[private] the sky is falling but we'll get through it

[Selaphiel]

selaphiel

these days i don’t pray when i close my eyes

He spends his days looking to the sea now.
Imagining. Wondering if life might be simpler there.

It aches to think of leaving but it aches to think of staying, too.

He stands now in no place in particular, breathing, his gaze cast toward the horizon. Someplace else. Because he is tired, Selaphiel, and he wonders if there is any place in the world that does not stink of death. 

If there is any place he might escape.

How heavy his head.
And there is a pressure mounting in his chest as he stands there, thinking about the sea. Steady, steady, steady. And a burning in the eyes. A crushing vise wrapped around his windpipe as he draws in a staggered breath and turns his heavy head.

He sees her there, burning. He drags in a breath, a white-knuckled fist clenched in the cage of his chest where his heart should be. Pain, pain, pain. And he knows that there is a difference in sensing a death that had nothing to do with him and a death he should have prevented.

This is his payback. He feels it, too. It eats him alive, too. The pain cannibalizes him as the two of them stand there in the morning light, separate but together. Bound by this.

He does not call out to her, he only watches and tries to find a name for all of the darkness that consumes him. 

I just bite my tongue a bit harder

@[Mazikeen]