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She collides with him so fast that he almost does not have time to brace himself. He takes a step backward to adjust to her weight and then straightens, his face a blending of confusion, joy, and relief. The instinct to put distance between them rises in his throat, but he quells it for now when he sees the way that she shakes and the way that she reaches for him. Instead he simply reaches down and holds her awkwardly, the motions uncertain and he certain that he was somehow botching his efforts to console her.
“Shh,” he murmurs into the gentle curve of her neck, ignoring the way her scent curls around and into him, the sweetness of it tightening his chest. He has no platitudes to offer her—no words of comfort or lies to soften the blow. When she peels away, he feels it like a blow to his heart, a punctuated statement of his inability to comfort and he does not move after her. He should’ve known he would be useless at this.
At the sound of her laugh, he cannot help but stiffen, the sound one that would belong more coming from his throat than her own. He cringes slightly. What a stupid question to have ask her. Of course, she wasn’t okay—of course she was grieving. She had something to lose, unlike him. She had people who loved her. People she loved. Of course she wasn’t okay. Internally, he berates himself, but he only straightens, his pale eyes looking away with forced disinterest before glancing back. “I am sure that your family will find you and that they will have found a new home,” he lies because that is what seems right.
Plus, he is sure that they will find her. Family always did. At least that is what he had heard.
When she sneaks near him again, he aches with an unfamiliar want, the distance between them so acutely painful that he almost closes it himself. “I will always come looking for you,” he blurts out before he can help himself, and then, confused, drops his gaze. “I mean,” he pauses, shakes his head, “I don’t know what I mean.” He reaches out hesitantly to brush his lips against her jaw, a shiver running up his spine.
“I am glad that you are here too.”
tobiah