[private] fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Forest (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=73) +---- Thread: [private] fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina (/showthread.php?tid=26960) |
fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Torryn - 05-18-2020 choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned
He had not meant to morph himself into this strange canine shape, and he is not even sure what triggered it. Maybe it was because the hunger that had been sinking its claws into his gut had finally managed to tear him open. Maybe this was what happened when the monsters of the shadows did not get their fill, and this was his new body’s last resort for survival. Because while he had not felt like himself – his old self – ever since he left the endless maze of that underground hell, this form was something entirely different. This form seemed to take hold of whatever rational thoughts he had and simply crush them, until all that was left was this insatiable need to hunt something, anything. He travels through the dark of the forest, an overcast sky trapped somewhere above the tops of the trees. His steps are soundless, the shadows of himself shifting and moving in a way that replicates a wolf tracking over logs and through bramble, but if not for the glow of his eyes he would blend almost seamlessly with the night. He comes across her by accident, and he falters. She is alone, and he pauses to take her in. She is alone, and she would be easy prey, he thinks. He wonders if he could physically kill her – if that is what he needs to do, even though he knows it’s not her flesh that he craves. It is something else, and the sorrow radiates from her in such a way that he is afraid of losing control. She makes his stomach twist with want and way that he hadn't known possible, and his body shudders with a longing that he has to swallow down. It takes every ounce of willpower he has to shape his shadows back into his equine form, and though the feral fog in his mind slowly dissipates, the hunger does not. He stands there, the smoke-like tendrils of his mane billowing despite the lack of breeze this far into the trees, and he watches her with those vibrantly red eyes, silent and still. torryn RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - despoina - 05-18-2020 DESPOINA Sometimes, she wonders how she does not drown in the depth of her pain. I guess the sound of your voice in the aching will just have to do RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Torryn - 05-24-2020 choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned He expects her to run, because for a moment he thinks he sees the thought flicker across her face. It’s a fleeting thing, but it happens when their eyes meet, and he recognizes the look on her face. He has seen it before, when a stranger finds the red glow of his eyes, and finds that it is unsettling. His jaw clenches and he steps back, his nose angling towards his broad chest and briefly his eyes close, and he disappears entirely into darkness. It would have been so easy to disappear entirely, then. To dissolve back into the shadows, soundless, and let himself be forgotten. To be even less than a memory, a thing that she maybe thought she saw, but can never be sure. Something selfish stirs inside of him, though, and he opens his eyes again, harsh and glowing even though he felt no actual malice. He looks at her again, at her lovely delicate face, and wonders if the old him would have even earned a second glance. “You don’t have to be afraid,” and the words curl from his mouth like plumes of smoke, and though he wants to step closer, to better look at the iridescent blue of her, he doesn’t. Instead he settles for watching from where he is, watching her with glowing eyes that are somehow so sharp and yet still harbor so much confusion and sorrow. “My name is Torryn.” torryn RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - despoina - 05-26-2020 DESPOINA For all of the negative emotions that swirl within Despoina, fear is not often one of them. She has stared at death from the very first day of her life when her mother lunged at her and then when the dragon stallion stared at her with such contempt. She has never been afraid of pain, of dying, because in her wicked heart, she has always known that there are things so much worse than a quiet, final end. I guess the sound of your voice in the aching will just have to do RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Torryn - 06-04-2020 choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned She is not afraid, she says, and he bites back the words you should be. Something stirs in his gut, an instinct almost, to make her afraid. Invisible claws that want to reach for her, to manually make her heart race and sweat shimmer across her skin, to make the hair rise on her neck and twist her mind until she is afraid even if she doesn’t understand why. There is something aching inside of him, something that he fights but he can feel himself growing weary, and he is afraid that someday he will not be able to look at soft, pretty faces and be able to keep himself from unleashing every ounce of terror and fury on them. He doesn’t, though. Not tonight. He is silent and unyielding while he watches her, wondering why someone so delicate and soft-spoken is not afraid when faced with something that is not exactly terrible, but dark and unsettling nonetheless. He thinks he might recognize something in the faint flicker of her eyes, something haunted and hurt – and he can relate. He wonders what kind of underground labyrinth of terrors she faced to become this way. “Everything feels heavy,” he answers her, with an almost apathetic rolling of his shoulder. It’s strange, actually, that everything feels heavier up here than it had down there. Even with an open sky above and a lack of pulsating walls that closed and twisted through darkness, it still felt heavy – almost crushing. He watches her for a moment longer, the quiet coiling like his shadows, before he says to her, placid but direct, “I want to know your name. Will you tell me?” torryn RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - despoina - 06-05-2020 DESPOINA What would he do if he saw the real her? I guess the sound of your voice in the aching will just have to do RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Torryn - 06-07-2020 choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned He wants to know why she is so timid and quiet. He wants to know what happened to her to make her feel as though she needed to be unsure of everything she said. Or maybe it’s just him. Perhaps she lied about not being afraid, when in fact a pair of crimson eyes glowing against billowing shadow was too unnerving for her. He decides, of course, that that must be it. And he can feel shame and rage burning like a coal in his gut, not because of her, but because of him. Because of everything he is and everything he is destined to become. He does not understand why, when all he ever wanted was to be like his family, why fate had to laugh at his wishes and dreams and turn him into an actual monster. He swallows away his bitterness, and shift his glowing gaze back to hers. He stares at the loveliness of her face, and wonders what things would have been like if they had met before — before he became what he was. “Despoina,” he says quietly in the smokiness of his voice, and even on his course tongue it sounds lovely and light. “It’s a pretty name.” He steps closer to her now, a cautious and careful step, afraid of sending her running, but more afraid of letting her leave. “You are not afraid of me,” he recalls back to her earlier comment, all the while studying her face, her eyes, her mouth. “Which means you have seen or felt something far worse than what I am.” It’s a statement. Not one that he expects her to clarify or expand on. Simply something he says, because he wants her to know. Wants her to know that he understands, because he is certain now, that after what he faced down below, there are very few monsters he could face that would scare him now. torryn RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - despoina - 06-08-2020 DESPOINA She has never thought of her name as pretty. Never considered it as anything but the despondent howl of a young girl without a name. A placeholder for what should have been bestowed upon her by a loving mother. It was an eternal reminder that she had to carry the weight of something given to herself. Something that she had whispered in secret in the den when the faeries were not around. I guess the sound of your voice in the aching will just have to do RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - Torryn - 06-08-2020 choke them on the ashes of the dreams they burned He sees it. Sees that ripple of black fur, sees that defensive look in her eyes when he stepped closer. And though he doesn’t recognize it for what it is — does not recognize that it is a hellhound that she harbors — it still calls to the twisted shadow creature inside of him. It makes the beast inside of him snarl, as though her nearly shifting had been considered a threat; a taunt. He withdraws again, almost abruptly, his face turning to look away from her, gritting his teeth and closing his red eyes as he fights to regain control of every part of him. There is a strange unrest that rolls across him, like waves in a storm, the shadows rippling and twisting until he finds a way to settle them. He looks back at her, eyes glowing but steady, no longer bright and nearly feral. He tries to pretend nothing had happened. Tries to pretend he had not just nearly lost himself to the monster that is slowly devouring him, tries to pretend that his own fear is brewing like a tempest in his gut. “You don’t like to be alone, then?” He asks her, trying — wanting — to understand. He wants to understand her, even just a little bit. He wants to chase away the thoughts of hunger and how sweet her sorrow smells, he wants to forget that he is twisted and deranged and just think of her. “I didn’t used to have to be alone,” the smoke of his voice carefully crafting each word, though he does not tell her of the family he had to leave behind. “But I think it’s for the best, now.” He flicks his crimson gaze to hers. “And you’re right, the silence and the emptiness is the worst part.” torryn RE: fade away to the wicked world we left, despoina - despoina - 06-09-2020 DESPOINA His jerking motion away from her is noticed and she withdraws in kind. Recognizes it more as a kind of rejection than any kind of threat—how could she not? She has spent her entire life dealing with the very kind of rejection that she is now faced with. From her very first breath, she had known that she was not good enough. The fact of the one she was meant to trust above all else had been twisted with derision. I guess the sound of your voice in the aching will just have to do |