[private] what a shame, saffron - Printable Version +- Beqanna (https://beqanna.com/forum) +-- Forum: Explore (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=1) +--- Forum: The Common Lands (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=72) +---- Forum: Forest (https://beqanna.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?fid=73) +---- Thread: [private] what a shame, saffron (/showthread.php?tid=30678) |
what a shame, saffron - bolder - 01-30-2022 Out of the direct sunlight, Bolder naps. RE: what a shame, saffron - Saffron - 02-22-2022 He is restless, but that is nothing new. Ever since the strange dream that he wasn’t sure had been a dream at all, he hasn’t been able to stay in one place long. The odd, pale tines that creep along his shoulders and face ensure it. Demand it. It wanted him to find company, so he avoided it instead. That was the easier part. But he could not keep himself from water. Or from sun. He was beginning to believe the deep shadows of the forest might make it retreat, but it would not let him stay there for long. He has tried so many times. That is why he had left Taiga this morning. So little sun filtered through those trees that it forced him constantly from his home. He would not be able to stay in the forest long either, but still he tries. He tries until, even without conscious thought, his feet begin moving once more. When he realizes it, a soft sight escapes his lips. The breath burns his throat, but he has grown used to it by now. Saffron is nearly at the edge of the forest when he hears the growl. His reluctant footsteps slow to a halt, the forced desire to keep moving forward overridden by something much stronger. Curiosity. He peers around until something tells him to look up. To look into the trees. When his gaze locks with pale silver eyes, he frowns. He should be afraid. Only a fool wouldn’t be afraid when staring into the eyes of a large predator. But clearly he is a fool, because it is not fear he feels. No, what he feels is… familiarity. But why? He knows that stare. Somewhere deep down, he recognizes it viscerally. His frown only deepens as he remains unmoving and unafraid, trying to figure out how he knows those eyes. And then it clicks and his own gaze widens. It had been far too long since he had looked into those eyes, but he should have known them immediately. He hates speaking. It hurts. But his surprise makes him forget the discomfort, though his voice comes out hoarse and raspy. “Bolder?” Saffron @bolder RE: what a shame, saffron - bolder - 02-27-2022 RE: what a shame, saffron - Saffron - 03-01-2022 Change is the way of the world, and Saffron, always the most pragmatic, had accepted that as fact. That hadn’t stopped him from aching for their broken trio. From missing the closeness they had shared as children. Nor had it stopped him from trying to sneak out to see him. It’s exactly what he had intended to do before he was snatched into the nightmare that brought this curse to him. Since that night however, he has only tried to live with his new reality. They had all been so close once, and now he could not even hug them for fear of the hungry branches trying to root into his siblings as well. As the large cat drops from the tree and morphs into Bolder, a pang echoes through Saffron’s chest. For all that he is no longer lanky with youth, Bolder’s face is even more familiar to him than his own. He notes the changes as his eyes roam over his brother, but the similarities are far greater than any changes he sees. He wants to smile. Wants it so badly that his lips begin to curl before the pain reminds him it’s not worth it. As he stares at the brother he hasn’t seen in far too long, there is so much he wants to say. He wants nothing more than to pull him into an embrace, but he does not. Just as with his other siblings, he doesn’t dare get too close. Finally Saffron settles with something simple. He’s not sure he could manage long sentences yet anyway. Not when every word grates so painfully across his throat. “I’ve missed you.” Saffron @bolder RE: what a shame, saffron - bolder - 03-12-2022 RE: what a shame, saffron - Saffron - 03-23-2022 The concern that etches itself across Bolder’s face pierces Saffron sharply. He wishes so desperately he could tell him it’s unneeded. Wishes there was a way to cover these insidious pale tines so that expression would never have had to settle. But Saffron cannot. He can only work to smooth his own expression instead. Can only try to pretend that the pity does not bother him even as it claws away his own insides. Just like Bolder, he can’t explain away all the time that had passed. Can’t give any reason that matters why he had never visited him in Hyaline. How does one explain about the intense shame and guilt and worry his ailment had brought him? How does he even begin to tell him about everything else that has happened? Even if speaking did not already make his throat feel as though it were being burned by every word, telling Bolder of what had happened between their parents would. Saffron isn’t even sure he could adequately explain it, though he would try. Bolder deserves to know. Habit almost makes him stretch to meet Bolder’s tentative foray with his muzzle, but as his lips try to curl into an automatic smile, the pain reminds him not to. Instead, he draws away, maintaining space between them. It’s hard. The curse wants him to touch his brother, but Saffron would not give in to it. Not in this. Not when it is his sibling who would suffer for it. Instead he offers Bolder the briefest smile, pain making it disappear as swiftly as it had come. He takes a moment to respond to Bolder’s question, but when he does, Saffron’s hoarse words are steady and measured. “A lot. I’m… okay.” He pauses, eyes slipping closed. He needs to tell his brother about their parents more than he needs to tell him about his own woes. “Mom and dad… aren’t.” Saffron @bolder RE: what a shame, saffron - bolder - 03-27-2022 RE: what a shame, saffron - Saffron - 04-26-2022 As he watches the anger and hurt wash across his brother’s expression, something inside him withers. He swallows back the guilt, wishing he could take it on himself instead. He does not know its cause though - that his brother believes Saffron had pulled away because he believed Bolder somehow cursed - or the guilt would have twisted even more sharply inside him. He would have explained the truth. But he does not know, so he cannot correct those painful misassumptions. As he watches the darker color writhe across Bolder’s wings, Saffron wishes desperately he could offer his brother a comforting touch while knowing it is impossible. Instead he can only offer it in the sorrow of his gaze and his broken words. “She… wouldn’t have,” he replies scratchily, the words coming more easily now. They are still painful, but practice seems to make this less difficult to force out. “She wouldn’t want you… to worry.” He pauses, throat working as he forces his own upset back down. “Mom and dad… aren’t together anymore.” Saffron’s concern only deepens as his brother’s body is nearly swallowed by shadow. He hadn’t wanted to cause Bolder distress, but he had deserved to know. Perhaps it would have been better coming from another sibling. From one that could touch him and comfort him properly. One that wasn’t cursed as Saffron is. And then Bolder stops dancing around the other problem, asking about Saffron’s deepest shame. He had expected it. How could he not, when it sprouts so plainly from his body? But still he shrinks in upon himself, wishing Bolder hadn’t asked. “They’re contagious,” he says swiftly, eyes dropping to the ground. A warning and an admission. But it’s not enough, he knows. And this is Bolder. If anyone could understand, it would be him. “I…” he swallows painfully hard, gaze darting, refusing to meet his sibling’s eyes. “I failed… at something. And was cursed.” Saffron @bolder |