02-24-2016, 02:34 PM
This was my first steal in literally years, so sorry it didn't go quite as smoothly as I would have hoped. :/
I'm not very good at this, so feedback would be appreciated!
I watched from up high, a smile curving my mouth as the warm glow from the houses in the bowl <b>[watched from up high, mountains, houses in the bowl - bowl shaped valley surrounded by mountains - The Valley]</b> flickered across my face; everything I loved was burning down and I had never felt so happy, the way their blood mingled with the mud made me feel quite sappy. 'They'll hang me for this,' <b>[Hang me for this - hanging, gallows - Gallows]</b> I thought, the smile growing wider still; I watched as the metal rooster fell and the barn collapsed, next was the old dairy mill <b>[old dairy mill - Fennick means dairy farm]</b>. I heard their screams, oh how they screamed, I relished in their tears; a boy whose name had no meaning <b>[if you look up the meaning for Rhonan, the name has no meaning]</b>, a pendant dangling from my neck <b>[if you google the name Rhonan, Rhonan pendants are on the first page]</b>, I stood up tall and bade goodbye to them all before I turned my back. I disappeared in the marsh <b>[Fennick also means "fen or marsh"]</b>, never to be seen or heard from again, though I often thought 'oh why not?' before I came to my senses--those people would string me up by the neck <b>[string me up by the neck, hanging, gallows - Gallows]</b>. No, I wouldn't go back to the corrie <b>[a corrie is a cirque - a half-open steep-sided hollow at the head of a valley or on a mountainside - The Valley]</b>; I left my troubles there, they've been dead for years, and I have never once been sorry.
Rhonan from Fennick and Gallows of the Valley (posted before Demian officially became King), for a quick friendly visit.
I'm not very good at this, so feedback would be appreciated!
I watched from up high, a smile curving my mouth as the warm glow from the houses in the bowl <b>[watched from up high, mountains, houses in the bowl - bowl shaped valley surrounded by mountains - The Valley]</b> flickered across my face; everything I loved was burning down and I had never felt so happy, the way their blood mingled with the mud made me feel quite sappy. 'They'll hang me for this,' <b>[Hang me for this - hanging, gallows - Gallows]</b> I thought, the smile growing wider still; I watched as the metal rooster fell and the barn collapsed, next was the old dairy mill <b>[old dairy mill - Fennick means dairy farm]</b>. I heard their screams, oh how they screamed, I relished in their tears; a boy whose name had no meaning <b>[if you look up the meaning for Rhonan, the name has no meaning]</b>, a pendant dangling from my neck <b>[if you google the name Rhonan, Rhonan pendants are on the first page]</b>, I stood up tall and bade goodbye to them all before I turned my back. I disappeared in the marsh <b>[Fennick also means "fen or marsh"]</b>, never to be seen or heard from again, though I often thought 'oh why not?' before I came to my senses--those people would string me up by the neck <b>[string me up by the neck, hanging, gallows - Gallows]</b>. No, I wouldn't go back to the corrie <b>[a corrie is a cirque - a half-open steep-sided hollow at the head of a valley or on a mountainside - The Valley]</b>; I left my troubles there, they've been dead for years, and I have never once been sorry.
Rhonan from Fennick and Gallows of the Valley (posted before Demian officially became King), for a quick friendly visit.
equus mutatio, immortality, disease manipulation, trait immunity