08-14-2016, 11:12 PM
The last thing in the world I expect is to be found. To hear the rough clatter of hooves on stone, or a quiet, tentative little “Hello?” Oh god I know that voice. I’d know it anywhere. I’ve heard it in my dreams for years, and every time I’ve woken up so goddamn happy...only to remember why it had been so long. Only to have that happiness shatter all around me and rain down in glittering shards at my feet..
This time…
God, I want to run to him. I want to drag my sorry self to my feet and throw myself at him and curl up in his embrace and just sob until I’ve cried out every drop of water in my body and I’m nothing more than a husk, then dissolve into dust and blow away in the wind. I can’t do that to him, though, not to my Lionheart. It’s too late to stay quiet, too late to stay hidden. I should never have come here, I just didn’t expect--“Rhory?”
And there’s endless agony in my voice, a depth of pain I’ve never heard before--no. No, that’s not quite true, is it? I’ve heard it in Gendry’s voice, in his family’s voices, grief so raw and new the sound of it grates at hearts that hear it, making even bystanders bleed and shake and weep for the soul who suffers so.
God, I’m such a fucking drama queen.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and my voice is still a jagged, broken thing, but at least it’s quieter now. “I shouldn’t have come. I just needed--but it doesn’t matter, I’m so sorry.” I can’t leave, not with him standing in the cave entrance. Can’t touch him, can’t hurt him like that, can’t fucking do anything right, I never have. I’m trying so damn hard to just breathe, but I choke on a sob and curl in on myself, shaking and trying to at least keep quiet.
I swallow hard and take a deep breath before trying again. “I just need a minute, is that okay? Then I’ll go, I’m sorry, I just...I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”
This time…
God, I want to run to him. I want to drag my sorry self to my feet and throw myself at him and curl up in his embrace and just sob until I’ve cried out every drop of water in my body and I’m nothing more than a husk, then dissolve into dust and blow away in the wind. I can’t do that to him, though, not to my Lionheart. It’s too late to stay quiet, too late to stay hidden. I should never have come here, I just didn’t expect--“Rhory?”
And there’s endless agony in my voice, a depth of pain I’ve never heard before--no. No, that’s not quite true, is it? I’ve heard it in Gendry’s voice, in his family’s voices, grief so raw and new the sound of it grates at hearts that hear it, making even bystanders bleed and shake and weep for the soul who suffers so.
God, I’m such a fucking drama queen.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, and my voice is still a jagged, broken thing, but at least it’s quieter now. “I shouldn’t have come. I just needed--but it doesn’t matter, I’m so sorry.” I can’t leave, not with him standing in the cave entrance. Can’t touch him, can’t hurt him like that, can’t fucking do anything right, I never have. I’m trying so damn hard to just breathe, but I choke on a sob and curl in on myself, shaking and trying to at least keep quiet.
I swallow hard and take a deep breath before trying again. “I just need a minute, is that okay? Then I’ll go, I’m sorry, I just...I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”