my heart never stops beating for you; birthing

[Lea]

For the first time ever, her life is quiet.

In her previous life, she’d almost never had a moment to herself.  As a small child, she’d been dragged all across Beqanna by her fool of a mother, seeking out a father that had little interested in the both of them.  As a yearling, she had been dumped on the Dalean throne by that same mother, who’d been looking to curry favour with that same father.  Everyone had expected her to fail.  But she hadn’t.

Over the space of fourteen years, she had brought the Dale out of the slow, silent death it had been dying, and had turned it back into a bright and thriving kingdom.  She had recruited, made alliances, found love, had children.  She’d suffered losses, been subject to abuse, and witnessed terrible things.  She had spent every single waking moment striving for the betterment of the kingdom.

And in the end, what had it brought her?  Death.  Death, and the eventual destruction of many of her children’s lives.

But now in her second life, there is no throne to sit, no kingdom to run.  She is simply an ordinary mare, living out her days in a kingdom where she can never hold any importance.  And it brings her peace.

She spends her days either by herself or with Errant, exploring the frozen kingdom and enjoying the quiet that the lack of responsibility brings.  She is no one now.  But she is happy.  And soon, she will be adding another little life to their family. 

It’s early morning when the labour pains strike.  She’s been through this before, so she doesn’t panic and simply takes herself to a quiet corner of the Tundra (a little cave that she had scoped out many days before).  The birth is easy and quick, and in under an hour, a little damp bundle is lying on the earthen cave floor.  As she’s done so many times before, she rushes to clean off the little black figure, humming happily as she works.  How could she have ever wanted more than this?

A laugh escapes her when she realizes the gender of the child - a girl!  Another girl!  Six girls, out of seven children.  She can’t wait to see Errant’s face.  Chuckling, she reaches down to nuzzle the girl’s face.  “Hello beautiful.”  She nudges at the filly, trying to encourage her to try stand so that she can feed.  “I think I’ll call you Xiah.”

lea

my heart never stops beating for you

I have permission from Cassi to post this early, as I will be away during birthing season, and will have difficulty posting.  Official birth day is still technically the same.

[Xiah]

snow falls white on the mountain tonight; not a footprint to be seen.
a kingdom of isolation, and it looks like i'm the queen

For the first time ever, her life tumbles into the light.

It’s strange, at first. Entirely new. And cold, she decides, for one of the few concepts she understood was warmth. The end of her nose crinkles, a small white snip distorting at the movement. Blinking madly, the small bundle attempts to understand just what this new sense entails; before, blackness consumed her tiny life. Now? Everything burns into her storm-grey eyes, especially the cave opening where soft sunlight is filtered in through the clouds.

She crinkles her nose again, entirely displeased at this sudden turn of events. “Achoo!” The itty bitty sneeze courses through her small onyx body, though more due to the fact that the noise was all too loud for her small existence than because of the sneeze itself.

Shaking softly, a warm, wet something attaches itself to her. And then unattached itself. And repeat. Sniveling weakly, the ebony child twists fruitlessly in an attempt to see her assailant. When her neck complains at the weight of her head, she flops down onto the cool cavern floor, the snip at the bottom of her tiny face twitching with a sniff.

“Hello beautiful.” A familiar voice says, the same voice as the hummer. Xiah, she thinks she’ll call you. You? She frowns, perplexed, though makes no move to raise herself off the flattened stone. I’m you. Yes. Xiah. Me… You? Of course my dear, you are Xiah, and you make an enormous amount of sense. She sniffs pitifully again.

And then the thing nudges her! Xiah launches herself towards the large black object, pausing just in the right spot to balance precariously on her sloppily folded knees before misjudging her equilibrium and tumbling on to her other side. She snorts, as though the gravitational forces of this world are entirely obscene; she could float in Mother! Here? She had to work.

Perhaps if she had known the Lea from before, Xiah might have realised just how hard she would have to work to achieve something admirable… Now, she simply needed to live up to Lea’s happiness.

“Mother? Cold!”

Xiah

[Errant]

Though he had never shared his concerns with Lea, Errant had been worried.

Childbirth is not an easy thing even for a healthy young mare, and not so long ago Lea had been the very opposite of healthy – she had been dead. Errant might have meddled a bit more than he had in the past (clover isn’t usually so abundant and the sun so warm), but he has always operated by the mantra that what others don’t know won’t hurt them. At least when what they don’t know is done in their best interest.

So when Lea disappears to give birth, Errant paces outside the cave. It is not his place to be beside her (that would belong to a mother, sister, or older daughter, and none of those are here in the Tundra) but he waits anxiously until they emerge.

He peers into the darkness where he can see two figures. One is his Lea and the other must be their youngest child. It’s a girl, he hears, and Lea has named her Xiah. The girl says she is cold and Errant does as any good parent would, and heats the cave to a comfortable temperature. Not quite warm – because she needs to learn to live in the world outside her mother – but at least not as cold.

“She’s beautiful,” he tells Lea, and then lowers his head so that he will be at eye level for the filly, whenever she manages to make her way toward him. “Hello Xiah. I’m your dad.”

[Lea]

She'd known his concerns, even though he'd never voiced them.

Errant's never been the most open sort with his feelings, but he's never been all that good at hiding them either. Not from her anyway. After being with him for 30 years (she counts the dead years - he'd stayed faithful even then) and having seven kids with him, she's grown to know the stallion pretty damn well.

And really, she can't blame him for being worried. If she'd lost him for 12 years, only to have him brought back by some random stroke of magic, she'd be pretty worried about his health too. She'd be terrified of losing him again.

So she's said nothing, pretending to not notice the unseasonably warm weather. She appreciates the gesture anyhow - she'd experienced the Tundra winter once while bringing Ianto and Aena here, and she's not overly eager to do it again. And it'll at least make their latest child's introduction to the Tundra softer, give them more time to adjust.

As it is, the air is still much chillier than it must have been inside her womb. Little Xiah stands, falls over, and looks up with a plaintive comment about the temperature. Lea's heart melts, but before she has the chance to lie down with the girl and attempt to warm her with her body heat, the temperature rises. Errant must be outside.

She smiles, looking to the cave mouth where a dark head is now peering in at them. He joins them and peers down at their newest little girl. As he introduces himself, she leans gently into his side. This - this is perfection. This is happiness.

[Xiah]

xiah

Almost immediately after her statement, the cave warms up. Pleased with this turn of fortune, Xiah finally makes another tempt to raise herself from the cool stone floor. With a dramatic exhale, the little bundle manages to get to her knees, and from there, straighten her forelegs. Wobbling precariously, Xiah frowns in deep concentration. In two jolting movements, her hind legs snap into rigid straightness.

Beaming, the girl stumbles awkwardly towards the newcomer. He speaks to her soothingly, and she immediately recognizes the man’s voice; he and Mother were never far apart during the pregnancy. Whinnying shrilly, Xiah trips over her spindly legs, managing to catch herself on Errant’s sturdy shoulder.

”Dad,” She tests out breathlessly. ”You’re beautiful too,” She says playfully, thinking herself clever for using such a large word that the adults used to describe her. Sniffling, Xiah rubs her snipped nose against the king, getting snot everywhere. Unintentionally, of course!

Attempting a few more steps, the child spots Mother leaning against Dad. Blinking with aghast, Xiah stumbles around the couple, bumping into Mother repeatedly. When her itty bitty head finds a crevice between their two back ends, she lowers her head like a bull and wriggles herself between them until their shoulders are all aligned. She sniffs again.

”Mmm. I like this.” The last three words come out in a distorted yawn, albeit adorable.  It won’t be long until the newest member of  the Learrant baby falls into her first true sleep, only to wake up later realizing how hungry she is.

You won't have any friends, and I'll live in a room
With flowers on the walls, and golden doorknobs