10-22-2016, 10:19 PM
She hadn't expected his answer to be honest. Her type of selfishness was associated with greed. Just as the equine of Beqanna had done to cause the reckoning. But Ruan speaks of his family, how he loves them, how he wants to keep them close, he wants their company. Something Heda couldn't relate to. Something that she had never felt, love.
Abandoned at birth, Heda never had it easy. Even as a newborn she knew why she was abandoned, why her mother didn't want her. Her mother was selfish. Her mother didn't want to share her ability, to share the emotions, to manipulate others through emotions. So her mother abandoned her to the arms of death. But fortunately that same place she was abandoned, was the adoption den. There a fairy tended to her, as she did to all of the misfortunate children. But that wasn't love, that was just the fairy's duty.
Perhaps she was looking for a sense of greed? Or perhaps a characteristic much worse? But how could she explain to them? She would sound ignorant preaching about the fairies. Although her past comrades managed to accommodate their words, explaining fully on their cause. But without them the girl had nothing to respond with except for this, "Yes, that is selfish..." She trails off momentarily. "Maybe selfish, isn't the word I'm looking for."
She finds Jinju to speak up, asking Ruan what selfish means. Heda doesn't feel the need to answer, for she didn't truly know herself. Then Jinju spoke of her past, connecting the dots of their comparisons as she went. Jinju had a mother, something Heda couldn't relate to, she wasn't too lucky in that department. But then she speaks of her loss how she lost her adoptive mother when the world turned upside down, and how she found Ruan and her aunt. Another item on the list that Heda couldn't relate to.
Shifting navy blue wings, the girl hesitantly added, "I.... I don't know what I'm looking for." She felt like she made a fool out of herself. Asking if Tephra's residents were selfish, honestly what was she thinking? With lost eyes she searches their faces,"I thought I did but, now I just don't know."
Now she's made a fool of herself. Her heart flutters in shear embarrassment, as her eyes begin to well with tears. She thought she was grown up, walking into this conversation, walking into the field. But her own childish heart was filled with an immediate sense of being lost, of always being lost. She couldn't hold anything together no matter how hard she tried, thats why her mother abandoned her, thats why no one wanted her. Her life is just a long huge series of unfortunate events.
Abandoned at birth, Heda never had it easy. Even as a newborn she knew why she was abandoned, why her mother didn't want her. Her mother was selfish. Her mother didn't want to share her ability, to share the emotions, to manipulate others through emotions. So her mother abandoned her to the arms of death. But fortunately that same place she was abandoned, was the adoption den. There a fairy tended to her, as she did to all of the misfortunate children. But that wasn't love, that was just the fairy's duty.
Perhaps she was looking for a sense of greed? Or perhaps a characteristic much worse? But how could she explain to them? She would sound ignorant preaching about the fairies. Although her past comrades managed to accommodate their words, explaining fully on their cause. But without them the girl had nothing to respond with except for this, "Yes, that is selfish..." She trails off momentarily. "Maybe selfish, isn't the word I'm looking for."
She finds Jinju to speak up, asking Ruan what selfish means. Heda doesn't feel the need to answer, for she didn't truly know herself. Then Jinju spoke of her past, connecting the dots of their comparisons as she went. Jinju had a mother, something Heda couldn't relate to, she wasn't too lucky in that department. But then she speaks of her loss how she lost her adoptive mother when the world turned upside down, and how she found Ruan and her aunt. Another item on the list that Heda couldn't relate to.
Shifting navy blue wings, the girl hesitantly added, "I.... I don't know what I'm looking for." She felt like she made a fool out of herself. Asking if Tephra's residents were selfish, honestly what was she thinking? With lost eyes she searches their faces,"I thought I did but, now I just don't know."
Now she's made a fool of herself. Her heart flutters in shear embarrassment, as her eyes begin to well with tears. She thought she was grown up, walking into this conversation, walking into the field. But her own childish heart was filled with an immediate sense of being lost, of always being lost. She couldn't hold anything together no matter how hard she tried, thats why her mother abandoned her, thats why no one wanted her. Her life is just a long huge series of unfortunate events.
HEDA
Go right ahead, laugh at the girl who loved too easily
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OCC: Agghhhhh, the feels. She's just so emotional it's so cute <3
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Ex-Queen of Loess