06-06-2021, 11:21 PM
Ryatah
She can feel the hopelessness of it all the longer the conversation continues.
Hopeless, because it feels as though they are both drowning beneath the surface, and even though they can see the light up above it never seems to get any closer. She cannot speak for him, but for her, it is crushing. It crushes her chest and collapses into her lungs, it crushes her hope and drowns her with despair. There is nothing she can say to him to get him to see, nothing she can do to amend whatever he feels had been wronged.
But she tries, because she is eternally a fool that only wants to please, that only wants to rectify all her mistakes.
“I never meant to reject you Ashhal, I was afraid,” she can feel the anger that radiates from him and his voice, but hers does not ascend to match it. No matter the frustration that knots in her chest, she cannot bring herself to stray from the quiet that she always is, even if she can feel her resolve begin to crumble. If she could press every emotion and thought directly into his veins so that might understand, she would, but all she has is a string of nearly incoherent thoughts and emotions that she tries to put into words. “I never expected you to just blindly believe anything, but you never gave me the chance to show you.”
She does not flinch beneath his cruelty, even though she wants to. She is resolute and silent, her dark eyes locked with his until he is finished. She is not always as strong as she liked to be, and it would so much easier to fold beneath his stare, but for once his words glance off of her rather than burrowing beneath her skin.
She shakes her head, closing her eyes for a moment with a sigh.
She opens them, looking at him with a soft kind of sadness.
“No, it will never change anything. Nothing will ever change between you and I, because Atrox did not force me to be patient. He did not punish me for my past, he did not hang every mistake I have made over my head as an excuse of why he couldn’t love me, and I showed him the same grace that he showed me.” She pauses, stepping back as she does so, preparing to leave. “I love Atrox, and there is a reason that no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever worked with anyone else. Including you.”
Hopeless, because it feels as though they are both drowning beneath the surface, and even though they can see the light up above it never seems to get any closer. She cannot speak for him, but for her, it is crushing. It crushes her chest and collapses into her lungs, it crushes her hope and drowns her with despair. There is nothing she can say to him to get him to see, nothing she can do to amend whatever he feels had been wronged.
But she tries, because she is eternally a fool that only wants to please, that only wants to rectify all her mistakes.
“I never meant to reject you Ashhal, I was afraid,” she can feel the anger that radiates from him and his voice, but hers does not ascend to match it. No matter the frustration that knots in her chest, she cannot bring herself to stray from the quiet that she always is, even if she can feel her resolve begin to crumble. If she could press every emotion and thought directly into his veins so that might understand, she would, but all she has is a string of nearly incoherent thoughts and emotions that she tries to put into words. “I never expected you to just blindly believe anything, but you never gave me the chance to show you.”
She does not flinch beneath his cruelty, even though she wants to. She is resolute and silent, her dark eyes locked with his until he is finished. She is not always as strong as she liked to be, and it would so much easier to fold beneath his stare, but for once his words glance off of her rather than burrowing beneath her skin.
She shakes her head, closing her eyes for a moment with a sigh.
She opens them, looking at him with a soft kind of sadness.
“No, it will never change anything. Nothing will ever change between you and I, because Atrox did not force me to be patient. He did not punish me for my past, he did not hang every mistake I have made over my head as an excuse of why he couldn’t love me, and I showed him the same grace that he showed me.” She pauses, stepping back as she does so, preparing to leave. “I love Atrox, and there is a reason that no matter how hard I tried, nothing ever worked with anyone else. Including you.”
EVEN ANGELS HAVE THEIR WICKED SCHEMES
@Ashhal