[private] I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Meadow (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=3) +---- Thread: [private] I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn (/showthread.php?tid=30093) Pages:
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I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Voracious - 08-25-2021 You twist, I turn, who's the first to burn? You sit and stay, I don't obey. The seasons here hold sway in a never-ending cycle, tossing them from one extreme to the other like flotsam. Only once had the cycle broken. He had not cared for that time. Darkness had fallen, clinging to the land with a fierce tenacity that had taken him by surprise. And then the monsters had risen, slavering and hungry, beasts held captive to an ancient need this world had forgotten.Voracious had not forgotten. For the first time since he had risen from the bowels of his birthplace, he had been forced to wet the tines of his antlers with blood. It had been years since he had trained, and yet, in the face of a new enemy who wanted only to taste his flesh, the training he had once endured brought old instincts roaring back to life. He should have been content to only fend off those who found him where he hid, but he had not. He had hunted them. Hunted them as he had been bred to do. Then the light had returned and a foul realization had begun to turn his gut to acid. He had become everything he once railed against. In those dark and tempestuous months, he had become the monster he always feared. And so he had fled. He had spread his wings and leapt into the skies across the ocean. He hadn’t meant to return, and yet, here he is. There is a sadness resonating inside his chest as he stares at the swaying grasses and gently rolling hills. This is the first place he had ever truly felt alive. The first place he had found meaning in his once meaningless life. He is a creature crafted for war, yet it is never war that he had wanted. He had found peace here, until that peace too had vanished. But out in the lands beyond, he had quickly discovered there is no such thing as escaping one’s own demons. The bloodlust woken by those dark monsters had followed him. Perhaps it is inevitable. Perhaps he was always meant to become everything his ancestors had promised him he would be. With his tired wings drooping over his blue ribs, Voracious peers at the place he had once imagined a paradise free from strife. Oh how very wrong he had been. And yet, as he stares at this place, he wonders if it might be the only place he can remember exactly who it was he had once fought so hard to be. Voracious @Aislyn RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Aislyn - 08-30-2021 BUT I HOPE I NEVER LOSE THE BRUISES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND A I S L Y N @Voracious RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Voracious - 09-08-2021 You twist, I turn, who's the first to burn? You sit and stay, I don't obey. He had not truly expected to encounter anyone that would remember him. But of course it would be her that finds him now. Once, she might have caught him by surprise. In those early days, after he had fought so hard to leave his old life behind, he had become distracted and lax. Now, despite his weariness, he is neither of those things.The peryton sees her just as she sees him. He does not tense or otherwise display any aggression, but it isn’t until his name falls from her lips that he blinks. That he finally accepts it is truly her. A part of him wants to smile, to display that easy camaraderie they had once shared. Now though, he fears that part of him has died for good. Still, the familiarity of her voice twists something inside his chest, stirring the old flames of the friendship they had once shared. That they could, just maybe, still share. It takes him a moment to realize how badly he wants that. And for the first time in ages, he believes that perhaps there is still something left of what he had once tried so hard to be. He doesn’t say anything as she closes the distance between them. Neither does he try to stop her approach. It isn’t until she asks if he remembers her that it occurs to him his silence may have been misinterpreted. The ache in his ribs twists harder. “Of course,” he breathes finally, sea-blue gaze falling to find those petal-bright eyes of hers. “Aislyn.” His eyes hold hers for a long moment, shadows twisting behind the vibrant surface. “I could never forget you.” He blinks, gaze breaking from hers abruptly. He surveys the shapely curves of her form, comforted to find her appearing whole. Glad that at least one bit of goodness had escaped the beasts, even if his had not. Breathing out a soft sigh, Voracious adds softly, “I’m glad you survived the darkness.” Voracious @Aislyn RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Aislyn - 09-08-2021 BUT I HOPE I NEVER LOSE THE BRUISES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND A I S L Y N @Voracious RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Voracious - 09-10-2021 You twist, I turn, who's the first to burn? You sit and stay, I don't obey. He doesn’t know of the demons that still chase her, but he would have been sorry to learn of them. Despite the memories that now plague him, he finds himself caring that she is well. He’s not quite certain why, but he hopes it means he is not as far gone as he had believed. He had not been created to care about others. War and obedience are all he had been born for, all that had been drummed into him his entire life. His brothers had succumbed so easily, but he, strange outlier that he had been, had refused.Yet, he cares for her, even though he shouldn’t. There is hope in that. Her voice is light when she responds, but the words bring a faint frown to his lips. His eyes drift to her chest - to the place where her heart beats behind her ribs. He can hear the steady thrum of it, strong and certain and alive. Whole. He isn’t certain how failing to remember her could cause her a muscle to break. He is certain however, that he would never want to be the cause of it. “Then I will endeavor to remember you always.” As the conversation turns, death recaptures his attention. He had meted out so much of it in those bleak months. But she is still living, so he focuses on that. Focuses on her. Though it had not been a conscious thought, hearing her say that the endless eclipse had not been a normal occurrence eases something inside of him. A subconscious part of him had feared there was more to the cycle than simple seasons. That the monsters come and go like the snows do. It is, in part, why he had fled. He could not battle the monsters again without losing what remains of him. He nods when she says that, though there is no relief in his expression. Perhaps it would come, with time. Or perhaps he has already lost too much of himself. He looks quickly away, unable to hold her gaze at that thought. Would she still want his friendship, even knowing he is as much a beast as the things that had crawled from the night? Her careful words seem to dig beneath that tiny chink in his armor, as though she had known his thoughts somehow. It is all he can do to keep from flinching beneath her unwitting assault. His gaze slides back to her. Even if he had wanted to, he could not have kept the truth out of those aqua eyes. Something hollow opens up inside his chest. “I killed.” His voice is soft, but it is made no less brutal for it. He would not hide the thing he had to become. Not from her. She had seen his brothers, after all. Fought them. She already knows what he could have become. What he could still become. “Not on purpose, at first,” he continues. His jaw clenches briefly, forcing him to loosen it to continue. He can’t look at her now though. “Afterwards, I… hunted them.” He pulls his wings tighter against his sides, but still he doesn’t turn his gaze to her. He doesn’t want to see the rejection he knows must be written through every line of body. “I thought I could be different, if I got away. But I’m not. I’m still…” He sucks in a breath, steeling himself against the truth. His expression hardens, his voice growing brittle. “I’m still a monster, just like them.” Voracious @Aislyn RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Aislyn - 10-17-2021 BUT I HOPE I NEVER LOSE THE BRUISES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND A I S L Y N @Voracious RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Voracious - 10-22-2021 You twist, I turn, who's the first to burn? You sit and stay, I don't obey. It is a vicious guilt to live with, that of taking life. Even if it had been life that deserved taking, how much farther is it to fall to take one that does not deserve it? His brothers had never hesitated to do so. And now, he fears the numbness that grows in the wake of such violence. He fears the shift that has taken place inside him.She is far too good for him. He knows it without doubt. She had given so much to bring him here, and he has been selfish in their friendship. What has she gained from it? Nothing but a poor friend who could so easily turn into a beast. At first her words don’t quite cut through the miasma of despair that threatens him. The words are sharp enough to slice, but he has spent a lifetime resisting. She refuses to allow him to keep it however, her body shifting in his peripheral until she forces his eyes to meet hers. His skin feels too tight across his bones, but he doesn’t drop her gaze. He would give her this honor at least. But he can only blink when her words finally register. He wants to step back, but his legs don’t move. There is steel in her voice despite the softness of her words. Still, he can only shake his head. He has spent his entire life believing in something better, yet somehow her belief in him defies all logic. Monsters don’t feel remorse, she declares, and he wonders if that is what this is. He has always felt so much, and in a world where emotions are beaten out of one in childhood, he had made sure to never express them. But they had remained, confusing and defiant. Is the heaviness in his chest, the chill in his bones, remorse? “How can you be so certain?” he replies, his voice thick, almost inaudible. He startles at her touch. Not because it is unwelcome, but because he is so unused to it. He looks at her, surprised, only to find that she is now avoiding his gaze. She insists the eclipse is over and he has nothing to worry about, but he is hardly paying attention. After a moment, he reaches out and brushes his nose against her neck in return. There is something almost comforting in such a simple touch. Touch not filled with violence. It sends a shiver racing along his skin, as though he is doing something illicit. Pulling away, Voracious peers at her with a troubled gaze. She had been his first friend. Perhaps his only friend. “Why do you believe in me so much?” he asks abruptly, unable to keep his baffled curiosity to himself. His wings wilt slightly when he adds, “I have done nothing to deserve it.” Voracious @Aislyn RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Aislyn - 10-28-2021 BUT I HOPE I NEVER LOSE THE BRUISES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND A I S L Y N @Voracious RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Voracious - 01-10-2022 You twist, I turn, who's the first to burn? You sit and stay, I don't obey. If she is awkward and stumbling in her attempts to console him, he does not know. To his inexperienced and undeniably naive gaze, there is nothing that could have been more right in that moment. Nothing that could have touched him quite like the quiet steel of her resolve. He is neither sweet nor soft despite the touch of innocence that remains when he peers at matters of the soul, nor is it likely he could understand it if offered to him. But the sincerity and implacability of her tone? Those he knows well.Even if he does not quite wish to believe it. Yet he feels the tug of it all the same, and he cannot help the brief, melancholic smile that pulls at his lips. “I’m not certain I even know myself,” he replies after a thoughtful moment, aqua eyes searching the bright pink of hers. In that breathless, eternal heartbeat of time, the smallest piece of who he’d once tried to be returns, bringing a genuine, if fleeting, smile with it. “Perhaps you will have to stay here and remind me so I cannot forget.” Words are not necessary then, and he doesn’t notice that she cannot seem to find them. He has never been a great wordsmith, and it’s impossible to miss what one has never known. But everything she wants to tell him is right there in the impossible depth of her gaze, spoken in the soft lines of her body. In nearly equal measure, he too cannot conjure the words to express what he feels. If such words even exist, he doesn’t know them. Instead he can only hope she can find them in the perpetual hopefulness of his expression, or read them between the lines of the wholly inadequate words that tumble from his lips. “Do you know,” he begins, unable to keep the musing question from spilling forth. “I never knew what caring meant until I met you?” There is a wryness in his open expression, one that borders on embarrassment. “I thought I did because I didn’t wish to be what I was born to be, but you proved me so very wrong.” Voracious @Aislyn RE: I'll be watching from the center of the hollow moon; Aislyn - Aislyn - 01-26-2022 BUT I HOPE I NEVER LOSE THE BRUISES THAT YOU LEFT BEHIND A I S L Y N @Voracious |