12-15-2020, 08:23 PM
despite the overwhelming odds, tomorrow came
Watching Memorie play and talking with @[lilliana] as we walked along the beach made me feel eternally grateful. Grateful to be back in Taiga. Grateful to see Memorie so happy meeting her family. Grateful to feel better. I can see now that I had made the right choice to return, if not for myself, but for the little filly that was romping around with a star. And while I am eternally grateful, I’m still wary. It would take some time for me to really feel like this was my family as much as it was Memorie’s. A part of me is afraid I’ll screw everything all up again, especially now that my emotions were so…involved. And a part of me worries that I will not be able to handle sharing what I once thought was mine and only mine.
I find my mind wandering again, so I pull it back to the conversation. I smile up at the star that my child is so enamored with. I can only imagine what it is like to have a star suddenly appear and bond with you. But I imagine it makes life a little less lonely, especially on those nights where sleep is but a memory, half a breath away, but unable to quite get there.
When Lilliana invites us to come around to play with Roselin, I smile. “I think I’ll have to take you up on that. How old is Roselin?” I find it just as easy to ask about her children as I do to talk about my own. After all, now that we share motherhood in common, I can fully understand the love that she has for them.
If I had time, I would have told Lilliana that I was more than happy to help heal Taiga, and that I plan on returning my attention to the wounds that are still there. But alas, Memorie comes squealing through and hides behind the chestnut mare. She plays hide-and-seek with him, dodging one way as Leonidas bounces the other way, giggling like a wild child. And when her grandmother turns around to her and asks if they should show the star that Taigan’s never give up, she rears excitedly and shouts “Let’s show him, gramma!” I can’t help but laugh as I watch the antics.
I find my mind wandering again, so I pull it back to the conversation. I smile up at the star that my child is so enamored with. I can only imagine what it is like to have a star suddenly appear and bond with you. But I imagine it makes life a little less lonely, especially on those nights where sleep is but a memory, half a breath away, but unable to quite get there.
When Lilliana invites us to come around to play with Roselin, I smile. “I think I’ll have to take you up on that. How old is Roselin?” I find it just as easy to ask about her children as I do to talk about my own. After all, now that we share motherhood in common, I can fully understand the love that she has for them.
If I had time, I would have told Lilliana that I was more than happy to help heal Taiga, and that I plan on returning my attention to the wounds that are still there. But alas, Memorie comes squealing through and hides behind the chestnut mare. She plays hide-and-seek with him, dodging one way as Leonidas bounces the other way, giggling like a wild child. And when her grandmother turns around to her and asks if they should show the star that Taigan’s never give up, she rears excitedly and shouts “Let’s show him, gramma!” I can’t help but laugh as I watch the antics.
borderline
