[private] I hate you because I think of you

[Obscene]

I can see through you, see your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me

He doesn’t remember what had happened that day by the River. He never does when he changes. Washes of color, sounds, and smell will come over him but he never understands their placement or what they mean. Sometimes he is violently sick, as if the things he had consumed as the snake don’t agree with his equine stomach. Sometimes nothing happens at all. That day after the river had been like a hangover, like the snake had pushed past even its own limits that time. He doesn’t want a repeat of it.

He doesn’t want to harm her despite how much he hates her.
She seems intent on pushing him there.

No. She says and he hisses. She stands her ground and he feels a thrill of anticipation. If this had happened a year ago he would have thrived on it, would have taken it as an invitation for cruel banter, would have jumped on the opportunity. But things had changed. They had both changed, it seemed. She presses him, insists they need to talk and he snorts in disbelief. What could they possibly have to talk about? The scales shimmer as they take hold, his eyes contract and narrow, and he’s about to tell her to fuck off in an even less friendly way when she reaches for him.

Her muzzle finds its way to rest on the slickness beneath the long ribboned threads of his gold and black mane and he shudders. And stills beneath her touch as the scales seem to snap back beneath the fur and the snake stops moving. The look of surprise he gives her is real and probably the most honest expression he’s ever given her this far.

Obscene had come to have many epiphanies in the last few days and it seems he’s about to have another one. One that would settle just as badly as the others. Something in him had hated Cheri when he had been mortal, had hated most if not all things in a world that had not exactly been kind to him. He had thought the snake was simply a cunning joke when he had become Fae, a trick as faeries liked to do. A price he had to pay. But now he understands. He truly understands what exactly the serpent was. It was a part of himself that had morphed into something else. Something hungry and dark and angry all the time. Something that wanted to crush the world entirerly. The serpent hated Cheri… and feared her.

And when it comes down to it… he didn’t really hate Cheri as much as he thought he had.
Not anymore.

For a moment he simply breathes her in, so close to him, as his crimson pupils dilate and become normal again. Perhaps it was her magic that had somehow charmed the creature within him and he feels the flare of anger again, sick of all the powers that were constantly being pressed on and inside him. His feelings regarding the green and onyx mare before him become a tangled web of confusion (mixed with the sudden surge of guilt he feels regarding the golden mare back home) and so he falls back into what he knows best, clutching to the belief that as long as she hated him, she would at least be safe from him.

“You always have to be so infuriatingly perfect don’t you? Always have to fling your magic at me.” He sneers at her, a flicker of something strange in the depths of red. “You may have been handed a kingdom and you may think you deserve to be Queen but I’ll warn you of this, just once. This world is a bitter place and the sooner you recognize it the better off you’ll be. You called me a monster once but you’ll soon come to find that true monsters are all around you and they’re wearing the faces of those you love most. They are waiting Cheri, waiting for you to fuck up so they can benefit from it.” An old wound begins festering as he remembers the way Offsprings shoulders always seemed to sag and the sadness that had always lingered in the gold of his dam’s eyes despite the smile on her face.

And then there’s the Curse in Hyaline. Was she ready for that? To have her chest ripped and that open heart eaten? He doubts it. He thinks of the starry mare and her broken legs but its Cheri’s face the mare wears now and he is suddenly overwhelmed by all it. “Damn it Cheri.” He snarls and turns his face from her, rage in his eyes but it’s not directed at her. Not this time.

Not once in all of that does he realize that he hasn’t moved away from her touch.

obscene

@Cheri