that day even the sun was afraid of you and the weight you carried
He thinks of her—but only when he is alone and it is quiet. She is a precious thing that he tucks away. A sweet thing that he treasures and does not trust to leave open to fade beneath the harsh sunlight. No. He keeps her hidden. Secret. Thinks of her only when he is by himself walking through the abandoned meadow at night with only the moonlight as his companion, with only the shadows that trail him.
He thinks of her then.
Of the dreamworld that she created, for him. How she could not possibly be real and how much he longed for her to be anyway. How it was a cruel trick for his mind to conjure something like her to comfort him when he could only visit her when he slept and how he tried desperately to avoid sleep these days.
But still, he thinks of her.
And when sleep does find him again—even his magic cannot stave it off forever—he slips into the world that feels distinctly her own again, finding the door that unlocks it as if on accident. He stumbles through and feels something pressing on the edges. Something dark that rumbles on the edge of his conscious, but he merely chalks it up to his own demons. Writes it off as nothing more than what waits for him outside.
Instead, he begins to walk through the meadow that she has crafted. The flowers that bloom so beautifully. He walks until he finds her there amongst them and his golden face softens. Suddenly, he is not cursed and he is not damned. He’s just the boy who she found in her dreams and he gives her a brilliant smile.
“Iridian,” he says her name like he has said it every night and not only thought of it so quietly.
There’s so much he wants to say—so much he should say. He should tell her that he’s sorry that he hasn’t been able to find her. He should tell her everything that he has kept from her. The ugly truths of him. But he is convinced she is just a figment of his imagination. A brilliant mirage he has made all for himself.
So he just smiles and gives himself this fleeting relief, this brief moment of joy.
“I’ve missed you,” he finally says and this is undeniably true.
so you saluted every ghost you've ever prayed to and then buried it where bones are buried
@[iridian]