let's hang together; anyone

[Cress]

all that we have amassed sits before us, shattered into ash

Perhaps it is because she is still too young, but Cress has never seen the appeal of children. To carry it for so long, knowing that her feminine figure would be changed forever… that in itself is unappealing. Plus the whole being responsible for another living creature thing… yikes. Cress hasn’t exactly been very responsible with her own life lately; she would probably be a terrible mother. She doesn’t want to think about having children for a long time yet. She just isn’t ready. There is so much responsibility riding on taking care of something she has birthed… gross. Even the thought makes her queasy.

Besides that, there is also the fact that she has no one to create a child with. Her list of eligible fathers isn’t exactly something she’s been working on, after all. There are two that she likes, even admires—Dalten and Demian—but she has made zero effort to further those feelings. Dalten is just a dear friends (she considers him so, at least) and Demian… he is her king. There is simply no point in lusting after one’s monarch, especially when she doesn’t even know if she can trust him. He may have denied saying that she was a failure, but the memory is still fresh in her mind. She may like him, but it is just a crush; she will get over it. There is no point in pursuing it when there is absolutely nothing to pursue.

He’s too busy to even think of reciprocating her feelings anyways.
Not that she would call them ‘feelings.’
It’s more annoying than anything.

So there is no one to provide her with a child, even if she wanted one. Perhaps she should have found love by now—most do, by her age—but she simply has not. She is too scarred (too scared) to love or be loved, but she doesn’t mind too terribly much. She has so much to give to the Valley that she does not need a mate or even a lover. She simply doesn’t have the time… or something like that. Does she feel lonely most days? Certainly, but she won’t give up her position to go and find herself a lover. The thoughts may haunt her, but she simply will not act upon them.

She is so lost in her thoughts that she hardly notices as others come into her line of vision. Her mind slowly drifts back to Demian (does he hate her?) and she trembles, radiating sadness as if it is an illness. She has done nothing wrong but she is still afraid, still terrified that the king she admires so much might really hate her. Eventually she looks up and her eyes fall on Gallows not too far away. “Have I been standing here long?” she murmurs, only half to herself. The mare has a child by her side, and Cress smiles at the already-greying, winged filly as she approaches the two. “Hi there, I’m Cress,” she tells the girl before glancing back up at Gallows. “It is cliché, but she is a beautiful little girl.”

The smile slowly fades from her face and when it is gone, Cress looks positively haunted. “I’m sorry if I intruded, I’ve just been so lost in my own head lately,” she tells Gallows, trying and failing to control the trembling running from her nose to her hind limbs. “Thank you for standing up for me… I couldn’t let them burn me again.”

cress

oxytocin x kindling