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[mature] heaven help me for the way I am - Printable Version

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RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-23-2021

She considers shoving away from him, considers shifting into something with armoured skin. She should. There’s no reason at all why she should be frozen where she is, watching his unsmiling face after her question - wondering what is going through his mind as his thumb traces below her lip. Why she lets him hold her face where it is and gives him the time to sort it out. Why she feels concern of all things as she waits for a response.

Not for the first time, and certainly not for the last, Mazikeen wishes her heart hadn’t grown back.

Would it be different if she actually had memories of him shredding apart her body and devouring her heart and eyes? Or would she still be here in the grass with him, feeling her breathing hitch while she’s caught in his kiss, matching his intensity as his hands move across her body once more.

She bites her tongue against the sound that would’ve come out of her when he speaks against her ear. And she smiles - a mere echo of many she had given Gale in the past, but still a smile. Even though she also wants to kill him, even though she’d like to see if she could snap his neck right now - as futile of a gesture as it would be - these are not the thoughts in the front of her mind.

She should recoil, should hesitate, but Mazikeen wants this. And she can tell herself that it is because of their deal, that she wants him content and satiated and maybe that will delay further bloodshed but that isn’t the whole truth. It is not her burning markings that are making her skin feel alive and warm right now.

“I want you.” And it’s not a lie, or not as much of one as it should be. She tries to pretend that it is, tries to believe that her confusion over the truth isn’t shining in her orange eyes as she brushes strands of hair from his face in a tender gesture that does not belong between them anymore.

Her hand freezes for a heartbeat once she realizes what she’s doing and she can feel herself waiver (it's just an echo of when it was Gale, it doesn't mean anything) but then she moves it to grip it into his hair, pushing past that moment and all of her confusion at the same time. “I want you.” She tells him more firmly - her voice rough with something close to a growl as she moves their bodies so she is above him, lost in the moment - lost in him as she follows his second request to show him the truth behind the words.

@ Gale

RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-24-2021

His hands roam as he waits for an answer, tracing the last glowing markings that still radiate from her spine. They’re a barometer, he has found, a wonderful metric by which he can gauge her anger. They have dimmed, and remain static despite his demand for obedience.

The delight he feels at her words - I want you - feels equally diminished by the glow's absense, and the Curse growls his frustration even as she repeats the words, even as his blood thrills at her rougher touch, at the way she holds him still with her fingers tangled in his hair.

He still wants more.

When she rises over him it is almost enough, and when he sinks into the welcoming heat of her body it is closer still. He closes his eyes, lost in the sensation, and does not quiet the low expletives of pleasure as his hands rise to explore her belly, her breasts, and then lower once more.

But he still wants more.

“Show me.” He tells her. Gale makes no move to proceed farther, though he does shift beneath her, teasing and slow as he looks up at her from where his head now rests on the grass. She is dark against the black sky, and her orange eyes are bright both with lust and confusion. He does not mind the latter, he finds.

He likes it even, because it means she is not certain. Not certain, but proceeding anyway, brave as she ever is. And then he smiles, because he has finally realized exactly what it is that he wants.

He wants her to love him, and he wants her to hate herself for it.

Tonight though, he will settle for sex. When they’ve returned victorious to Hyaline in the morning, he will start to plan for more.

@[Mazikeen]

RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-24-2021

Warmth spreads through her at the vocal signs of his pleasure, her delight chased by guilt as rational thought tries to battle through the fog in her mind one more time. This is just sex, it doesn’t mean anything - maybe she’d even be like this with anyone. She’d always assumed lust was tied up with love but that can’t be true as she growls softly at his teasing movements and her ability to think clearly slips away once more. This isn’t the Gale she loves but she still wants him with increasing intensity.

Right now, she doesn’t care how little sense that makes. Right now, it’s just this moment and the intoxicating bliss of having all of her thoughts driven far away by his voice and touch.

She lowers herself, her body pressed to his, and against his ear she tells him how she wants him with crude language that is all at once embarrassing and igniting. Her voice is breathless as one of her hands explores him and she knows her desire is obvious but she doesn’t care because so is his. Mazikeen’s beginning to remember what it feels like to be filled with something other than grief and pain and hatred and she wants him to make her forget for a moment that those things are still simmering beneath her surface.

Mazikeen tells him more of what she'd like to do, what she'd like him to do, as she begins to move. When it is not enough, when she wants nothing held back at all between them, she will dare to whisper a “please show me” against his neck, quietly begging him to drown in this moment with her.


@ Gale

RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-24-2021

Gale
this is going to break me clean in two --
this is going to bring me close to you


She is the one with a command to follow, but Gale struggles as well. He must remind himself to stay still, to lie with his hands gripping the grass beneath him as she whispers the most marvelous things in his ear. A few times he forgets, shifting beneath her with obvious desire of his own, naked delight in his electric eyes.

When she moves on - from the things she wants to the things she wants from him, his hands rise up to find a permanent place at either side of her hips, so that he might hold her more firmly. So that she knows how very willing he is to do just as she asks.

All he can see Mazikeen, and all he can feel is his desire for her, and the Wrongness is so very very far away.

When she finally whispers, when she finally asks, he complies without hesitation. The Curse moves her easily, until she is the one on her back, and this time when they become one it is nothing like their first time.

She is the one who’s sworn obedience, and yet the thing that wears Gale gives her exactly what she had asked him for. Only then, only when he is sure that she is satisfied, does he turn her again, wrapping her dark hair around one hand as the other holds her still with the other.

Afterward, he rolls over into the grass beside her. His breathing is heavy, and he is smiling, head propped up on one hand. He’s quiet for a very long time, and pushes away the Wrongness with the satisfaction that she’s carrying his child.

He traces the lines of her face with mild interest, cataloging her features. The first Gale had hidden the memories of Mazikeen in this particular shape from the Curse, and it does understand why. He does not wish to share this remarkable sight with anyone else either.

The Curse remembers an earlier promise to Mazikeen on another dark night, and reminds her with a dark amusement: “I did tell you this would be easier if you do as you’re told.” He’s been inching closer to her as he speaks, till his chest was pressed against her side and his hand can trace circles around her navel.

During that long silence, when he’d simply watched her with complete satisfaction, Gale has made a decision. They’re going further north, he tells Mazikeen. She’s had the chance to choose the target of their evening stroll, and she’d declined. They’re going to Taiga.

@[Mazikeen]


RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Mazikeen - 06-24-2021

mazikeen
She’d bitten her tongue the first time noise had tried to rise out of her but there had come a moment when she couldn’t hold it in, and now she feels like she can hear the echo of their shared pleasure ringing in her ears as she tries to calm her wild heart. It makes her laugh quietly at his reminder of what he had told her, the memories of her obedience and why she had sworn it not yet leaking into her bliss as she looks back at him with a smile of her own.

Mazikeen likes how he inches back over to her, the way his hand moves across her skin. And though she is still flushed with satisfaction, the touch awakens more desire in her - her orange eyes blazing as she looks back at him.

But then he speaks again, of the reason why they are outside Hyaline, and the blissful smile on her expression fades away. Reality settles back into her mind, chilling her. She nods and doesn’t reach out to him like she had been thinking of doing. She rolls away instead of placing herself back over top of him and shifts as she does - becoming a dark panther with glowing horns and large, black wings.

A stealthy warrior, ready to do his bidding.

And she looks at him and swallows down the confusion that is rising again, the realization of just how much she had enjoyed what just happened. And how much she’d like for it to happen again.

She also tries not to think about how she had been considering the north as well, when he had first brought it up and she had delayed her response. She is uncomfortable with the knowledge that their minds could be so in tuned with each other. Gale had a habit of asking her a question soon after she had thought of the subject, and she thought that it meant something. That it was a sign of how well they suited each other. So what does this mean, that she is now on the same page as the Curse?

“As you wish.” She says, and it’s softer than the quip she means for it to be - her uncertainty plain as she wrestles with herself for control over her emotions.



@ Gale

RE: heaven help me for the way I am - Gale - 06-24-2021

Gale
this is going to break me clean in two --
this is going to bring me close to you


Gale becomes feline as well, a black lion with a matching pair of leathery wings, and he strides toward her. He’d seen the way her face had fallen, the way she’d given a perfunctory nod with shaded eyes that had just moments ago been burning back at him.

He’d seen the lust in them, knows that moments ago Gale's eyes had been burning with the same. The hunger for her had felt nearly insatiable, but as a thing without a true corporeal body it is able to push those needs away while it thought of other things.

(Or perhaps that is just one of his host’s habits that he has adopted as his own.)

The uncertainty in her voice rings sweet in his ears, as delightful as the screams at her death, though not not quite so harmonic as the moans of pleasure they’d just shared beneath the stars.

With a truly wicked smile, he presses close, and as he runs sharp teeth along her throat tells her that they can do that again any time she’d like. “Only when you’d like,” it adds, releasing her from the obedience that had her seek him out tonight.

He is confident she’ll do so again.

So with a flick of his dark tufted tail, he blinks, and the pair of them are in the heart of the redwoods, standing in front of a boy that some sense has told him is family.

@Mazikeen