Why had they fallen apart?
He isn’t sure that he remembers anymore. Isn’t sure of anything of his former life except that Agetta had glowed so brilliantly in the center of it. He knows that he carries the heavy weight of guilt in his chest though. A stone that he could never quite rid himself of. Because no matter how much his love for Agetta had warmed him like the sun, he knew it meant destruction for others. He knew he had hurt her.
The truth of his betrayal, regardless of the how and the why, sits bitterly on his tongue. He wants to hold her close. He wants to tell her that she is still beautiful and that the world could be beautiful for her too, but he lost that right so long ago. He lost the right to be anything, say anything. He doesn’t deserve it.
“It takes a while,” he says, even though she knows. He flinches at her honesty and he tucks his eagle wings in closer as the wind picks up. Fights the urge to shield her with them, to warm her as he once might have. “I’m so sorry,” because this is the only thing he can give her now—this guilt, this apology.
The silence stretches between them again. Awkward and unyielding. Difficult to traverse as he realizes that the space between them is so much more than these few feet. Than the simple air that they breathe.
“What can I do?”
His voice is quieter, nearly hoarse with his need to try and help. To try and fix this. Perhaps he cannot figure out the root of his own unhappiness, his unsettled heart, but he could try and help with hers.
“Anonya,” he hates that her name lingers, “let me try and help.”
PLUME
but my heart, it don’t beat, it don’t beat the way it used to