11-20-2019, 02:42 PM
Emotion clamors for attention behind her beast bone, her heart pounding viciously. That seems so wrong for her heart to be thundering when it feels as though it should be laying shattered beneath his hooves. Not enough not enough not enough, that's all it says, over and over until her head spins with the mantra.
And he seemed so clueless, so utterly unaware. That she felt anything deeper than friendship seemed to have taken him by surprise, when she felt that her own deeper feelings had been sitting beneath translucent skin, for anyone to see. He had taken her innocence and her heart all at once, and now she felt herself reeling at the loss. His stammered apology falls on ears that can hardly process the words, that can't make sense of what he's trying to apologize for.
The sky toned stallion pressed close at her bidding, and she wished his kisses were enough to erase the tears still streaming from her. Little drops of the sea, it felt like, the salt a reminder of who she was when nothing else made sense.
She is hurting, cut to the depths of her soul, and yet she hated to see anything like pain in his beautiful eyes. If only she could lose herself in his kisses as she has before. There is something tickling at the back of her mind, the knowledge of why he can't love her. There's someone else. His heart isn't his to give because it's already been given, and not to her.
The selfish piece of her mind wants to not care, to take what he offers and to try and let it be enough. To be happy with what she was given because it was all she would get. But that was not love. She could bear her feelings for him if they stayed inside, she could bear touch and physical affection if there was no deep emotion behind it. But to have both with Pteron, and to have it all mean nothing to him. That she couldn't stand.
His touch was soft and full of regret, and she let him do it because it helped him. At the last kiss, she pulled away, tears drying on the scales of her cheeks but no longer being replaced by fresh ones. Her head shook, and the words she knew needed saying sat heavy on her tongue. "Please. Please don't say that, Pteron. If I'm not the one for you... Please don't offer me the rope to hang myself by. You love someone else. They are the luckiest horse alive, and I dearly hope they know that."
Her girlish dreams, half born, lay in fragments all around her. She had shared her heart and felt his words like a cruel consolation prize in return. They'd gone too far, hadn't they? Too far to get back to the way they'd been before the winter had seen them together. She had felt special, adored. Now all that remained was a sickening sense of being used, and that he was regretting using up a favorite toy.
She stepped a little deeper into the suddenly turbulent water, wanting nothing more than to dive beneath the waves and lick her wounds. But she couldn't leave things the way they were. It would be a cruelty she found too harsh to inflict. "I am thankful, that I got even a piece of you. Your friendship has been a treasure to me." The cool water embraced her as she swayed lightly in its hold. The ocean wouldn't let her drown.
"Whoever holds your heart? I hope they've given you theirs in turn. This is not a feeling I would wish on anyone. You least of all." She smiled joylessly. The day that had started with such promise now felt drained of any beauty it had held. Stormclouds seemed more fitting to her mood.
@[Pteron]
And he seemed so clueless, so utterly unaware. That she felt anything deeper than friendship seemed to have taken him by surprise, when she felt that her own deeper feelings had been sitting beneath translucent skin, for anyone to see. He had taken her innocence and her heart all at once, and now she felt herself reeling at the loss. His stammered apology falls on ears that can hardly process the words, that can't make sense of what he's trying to apologize for.
The sky toned stallion pressed close at her bidding, and she wished his kisses were enough to erase the tears still streaming from her. Little drops of the sea, it felt like, the salt a reminder of who she was when nothing else made sense.
She is hurting, cut to the depths of her soul, and yet she hated to see anything like pain in his beautiful eyes. If only she could lose herself in his kisses as she has before. There is something tickling at the back of her mind, the knowledge of why he can't love her. There's someone else. His heart isn't his to give because it's already been given, and not to her.
The selfish piece of her mind wants to not care, to take what he offers and to try and let it be enough. To be happy with what she was given because it was all she would get. But that was not love. She could bear her feelings for him if they stayed inside, she could bear touch and physical affection if there was no deep emotion behind it. But to have both with Pteron, and to have it all mean nothing to him. That she couldn't stand.
His touch was soft and full of regret, and she let him do it because it helped him. At the last kiss, she pulled away, tears drying on the scales of her cheeks but no longer being replaced by fresh ones. Her head shook, and the words she knew needed saying sat heavy on her tongue. "Please. Please don't say that, Pteron. If I'm not the one for you... Please don't offer me the rope to hang myself by. You love someone else. They are the luckiest horse alive, and I dearly hope they know that."
Her girlish dreams, half born, lay in fragments all around her. She had shared her heart and felt his words like a cruel consolation prize in return. They'd gone too far, hadn't they? Too far to get back to the way they'd been before the winter had seen them together. She had felt special, adored. Now all that remained was a sickening sense of being used, and that he was regretting using up a favorite toy.
She stepped a little deeper into the suddenly turbulent water, wanting nothing more than to dive beneath the waves and lick her wounds. But she couldn't leave things the way they were. It would be a cruelty she found too harsh to inflict. "I am thankful, that I got even a piece of you. Your friendship has been a treasure to me." The cool water embraced her as she swayed lightly in its hold. The ocean wouldn't let her drown.
"Whoever holds your heart? I hope they've given you theirs in turn. This is not a feeling I would wish on anyone. You least of all." She smiled joylessly. The day that had started with such promise now felt drained of any beauty it had held. Stormclouds seemed more fitting to her mood.
@[Pteron]