im a weight around your neck [any]

[Tioga]

You were automatic, as hollow as the 'o' in God.

I am lost in the present, the past too, frozen momentarily in this reverie. Before me is a memory of what was and it takes several minutes for me to break away- to remember what is. Breath leaves my lungs in a slow and steady stream, a sigh, had I been holding my breath? Though I have made good to give the women in the group the simplest of acknowledgement, I’ve all but forgotten them.

My copper eyes flick to their faces, tracing the lines of their noses, the creases or lack thereof at their eyes. And their eyes, those take a moment to see, to inspect. Though my hearing is gone my other senses have made up for the loss, my eyes in particular, their irises are so crystal clear.

But even as I look at them there is nothing to compare to the sheer shock of the man, he looked so much like her. Maybe it is because I wanted him to, the similarities between them simply taking hold of my consciousness and distracting my mind from truth. Trying to anyway.

I watch them speak, the fold and press of lips and teeth and tongues. Something taken for granted before because I never needed to focus on the mouths of others as a child, but really it said so much. Especially when one took care to watch the truth of the words that found themselves leaving with each syllable. I could spot a lie etched in the face easier than most could utter them. There are no farces here, why should there be? I am accustomed to looking for them anyway. Reagan, Jinju, and Moggett. I save these along with the faces I have painted in my thoughts and it is my turn to speak suddenly and find his face with a sharpness to my movements.

“Tioga, from Pangea. I’m sorry,” I stare too hard and too long as I speak, “you look so much like my Mother. If I didn’t know better I’d be seeing ghosts…” My voice fades, along with the awkward straining of its use to find the sounds of words to which I can not hear.

{TIOGA}

khaos x wichita

html by Kyra