04-20-2021, 08:30 PM
( this world will have the wolves outside your door
make you leave all that you love to fight a war
and never tell you what you're dying for )
make you leave all that you love to fight a war
and never tell you what you're dying for )
It occurs to him that he should ask where he might find her but the moment passes before he can seize the opportunity and he’s just old enough to understand what it means to be self-conscious and the last thing he wants to do is look stupid. Especially after his display on the beach, the memory of which will no doubt embarrass him for weeks when he actually lets himself think about it later.
(And what does it mean that his stomach does a little flip when she says that she’ll keep it in mind? Will she look for him by the ocean? Will he actually see her again someday? Is it stupid to even think about it? Probably. Just silly things kids say.)
He watches her drink but tries to do it without staring. Because everything he does suddenly feels kind of obvious, so he turns his gaze further inland and wonders if there are monsters and if they look the same here as they do where she’s from and if maybe he should have said that he’s seen some, too to sound braver than he actually is. And then he wonders why it should matter or why he should care what he sounds like and he feels kind of stupid for that, too and heat rises in his cheeks and he wants to think about anything else but the thought gets stuck in his head.
Then she says she won’t forget and he draws his focus back to her face and he starts to think maybe it’s not just some silly thing that kids say and his stomach does another little flip and he smiles. He can’t help himself. He smiles and he nods and he swallows, too because it feels like his heart’s going to crawl up out of his throat. “I won’t either,” he tells her, even though she hasn’t told him where he might find her. It feels like the right thing to say.
She thanks him even though there’s nothing to thank him for and he wants to tell her as much but he’s distracted by her smile. And then he laughs and surprises himself with the sound of it. “What do you mean?” he asks brightly. “Rocks don’t just break themselves!” he says and then reaches out to nudge her. “It had to have been you!”
(And what does it mean that his stomach does a little flip when she says that she’ll keep it in mind? Will she look for him by the ocean? Will he actually see her again someday? Is it stupid to even think about it? Probably. Just silly things kids say.)
He watches her drink but tries to do it without staring. Because everything he does suddenly feels kind of obvious, so he turns his gaze further inland and wonders if there are monsters and if they look the same here as they do where she’s from and if maybe he should have said that he’s seen some, too to sound braver than he actually is. And then he wonders why it should matter or why he should care what he sounds like and he feels kind of stupid for that, too and heat rises in his cheeks and he wants to think about anything else but the thought gets stuck in his head.
Then she says she won’t forget and he draws his focus back to her face and he starts to think maybe it’s not just some silly thing that kids say and his stomach does another little flip and he smiles. He can’t help himself. He smiles and he nods and he swallows, too because it feels like his heart’s going to crawl up out of his throat. “I won’t either,” he tells her, even though she hasn’t told him where he might find her. It feels like the right thing to say.
She thanks him even though there’s nothing to thank him for and he wants to tell her as much but he’s distracted by her smile. And then he laughs and surprises himself with the sound of it. “What do you mean?” he asks brightly. “Rocks don’t just break themselves!” he says and then reaches out to nudge her. “It had to have been you!”
starlore
@[Cheri]