is turbulent and brims with conflict inside his own mind.
(We are better this way)
I can’t anymore… Not like this… I’m not in control.
The thunderous buffeting of his wings breaks the silence at this altitude as he swiftly alights on the familiar platform where he last saw the Wysteria Fairy. ”Honey, I’m home,” he announces, leaking a small sense of humor amid the chaos wreaking havoc through him.
(We must leave)
No.
Rock breaks away underneath his claws as they curl to anchor himself. His proud head lifts high, but then his neck handsomely arches as he looks across his mountainous surroundings until the fairy arrives. Without any small talk, Castile dives into the matter with hardly more than a deep breath.
”I’ve learned how destructive I am in this body as I lose myself more,” his wings, now folded to his sides, shuffle uncomfortably as he dives into oceanic depths of his thoughts and experiences. ”My true self – my equine self – provides the emotions to keep my other self in check. With it having been stripped in the last couple months, I’ve been far more deadly and reckless. I betrayed someone I loved – love – and have potentially ruined any future with her. Had I not caved into lust, it would have been fine. Had I empathy, then I wouldn’t have turned it against her – she didn’t deserve that. I was in the wrong, not her. Like this, I have far too much pride and need for control and possession; I lack empathy and understanding.
I destroyed an entire island. I felt nothing of anguish until I stopped and gained control of myself to realize remorse. My memories were manipulated to feel the island had wronged me, and my instinct was to simply destroy.
I care more about myself in this body, when I have no control. I truly am a monster, but at least when I had more control and the ability to shift back and forth, I could tame that precarious half of me. The predicaments I put myself into prior to your quest were just due to the fickleness and faults of my own heart, not the creature that I am.” It takes so much to admit this, to see what he has become and what he has done to his own life. Rolling his powerful shoulders in a shrug, he eases into a conclusion as his eyes fall to the ground. ”I’ve learned more than most in twenty years. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve been an idiot, but I’ve also done great things. Dynamic, ever changing, ever learning. Isn’t that life? I’ve realized my mistakes and the repercussions they cause. Truthfully, at one point, I wanted you to take out my heart, but then I realized how much I actually need it, especially when my other half is so volatile, dangerous, and primal. I still want to be able to love, despite my failures.”
Castile heavily sighs, flickering his gaze to the fairy’s eyes. ”Congratulations. You’ve humbled the great beast of Beqanna. I’ve just always wanted to be powerful, and to remain unique, especially as a couple more dragons appeared on the horizon.” There’s a contemplative pause as he shuffles his wings ad shifts his weight. ”With great power comes great responsibility. I’ll keep myself in check.”
castile
