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  • Beqanna

    COTY

    Assailant -- Year 226

    QOTY

    "But the dream, the echo, slips from him as quickly as he had found it and as consciousness comes to him (a slap and not the gentle waves of oceanic tides), it dissolves entirely. His muscles relax as the cold claims him again, as the numbness sets in, and when his grey eyes open, there’s nothing but the faint after burn of a dream often trod and never remembered." --Brigade, written by Laura


    tonight will be the night that I will fall for you; Edmond
    #1
    @[Kyra] for you, whenver you have time. <3


    For the longest time, she was nothing. Nothing like her previous life, anyway. Faintly there was the existence of others, the familiar feel of spirits against hers, the knowledge that they were there. But she couldn’t speak to them or feel them against a corporeal form, simply because she didn’t have one. Perhaps she was a weak spirit – perhaps others could interact, could visit the plain of life, and could see each other. Neraza couldn’t.

    What she could do was watch what happened in life, and so she watched. Her children, his children (their children) were beautiful. They lived and they loved and she smiled inside. But not always. Later, they fought and they hurt and they died and a piece of her died again with each of them. With Bethanie, who could not recover from the injuries she sustained saving Nylee. With Sorenson, torn apart by monsters as he protected Alisdaire. With Alisdaire’s babies that never had a chance, though she’d named them (Bombay and Achara). With Alysanne and Nylee as they fall together from the height of the waterfall. But for every hurt there is a bright point – a grandchild, a great-grandchild, a friend with a smile and a hope.

    But watching is all she has – until the day that the world shakes again. There is light and dark and warm and cold and everything is wrong. But when it rights itself, the shaking ceasing and the noise fading, there is group beneath her feet. She is solid and warm and real – and she realizes that wherever she was before, this is a new place. A place filled with the dead – and the living. From afar, she watches Beth and Sorenson with the girl who is somehow realer than the rest of them. But though she longs to touch them, to talk to them, it is not them who the mare seeks first.

    She looks for him. Always him. The others can be later, if there is a later. But if this is to be taken, she must first find him. She cannot bear to be separated from him again.

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    #2

    He dreams of her, even in death. He had wasted too many years when they were alive, blind to the one thing he had always had, the only thing he had ever needed. But death is a strange place. No, not a place. It’s not a place at all, just a state of being. He’s vaguely aware there are others, but they do not exist as more than a prickle on his skin or the hair standing up on the back of his neck.
     
    He can see the living though, and if he cannot be with her, he will watch everything they had created and left behind. There is happiness and pain, and there’s a part of him that wishes he could have protected them from the pain. Barret, as he betrays their golden girl. Modred, when he leaves behind their wild child for the embrace of the ocean. Riagan, who finally comes back to Beqanna because the pain of leaving his sunshine behind is too much to bear.
     
    But they all had happy lives. They all had love. Children and grandchild and great grandchildren. Their dynasty may no longer rule, but their legacy will never be completely gone. And then one by one, their children leave the world as well. Alysanne and Nylee together, just as they came in to the world. Riagan with Rayelle by his side. Some disappeared too far from Beqanna to find, in the end. Conner and Zvezda. But they lived, and they loved. He knows that much.
     
    In the end, he couldn’t have wished a better life for any of them. Despite the pain. Despite the problems.
     
    Then the world changes. Maybe not the world, because he’s not really anywhere. But everything shakes and rattles and when it settles again, there is a world. The beach. But not quite the beach. He knows he’s dead, knows that this isn’t life. But still, he feels solid and alive and there’s Rhy, somewhere in the distance with oh. Riagan. He can’t interrupt that moment, and there’s another black stallion there as well to take care of her. He’s never met his electric granddaughter, and perhaps someday he will.
     
    But he has to find her. There’s been too much lost time already, and he will take every moment he can have with her. She’s looking for him too, and they collide as he wraps his neck around his tri-colored love. “Neraza,” he says, breathing out the word. He has breathed her name all his life, and feels so natural, so good, to finally say it aloud after all this time.  


    i'll love you in the morning
    when you're all strung out
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