I can’t be sure this is my heart [Roselin]

[Memorie]

one lives in hope of becoming a memory

Ever since my meeting with @[Roselin], there had been a constant reminder at the back of my mind of the sunflowers and the garden the other filly wanted to grow. Even when the moon came and stole the sunlight from our world, I had not forgotten. In fact, the absence of the sun only got me to thinking more deeply about the idea of bringing her sunflowers to Taiga, enough that I had spent some time really looking between the lines of my flora revival. When I wasn’t helping the herd by sustaining their bellies with much needed sustenance, I could be found examining the death that surrounded me. I had even gone as far as combining gifts to learn even more about the plants that had grown here when the sun had shone by seeking out the residue of their emotions–and yes, plants very much do have emotions.

So, what does the death of the flora that grows beneath the redwoods have anything to do with the sunflowers, you ask? Well, the way I looked at it, if I could really learn the signatures of these plants, then I could look for the signatures of other plants around me as well, and hopefully, the memories that Roselin had shared with me, coupled with those signatures, could lead me to find these sunflowers.

It is only after I have mastered this new facet of my abilities that I seek her out once more, because now I feel confident that I could help her.

In this darkness, I had changed so much. The small horns that had begun to sprout just before the sun disappeared are now longer, closer to matching my father’s. Something else has changed, as well. A very faint glow had appeared along my back, just bright enough to make out the shape of wings, if you squinted enough. They weren’t as bright as Cheri’s blessed wings, and certainly not as bright as father’s, but they were there, a discovery that had been received with quite a bit of pride and excitement on my part. 

The soft, blue glow that comes from the wings and the little socks around my ankles illuminate the path ahead of me. The glow falls upon the dead ferns and shamrocks that had once grown so vibrantly in the understory. Though the obvious signs of death are sad to think about, it emboldens and encourages me. I still believe that, one day, the sun would return, and that these plants would all grow back, stronger than before, more resilient against the shadows that often fall beneath the redwoods, which means that life needed to go on, and with it, I felt that Roselin and I should continue looking for a way to bring her sunflowers back to Taiga.

I open my mind to the vague signatures that remain alive within the forest, searching for the one that would match the ice-breathing filly. When I find that signature, I shift my weight and move into a trot. When I get closer, I whicker out a soft greeting to her so I don’t startle or frighten her (because we live in a time of monsters). “Roselin,” I say, softly as I draw to a stop before her. I don’t hesitate to get right into it. “I’ve been thinking about your sunflowers, and though the sun is gone, I think I’ve figured out a way that we can still look for them. So, when we find them, after the sun returns, we can bring them back to Taiga.” I stop here to wait for a response, slightly nervous, though I’m not exactly sure why.

Memorie

Image by Calcifer

[Roselin]

There is nothing that Roselin can do in this darkness and she feels useless.

Her younger brother Reave was growing and testing out his newfound independence. There was no need to keep as much of an eye on him as before. Oren was always everywhere and anywhere; he had a million questions to ask and therefore a million answers to seek. And there was enough of a gap in age between herself and her two older brothers that they already had families of their own. She didn't want to be another burden in this troubled world.

Roselin - her mother's only daughter - was stuck in the middle.
And just like the darkness, it left her feeling restless and without a purpose.

She couldn't heal as some of her siblings could. She didn't have that particular brand of mindreading as the rest of her family. Rose had never found any glimpses of the past. Where they all are variations of chestnuts,  she is as dark as this night that never leaves. The adolescent sighs, exhaling a small tendril of silver smoke into the dim forest. She could do that, she reminds herself.

But how her ability to freeze would do anything to help their current situation was beyond her. Without sunlight, much of Taiga's flora had wilted (except for the aid that Borderline and her daughter, Memorie, provided). She couldn't fight and so the patrolling was left to those who were more able-bodied: Yanhua, the nameless stallion that had followed Cheri to Taiga, and Nashua when he returned from his duties on the Isle.

The answer comes from plant-magic cousin @[Memorie]. Roselin - whose mind had been turning in all the ways she might help Taiga - gets a reply from the horned yearling. When the chestnut whickers towards her, the silver-black mare stops and searches through the shadows for her cousin. With her soft glow, it doesn't take long to spot the younger filly, and Roselin nickers out a greeting of her own. The glowing girl tells her that she has thought of Rose and her wish to bring sunflowers to Taiga. It feels like another life since that conversation (and certainly a different world, when the sun was still shining) but Memorie has an idea and Rose tilts her head curiously, an ear pricking forward to hear the other mare out.

"Okay," Roselin says and then waits. "What is your plan?"

i am so sorry that this took so long.

[Memorie]

one lives in hope of becoming a memory

@[Roselin] seems down. I could tell by the emotional signature I had picked up in searching for her, but in her presence, that feeling is a lot stronger. So, before anything, I give her a soft, encouraging smile that I hope she can see through the shadows that surround us. I know that the last year had been incredibly difficult for everyone, and that made the encouragement we could give one another all the more important. Not only that, but I hope that the conversation we are about to have will help lift her spirits.

I smile when she asks what my plan is. It is not unlike the encouraging smile I had given her before, but also shows the excitement and thrill that I feel over the prospect of doing something instead of just sitting beneath the redwood canopy, waiting for the sun to filter through once more. “Well,” I say, and then I pause for just a brief second while I put the words together in my head. “I have been studying all of the dead plants here in Taiga. Did you know that plants have emotions?” And since I feel like I could go on and on about the details, I try to condense my explanation as best as possible so as not to confuse her. “Well, their emotions are very basic, unlike our immensely complex emotions. Happiness and sadness. I’ve figured out what plants need in order to grow and survive on their own based on their emotions: how much sunlight they need, the types of soils, climates, etc., as well as how they grow. I pause here for a moment, giving Roselin time to ask any questions is she has them, though my expression also indicates that I am not done.

For the first time in a long time, I feel like maybe there could be more purpose to my life than just waiting around in Taiga for the sun to come back, and I hope that my aunt will feel the same. Without realizing it, I start shifting back and forth on my hooves, shifting my weight as if dancing in excitement. Well, I guess it’s not really “as if,” so much as that’s exactly what’s happening. I smile brightly at her. “So what I was thinking is that I could look for their signature. You sent me a memory, and even though it’s not the best quality memory, I could still tell a lot from it. I’m hoping that’s enough that I can search for their signature in lands similar to that where you mum came from. Even if they aren’t growing now, I can still study dead plants.” My hope is that the sunflowers will have grown recently enough that they haven’t decayed yet, but I am not going to voice that to her. The last thing she needed right now was a reason to feel even more useless than she already does.

Image by Calcifer

[Roselin]

Roselin can see the smile that her cousin wears and so she tries to lift hers.

If Memorie can find a reason to smile, so can she. The flaxen-maned girl shares that encouragement with Rose and the dark adolescent starts to glow with the warm feeling that the other has fostered between them. The light coming from her socks is not the only thing shining between them and soon the excitement that Mem has kindling in her kind smile is what has Roselin grinning with a wildfire one of her own.

Her blue eyes widen briefly as the chestnut filly starts to explain that plants have feelings; that they have emotions similar to their own. A more primitive version of them but Memorie has figured out how to fuel those emotions into plants and turn them into something that they might harvest here in Taiga. "Winds," Roselin exhales when her cousin is done explaining everything that she has learned.

@[Memorie] is brimming with all this information, so much that she dances.

Laughing, Roselin momentarily joins in and lifts one slender leg after another. It's a silly moment - one that doesn't bring them any closer to finding sunflowers or learning where Lilliana has gone - but it is a much-needed one. If the sun had still been shining, two fillies tossing up their heels and foolishly playing in the Taiga woods wouldn't have been out of place. But their current world is one about survival and almost every action is geared towards that goal. They survive but their current circumstances have left few moments for actually living.

"Okay," says Roselin with renewed energy. "Do you need a better one?" she suddenly asks, remembering that Memorie had said what Rose had recalled of the flowers hadn't been the best. It was a hazy, borrowed memory from one of Lilliana's stories. A vision of a land that she has never seen from an aunt that she has never met. "We could always ask Nash," Roselin suggests. "Or perhaps your dad. They both knew Aunt Elena and might have a better memory."