I'm wasted, losing time; I'm a foolish, fragile spine
I want all that is not mine; I want him but we're not right
Adaline is filled with fear—but it is not fear of Tyrna. Not for her own safety, at least. It is fear of losing him. It is fear of a life without him. He was the air in her lungs and the bones in her spine and if she were to lose him—oh, if she were to lose him, she would become nothing at all. Even Ledger, who had been but a momentary bright spot in her life, was now gone. Their parents were dead, and she did not have a single friend to her name. All she had in her life was Contagion, and she was losing him.
She was losing him, and she wasn’t sure she’d survive it.
So, yes, she is afraid. Her body trembles with the fear, her veins exploding with it. She swings her head away from him and watches Tyrna collapse onto herself; the whole scene happens in slow motion. Before she knows it, she is scrambling to her feet, blood dripping from the ragged skin on her knees. No, is all she thinks. No this can’t be happening. No I can’t lose him. No, no, no—please no.
He is trying to quell Tyrna and even though her name in his mouth is just salt on the wound, she loves him all the more for it—loves him for the quiet bravery in the glass boy standing between them. As if he could somehow stand up to the tides of fate and not shatter; as if any of them could. He tells her to run, and she chokes on her response so that nothing comes out—but it is clear her response is no. Yes, she will run but it will not be away from the wolf. It will be to Contagion. It will always be to him. Always.
“Stop,” she cries to the wolf standing before them as she throws herself toward her brother. “Please stop,” this time caught in a sob in her throat. But she does not make it. Her legs give out, and she collapses to the ground once more, this time the cracking of her leg more pronounced. It was not a break, at least not a complete one, but it was a fracture—and it was one that would immobilize her. Adaline pays no mind to the blood that begins to seep from the wound though. Her wide, pink eyes are too busy studying the lines of her brother, watching the whole scene play out before her. What have I done?
in the darkness, I will meet my creators
and they will all agree that I'm a suffocator