[private] I hate you because I think of you

[Obscene]

I can see through you, see your true colors
Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me

When he had told her that he was undone by her, he had meant it even though he had been able to lie. He had recognized it the moment he had laid eyes on her, that she could destroy him in ways that no other could. Just as his father had done when he had disappeared and left his mother. He had long ago thought having a hard heart, one made of unyielding rock, would protect him from such things. That the more he could make himself not care, the less hurt he could become. Then when he had felt the fire of his hatred, he had found that more comforting and wrapped himself in the flames of their bickering which was warmer than the cold bite of the protective armor he had made with his words. He hadn't expected that neglected thing in his chest to actually feel anything for anyone. But it had. It cared for Aela, despite whatever resentment he held towards her, and had loved her. As a friend and then some but he knew he would never hold the place in her heart that his Champion did. It cared for Revelrie and Skandar and Wherewolf and whatever other band of misfits had ended up amongst the wildflowers. That's what the Pampas had really become, a court for those that didn't really belong anywhere else. Misunderstood, dangerous, wonderful. 

Cheri was perilous in ways one wouldn’t expect, ways she couldn’t even see herself. It’s what had drawn him to her to begin with, that unapologetic boldness. The silent strength that she radiates even when he had been his most cruel to her, even when he had made her cry. Part of him would never get tired of annoying her but he finds he no longer wants to be the reason behind her tears.

Her breath is warm against his glittering neck and he finds he cannot break this spell beneath her lingering touch. As if he was wearing the golden bridle again in that other world, snared by her. The dark Fae had always hated the idea of being held in any sort of captivity and even now he champs his teeth in agitation. But he still can’t seem to move away from her, he can’t find the desire to place any distance between them.

Her voice is gentle but firm after his rant (she even laughs) and his pointed ears flick backward, annoyed. He remains quiet, reluctantly listening even as his glittering gaze remains on the group behind her only to flash back to her as she speaks of being underestimated and the cool look he gives her is one of disappointment. Is that what she thought, that he underestimated her? Perhaps at times, he had.

He had certainly wanted to bring her low. It had made him feel better to bring her down where he was, to place himself higher than her. There had been times when he had certainly enjoyed frightening her, seeing her anger flash in those bright green eyes. So when had it changed? When did he start looking for her smile instead of her frown? He finds it now as she stares up at him, lifting her delicate head so that the crystals along her forehead sparkle with the light of the sun. Achingly beautiful, so much so that it brings the smug smirk back to his lips as he becomes more uncomfortable than he had ever been in his life.

He was tired of it. All of it.

But he didn’t see how it could be any different. Or what she could possibly want from him. His Fae curiosity flickers though until he finally, gruffly, asks. “And what would you suggest?”

obscene

@Cheri