[private] i won't back down. || magnus

[magnus]

we carry these things inside that no one else can see
they hold us down like anchors; they drown us out at sea

Perhaps the duo was not so different after all. Magnus’ own life was often caught in the cyclical trap of despair and loss. His, however, was often rooted in guilt. It was the emotion that he knew best—the emotion that spread throughout his heart and webbed over his very being. Guilt for not being there to save his parents. Guilt for serving a kingdom that he was ill-suited to serve. Guilt for abandoning them. Guilt for not being able to save them. Guilt for living when she did not. Guilt. It was tied to his core. It dragged him down each morning, stealing the breath from his lungs so that he sometimes woke gasping for air.

Today, he wore the weight lightly; it was a burden he knew well and was long accustomed to. It teased the edges of his vision but could be seen little elsewhere. It faded even more as Magnus gave the full of his attention to the behemoth before him, indulging his curiosity in the conversation. “My name is one that has long been lost to time—often more than once.” There was a bitter edge to Magnus’ smile, although the bitterness was not tied to the loss of his name. Magnus never cared much for others knowing who he was and what he had done in life. It was, instead, the same bitterness as the guilt. The memory of his life.

He shook his head and the smile softened a little. “Aye, my coat is more suitable for the heat.” He glanced back at his sweat-slicked flesh. “Being raised in the jungle will do that to you—but it has been years since I have spent much time in the humidity. I fear I have lost any acclimation I once had.” He snorted when he heard where the black stallion hailed from. “And you from the Tundra. It is a small wonder that your flesh has not simply melted from your bones.” His lips curved into a crooked smile—genuine and open.

“I am from the Gates. It is a touch cooler there, but cannot hold a candle to the cold of your home.”

magnus