[private] this is going to bring me to my knees; Mazikeen

[Mazikeen]

Maybe this will be the thing that finally drowns out that growing sense of something in the back of her mind. That golden light still managing to exist in the shadows and fire, in the empty places inside of her. Firion had snapped at her for giving up, after all, maybe this would appease that part of him he had left behind. She was sick of having pieces of others inside of her, wanting nothing more than to peel both black shadows and golden light from her so she could know nothing but her own fire no matter how hollow it had become. But Mazikeen didn’t have magic like they did, there was no way for her to pry those pieces out. Her strength lay in other areas. And she was stronger than him. She believed that with all that was left of her heart even as she tries to shut out a kinder voice telling her the same thing. She would have been content to simply be his sword, to let him guide her. Ambition had never been something Mazikeen cared for, being beside him could have been enough. When he steps closer, Mazikeen does not know what she’ll do - so she stands there, bristling, and waits like a coiled viper. Will he press close, try to mend this the same way they’ve distracted each other over and over? Will he attack? She finds the second more exciting now, her interest in the first fading as her frustration grows. She is no longer content to be distracted. She is burning alive and everyone, everything, else needs to burn with her. And maybe in the cold ashes left behind she will find some version of relief. He looks away from her and Mazikeen huffs out a quiet laugh - her gaze not straying from him. She no longer cares enough to be aggravated by however she affects him. As the year had stretched out, the echoes of her former self had gotten fainter and fainter - leaving her so close to that shell he had first made when he tore out her emotions. Even her anger feels different than it had that day on Islandres when she had bitten his head off. It’s both colder and emptier - matching the rest of her. “Let me leave” she mimics him, voice full of scorn. “You sound more and more like Gale all the time. The whole world of power at your grasp, literally fed by misery, and you turn away from it.” It does not matter to her anymore that she was the reason he had - that knowledge just makes it worse. She had not wanted that, just as she had not wanted him to stop hurting her. He’d shifted vital parts of her, shown her what it was to be free, and then just stopped. “The pair of you are useless.” She snarls the words out even though this is not their greatest crime. She felt useless too - she felt tamed. She had been frustrated for so long but had done little to ease it, content to focus on him and let dreams of the future soothe away whatever concerns she had. It is not hard to let that frustration grow in her again until her fire aura bursts to life around her the same second she lunges for him again, jaws snapping with the intent to hurt, not kill. For now she just wants to see if she can drag a fight out of him first. m a z i k e e n .

 

@ Gale