06-16-2020, 09:27 AM
There is little that he thinks anyone can do - in fact, it is his belief that emotionally, if someone were to help him, he’d fall once more and get hurt eventually, just in another way. Since he’s not ready for that, he doesn’t let them in. At least, well, the kids are a relatively safe bet, as long as he doesn’t mingle with their lives when they leave; so long as he steels himself for their departure and knows they never come back.
So he steels himself, and doesn’t let her touch, however comforting, reach to his heart. It’s endearing of her to try, really - but he only told her because she needed to know, not because he really wanted to. That’s the sad truth, or so he tells himself. It had been in a way a relief, to have someone know how he felt about it, but the past is in the past. His wife... his ex-wife had no place in the future.
He nevertheless smiles a bit at her words. ”Fairy-sent, quite literally. But it’s no safe haven any more - no more than other lands at any rate. None of the lands are now what they once were, or had been - but for Taiga that’s a good thing. It rose stronger after it had been destroyed, and perhaps that’s what the Isle needed too.” he mesmerises. Once, the fairies had burned and flooded it (as if one was not enough), and it had stayed “that burnt forest” for... he’d estimate a decade, but he can’t be entirely sure. It had been done before his return to Beqanna, and only been healed when the fairies brought the Isle and other safe havens to life.
But Izora tells a different story. One of a mare lost and alone, faced with terrible sickness and wars when she should have been given a chance to start over. A child lost... and a mare in the river. He could see it now - could only be thankful for the fate that brought Aten to her or vice versa. She said she wasn’t strong enough? He shakes his head. ”I don’t think strength had anything to do with it,” he interjects - in his opinion all women are strong enough, and didn’t she allow Aten to rescue her? Sometimes it just needs a mirror t be revived is all. With a bit of a smile he remembers Wrena, but then Izora tells him that love can give the strength to fight. He mulls that over, then shrugs. ”Maybe it’s a different kind of love I need.” These days, he does everything to keep Icicle Isle alive, and takes in the boys because... well, perhaps young lost teenagers are easier to love and let go, and he doesn’t want to fall as deeply and badly as he once had. Could anyone blame him for sticking to the family-kind of love and rejecting the others? He doesn’t think so, but he would acknowledge that he isn’t the most objective jury.
It’s not so simple, however, to just let it all go when you've built walls like he has; it takes lots of time and double that effort to bring them down, and without an outside force he doesn’t even start. He looks down on the waterfall, remembering the one in Ischia, where he met his second end. ”Have you ever considered jumping?” he finds himself asking - a similar question he once asked a mad Sabra, though she’d interpret differently and asked him to act up on it. He doesn’t think Izora would, and honestly doesn’t know her to be immortal so he wouldn’t ask it of her. Besides, it would be inconvenient if he died now, so he doesn’t. ”Perhaps we’d better get down the safe way to swim though. Do you know if there’s a cave?” Beqanna’s wonders often had ones - he couldn’t explain why, but there was always a secret spot somewhere. It’d take a lifetime to find them all - but time is on his side, he knows.
So he steels himself, and doesn’t let her touch, however comforting, reach to his heart. It’s endearing of her to try, really - but he only told her because she needed to know, not because he really wanted to. That’s the sad truth, or so he tells himself. It had been in a way a relief, to have someone know how he felt about it, but the past is in the past. His wife... his ex-wife had no place in the future.
He nevertheless smiles a bit at her words. ”Fairy-sent, quite literally. But it’s no safe haven any more - no more than other lands at any rate. None of the lands are now what they once were, or had been - but for Taiga that’s a good thing. It rose stronger after it had been destroyed, and perhaps that’s what the Isle needed too.” he mesmerises. Once, the fairies had burned and flooded it (as if one was not enough), and it had stayed “that burnt forest” for... he’d estimate a decade, but he can’t be entirely sure. It had been done before his return to Beqanna, and only been healed when the fairies brought the Isle and other safe havens to life.
But Izora tells a different story. One of a mare lost and alone, faced with terrible sickness and wars when she should have been given a chance to start over. A child lost... and a mare in the river. He could see it now - could only be thankful for the fate that brought Aten to her or vice versa. She said she wasn’t strong enough? He shakes his head. ”I don’t think strength had anything to do with it,” he interjects - in his opinion all women are strong enough, and didn’t she allow Aten to rescue her? Sometimes it just needs a mirror t be revived is all. With a bit of a smile he remembers Wrena, but then Izora tells him that love can give the strength to fight. He mulls that over, then shrugs. ”Maybe it’s a different kind of love I need.” These days, he does everything to keep Icicle Isle alive, and takes in the boys because... well, perhaps young lost teenagers are easier to love and let go, and he doesn’t want to fall as deeply and badly as he once had. Could anyone blame him for sticking to the family-kind of love and rejecting the others? He doesn’t think so, but he would acknowledge that he isn’t the most objective jury.
It’s not so simple, however, to just let it all go when you've built walls like he has; it takes lots of time and double that effort to bring them down, and without an outside force he doesn’t even start. He looks down on the waterfall, remembering the one in Ischia, where he met his second end. ”Have you ever considered jumping?” he finds himself asking - a similar question he once asked a mad Sabra, though she’d interpret differently and asked him to act up on it. He doesn’t think Izora would, and honestly doesn’t know her to be immortal so he wouldn’t ask it of her. Besides, it would be inconvenient if he died now, so he doesn’t. ”Perhaps we’d better get down the safe way to swim though. Do you know if there’s a cave?” Beqanna’s wonders often had ones - he couldn’t explain why, but there was always a secret spot somewhere. It’d take a lifetime to find them all - but time is on his side, he knows.
nothing burns like the cold
Leilan
@[Izora Lethia]
Two things I know I can make: pretty kids, and people mad.
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