Kinley had appeared next to him silently, walking alongside him as she would have done in life. Sometimes he had to remind himself that she was dead and this was only in his mind. But other times he liked to think maybe she was real.
Her little form trudged as melancholy as his own steps, reaching just as high as his withers, only a foot and a half away. It was so tempting to try and touch her, his precious little girl, but he'd forbidden himself from trying. He'd lost his mind enough to see her, he wasn't sure how he'd handle the ability to touch her, as though real. Or possibly worse, being denied her touch when he could see her so clearly. It was best not to know.
Dark thoughts consumed him as he passed like a wraith through the forest. Merciless hooves crushed the falling leaves beneath his weight. He was restless, useless, hopeless. What was he doing with his life, and why did he continue to hide away.. His own inaction shamed him, but what else was he to do? It was best this way. Best not to know someone, not to get attached and have them die and crush his spirit some more. He was no longer worthy of a better existence. This was his life now, his punishment for failing them.
His deep auburn coat flared with gold each time he passed through the determined rays of sunlight piercing the canopy above. He wished it was more solid, to cut through those damned birds screeching so cheerily and causing his ears to twitch. Light amber eyes contrasted with a dark face and lit with a fire he had yet to vanquish, a burning anger. The slightest disturbance seemed to set him off as of late, his temper short.
His little apparition had long vanished, he realized belatedly. So lost in his thoughts he hadn't even noticed. Look at him, he couldn't even keep up with his own kid, though imagined as she was. He growled low at himself, a deep stirring within him ached to be set free. Something wild, uncontrollable. Powerful. Like a living, breathing dragon buried deep within his being. This feral part of him taunted and cursed him. It is time to RISE, it burned in his mind. He closed his eyes, and locked away yet another piece of his tattering mind. It wasn't real, and neither was she.
Oomph! A solid form suddenly knocked against his shoulder, hard. Already in such an unstable state of mind, he reacted instantly, lashing out with bared teeth and a groaning roar. He flattened his ears to his skull threateningly, and swifty shifted to face the creature, prepared to parry another hit then return the attack.
His smoldering eyes scalded the fiery red being before him as she hastily apologized. Agh, this was no enemy. He tucked his chin tight to his neck, letting his dark locks curtain his face while he tried to calm the raging beast within him. But it wasn't the beast, HE was. Another low growl escaped him again before he could stop it.
Ainlif looked up again, slightly calmer, a little more in control, eyes hard and penetrating.
"What are you doing here?" he demanded harshly. He flinched at his own tone. With every passing night he seemed to become more cruel, short tempered. He was losing himself.
"These parts can be dangerous," he tried to amend, his voice a little gentler but still edgy. And clearly they were with him around.