09-24-2015, 12:16 AM
you taught me the courage of stars before you left
Leap without looking.
She watches him silently for a moment, an internal battle raging within the confines of her shattered chest. There was something dangerously tempting about the freedom he offered her, the release from the chaotic churning of her thoughts. But the newness of her hurt, of the wounds on her heart and on her pride sang to her of caution. Her expression deepened, would be as clear to him as her thoughts. The quiet longing, the crippling indecision, all nestled curiously within the hollows and lines of her drawn, delicate face.
“Okay” She says suddenly, her jaw clenching and releasing just once as her eyes settled over his. “I’ll leap.” And her voice is strangely soft. It doesn’t wither at the center, doesn’t crumble at the edges, it’s just gentle. Just calm.
She shifts closer to him and their hips and shoulders brush every few strides. It isn’t deliberate, but it’s welcome, though she hardly notices at first as she sorts through the thoughts floating like clouds through her mind. She would leap with him for a while, for as long as it took for her feet to find solid ground, but she had a family to return to, a family (though spilled across multiple kingdoms) that meant more to her than hiding from her own demons.
She sighs tensely, though the tension had faded some, and her mouth brushes across the gold of his neck to regain his attention. “You said I could ask you anything,” she starts with a furrowed brow that matched the uncertain curl to the shape of her mouth, “but I only have one question.” She slows to a halt, drawing away from him so that the cold could filter back in between them. “Have you ever hurt someone this way?”
And she isn’t asking about relationships he’s had or hearts he’s broken, she’s asking about the poisonous lie Makai had knit. About the false life he had led with her and the love he had promised when there was nothing in him to give. She winced as a new wave of sickness pulled her back under. But mostly, and though she hadn’t asked, the answer she was looking for was why.
Her green eyes darkened, deepening with regret as she shook her head and turned from him again. “You know, it doesn’t matter. It did though, it meant everything. And this time as she paced beside him, though her skin ached for the warmth of closeness, she kept the cool morning between them. “Just don’t ever lie to me.” She said turning her head to look at him. “I’d rather face the pain of a truth than the poison of a lie.” Despite her careful distance, her nose reaches across to brush his shoulder as she turns to him with the ghost of a smile on her lips.
“If it’s been while, then I feel obliged to remind you that company can be overrated,” she says, turning to look forward into the rising sun, “and there’s a rumor going around that I have terrible taste.”
She watches him silently for a moment, an internal battle raging within the confines of her shattered chest. There was something dangerously tempting about the freedom he offered her, the release from the chaotic churning of her thoughts. But the newness of her hurt, of the wounds on her heart and on her pride sang to her of caution. Her expression deepened, would be as clear to him as her thoughts. The quiet longing, the crippling indecision, all nestled curiously within the hollows and lines of her drawn, delicate face.
“Okay” She says suddenly, her jaw clenching and releasing just once as her eyes settled over his. “I’ll leap.” And her voice is strangely soft. It doesn’t wither at the center, doesn’t crumble at the edges, it’s just gentle. Just calm.
She shifts closer to him and their hips and shoulders brush every few strides. It isn’t deliberate, but it’s welcome, though she hardly notices at first as she sorts through the thoughts floating like clouds through her mind. She would leap with him for a while, for as long as it took for her feet to find solid ground, but she had a family to return to, a family (though spilled across multiple kingdoms) that meant more to her than hiding from her own demons.
She sighs tensely, though the tension had faded some, and her mouth brushes across the gold of his neck to regain his attention. “You said I could ask you anything,” she starts with a furrowed brow that matched the uncertain curl to the shape of her mouth, “but I only have one question.” She slows to a halt, drawing away from him so that the cold could filter back in between them. “Have you ever hurt someone this way?”
And she isn’t asking about relationships he’s had or hearts he’s broken, she’s asking about the poisonous lie Makai had knit. About the false life he had led with her and the love he had promised when there was nothing in him to give. She winced as a new wave of sickness pulled her back under. But mostly, and though she hadn’t asked, the answer she was looking for was why.
Her green eyes darkened, deepening with regret as she shook her head and turned from him again. “You know, it doesn’t matter. It did though, it meant everything. And this time as she paced beside him, though her skin ached for the warmth of closeness, she kept the cool morning between them. “Just don’t ever lie to me.” She said turning her head to look at him. “I’d rather face the pain of a truth than the poison of a lie.” Despite her careful distance, her nose reaches across to brush his shoulder as she turns to him with the ghost of a smile on her lips.
“If it’s been while, then I feel obliged to remind you that company can be overrated,” she says, turning to look forward into the rising sun, “and there’s a rumor going around that I have terrible taste.”
how light carries on endlessly, even after death
Oksana