isn't it lovely all alone, heart made of glass, my mind of stone
She feels different during the day.
In the night she can at least see the stars, she can seek the closeness of them even if she cannot go back. She can cloak herself in starlight, can braid it through the tendrils of her mane, can let the starlight swallow her until the captive star inside of her chest almost feels sated. And in the night the light that surrounded her pulsated softly, matching the rhythm of the stars above, so that she might close her eyes and pretend, just for a moment, that she is suspended in a galaxy nowhere near here.
But daylight chases all of that away. Daylight leaves her all but entirely mortal, with the sun smothering her glow, and the starlight she kept close to her fading away with the coming of the dawn.
She thinks the word is ‘disappointment’, but the feeling only just barely touches the edges of her. It fades away as she falls back into her routine, the one where she goes somewhere so that she might watch them, to continue to learn ways to mimic them in hopes that someday it will become second nature – innate and natural. It has become easier, but she is afraid she will always be emotionally clumsy in this equine form, with her forced smiles and her too-dark eyes.
He appears from the shadows of the trees, catching her off guard, and involuntarily a flash of light explodes from nearly every pore of her. She spins, white mane flying like a cloud around her face, aubergine eyes sharpening onto him. She relaxes, though it is hardly visible – she is always intense and rigid, and the lack of emotion in her eyes does little to soften her features. “I didn’t see you there,” she tells him, and she wonders if she is supposed to apologize, or if he is supposed to. She isn’t sure if he was wrong for startling her or if she was wrong for being startled. Maybe neither of them are wrong.
Her head tilts, the boom of his voice still echoing in her ears. Her lips turn into a strange little smile, and she says, “Your voice reminds me of trapped thunder.”
