[private] keep me just hanging on, agetta - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Meadow (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +---- Thread: [private] keep me just hanging on, agetta (/showthread.php?tid=25732) |
keep me just hanging on, agetta - Ryatah - 12-09-2019 she fell for the idea of him and ideas were a dangerous thing to love She has been relatively quiet ever since the afterlife was opened, or at least, quiet by her standards. From the outskirts she watched as the dead returned and their loved ones rejoiced – over and over, she watched the same scene unfold. And it had hurt, at first, knowing that that would never be her. Even if Dhumin did come back, what would that even mean? It wouldn’t mean happiness – they were never meant for that. He was calloused and cold, and things would have been exactly as they were before, with her just a broken afterthought that sat there waiting to be remembered. But maybe there was a part of her that missed that. That was a brokenness she was used to; the kind she had lived with for countless years. There was a time when her heart beat for no other reason than to try and gain his acceptance, when all she wanted was a glance spared her way or a touch that didn’t leave her feeling emptier than before. Sometimes she thinks that would be better than whatever it is she feels right now. When she fluctuates between feeling almost nothing to feeling everything all at once, when she feels like something inside of her is going to either combust or she’s going to just dissolve to nothing. She wonders where Skellig is, and then immediately feels guilty for even wondering. He was gone, just as he should be, because she hadn’t given him a reason to stay. She never gave anyone a reason to stay, she realizes; she only wanted the things she couldn’t have, things that never would or could be hers, even though something as beautiful and perfect like Skellig was there all along. Maybe she could finally get used to being alone. From the corner of her eye she sees a familiar flash of white, and with a turn of her haloed head her dark eyes settle on Agetta. She hasn’t seen her since they all escaped the afterlife, and the first thing she notices is that she looks happy. It’s not jealousy that sparks in her chest; she’s not even sure what it is, actually, but perhaps a strange sort of longing. “Agetta,” she calls her name softly, stepping through the golden summer grass that sways in the breeze. The afternoon sunlight catches the gilded feathers that lay scattered throughout the white of her wings, and the ring of light above her head all the more illuminated by the backlight of the sun. “You made it out unscathed, it seems,” is all she says once she is close enough, her eyes sweeping over her as she wonders if she, too, was somehow changed. ryatah RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Agetta - 12-15-2019 Agetta @[Ryatah] RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Anaxarete - 12-19-2019 She had no reason to be in the meadow, yet here she was. She remains veiled in the shadow - away from the prying eyes of those lingering here. There was nothing sinister that had brought her to this place - no nefarious intent. However, she was never one to pass up an opportunity. That opportunistic nature was as much a part of Ana as the shadows themselves. It was the familiar faces that give her pause. First Ryatah, who she’d see in Pangea not long ago. And she wasn’t alone. Agetta. A twisted smile lit up upon her face. Oh, the shadowmare and the leopard had quite a history. However, when Anaxarete searched through Agetta’s memories - she found that all memories of their time together were...absent. They had been taken from her - extinguished altogether. Peculiar, to be sure. But this interesting development certainly brought with it an entirely new opportunity. The twisted smile returns. She calls upon her magic then. She could feel the child already quickening in Agetta’s womb. So she crafts the child a sibling born of the two mares yet infused with her own magic. A child crafted of the Beqanna of old. Agetta had become the unknowing vessel of Ana’s newest project, with Ryatah providing the missing piece. And with that, the shadowmare disappeared into the shadows - leaving the child to grow. The fun would have to wait until the spring. RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Ryatah - 12-29-2019 she fell for the idea of him and ideas were a dangerous thing to love Despite her amiable disposition, she has never been particularly good at keeping friends. As with most aspects of her life, she had a habit of destroying every decent thing that happened to her, or pushing away anyone that fell in the realm of normal. She’s not even sure if she’s ever had anyone that qualified as a real friend – where she didn’t have to be cautious of a hair-trigger temper, or an ulterior motive drawing them together. Boheme was the only one that came to mind, but even then, the foundation of their friendship was marred with sin and the twisted ways of that jungle in a land so far away. The relationship itself was easy and sweet, but as with almost everything else, it was tinged with darkness. But Agetta – she was different. There was nothing about the other mare that could be associated with anything negative, and while that should have been a relief, that isn’t what she feels. There’s a tension building inside of her, the kind that makes her blood run hot but her skin grow cold, a shiver chasing up the length of her spine. It’s the nervous anticipation that something is suppose to happen, a knee-jerk reaction telling her that she should be afraid, even when there is no one here that she should fear. It’s why Agetta’s compliment makes her face flush, but her heart jump nervously simultaneously. Had anyone ever actually said that to her before? She can’t remember the last time anyone had told her she was beautiful; the men she spent most of her time with knew by now they didn’t have to waste their breath on meaningless compliments to get what they wanted from her. “Thank you, but…” she can feel her words start to trail, the halo above her head suddenly feeling heavy, “I don’t think I really qualify as an angel.” Her wings rustle at her sides in almost a shrug, forcing a light laugh before adding, “But, I can heal things now, so I guess that might be useful.” She does not notice Anaxarete lurking in the shadows, and even if she had, there’s nothing to say that she would have paid the shadow queen any mind. It was an ingrained habit to look the other way when darkness threatened to encroach; just one of her many morality flaws. Still, her eyes are drawn to the spot where Anaxarete had just disappeared from, staring for a heartbeat too long before her dark eyes look back to Agetta with a smile. “I’d ask for a demonstration, but I’ve been enjoying not being blind anymore.” The words are followed with a laugh, and a playful nudge against her shoulder. “I’m kidding. I’m sure you’re great with your new light beam thing.” ryatah @[Agetta] RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Agetta - 01-12-2020 Agetta @[Ryatah] RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Ryatah - 01-17-2020 she fell for the idea of him and ideas were a dangerous thing to love It almost feels wrong, to be having a conversation that is so normal. Like she is an imposter, and pretending to be someone – something – that she is not. Agetta is sweet, and gives her laughter and compliments easily, and Ryatah finds herself wondering if it’s real. She feels like maybe she can see straight through this haphazard disguise, beyond the angelic exterior and to the wretched creature that lurks beneath – the one that looks the other way when awful things are happening, the one that takes things like love and reduces it to dust. Maybe the smiles and the compliments were just a ruse, she thinks, a way for Agetta to fake it through a conversation with an undeserving angel. It would have been easy to let those thoughts spiral, until she had convinced herself that this single shred of normalcy was just as fabricated as everything else. Agetta is not like the rest of them, she reminds herself, and she pulls herself out of the darkness she had been subconsciously crafting for herself. For once, she thinks, she can just let herself have something nice; something genuine that she will not break, something that does not require her to sacrifice so much of herself. When she asks about who she had sought in the afterlife, her face does not give away to how her heart clenches inside of her chest. The darkness of her eyes flicker just briefly, the only sign that she had even registered what Agetta had asked, but inwardly a torrent of thoughts and emotions flood her. The surface of her remains impassive, lending nothing to the turmoil that churns in the deepest part of her chest when she thinks of Dhumin. “No,” she finally says, with a melancholy smile. “He chose not to come. Not with me, at least. I don’t know. Maybe he left later and I didn’t notice.” Her gaze turns to her companion, her tone still a forced kind of light when she adds, “He was always good at that.” At leaving, without her, and then returning as though nothing had happened. He had taught her that, too – how to leave, and how to handle being left. How to be left over and over again and not crumble even if they took a small piece of her everytime they did it. “You seem happy, so, I assume your outcome was brighter than mine,” she says, genuine and uncondescending. She has never been the kind to be bitter at another’s happiness; her sorrows were almost always of her own doing. ryatah @[Agetta] RE: keep me just hanging on, agetta - Agetta - 01-28-2020 Agetta @[Ryatah] |