06-06-2015, 11:35 PM
so you wanna play with magic?
The fairy-dust sunlight settles itself over Camrynn's coat and mane, sinking in to create gentle sparkles. Nothing obnoxious, nothing too overt, just a gentle hint of glitter, a subtle shine. "I didn't mean to hide it from them." her voice is quiet, almost reflective. "I meant if you ever grew tired of seeing it. I know I might."
She listens as Pevensie continues to speak, very accurately describing the nature of the Amazons. Theirs is quite the binary world: you either are one, or you are not. You either have an alliance, or you do not. There is no grey area, no room for in-between. Not like in the Deserts, where there are many who live on the fringes, keeping to themselves and receiving exactly no pressure from Camrynn, Pevensie, or any other member of the Deserts to do anything other than that.
She isn't surprised when her once-mother turns to her and asks the question that's perhaps been floating around between them ever since the whole situation with the Amazons had first come to light. She's rather glad to have it out there, actually.
"It was the other way around." she says, her voice plain. "I followed you here, and then joined them too." And that was true – she'd been all set to follow Pevensie home, to live a quiet, happy life in the Deserts. "I sometimes wonder what would've happened if Scorch hadn't come that day, if it'd been just you and me here in the Deserts." she knows at least some shades of outcomes in that timeline. She doesn't say it to Pevensie, but she knows that in that world, she would likely never have competed for the crown. It would have been Pevensie alone, with her sweet daughter Cammie by her side, or perhaps Pevensie with Lucrezia, or Pevensie with other horses who have long been elsewhere in this timeline.
"I did both because I wanted to experience both." she answers truthfully. "I am a seeker of knowledge, Pevensie. I seek it always, in most everything I do." Her voice is quiet now, hushed with the importance of what she's saying. She's never been so truthful about anything, to anyone, save perhaps with Eight. She doesn't bare her soul. "I had to know what it was like. And then I knew, and was glad I did because I was almost immediately sent here to compete to rule the Deserts. Sent by the jungle." she pauses, letting that sink in. It's nothing that is new to Pevensie – it's nothing that is new to anyone, by now – but in this context it carries a different kind of meaning. "If it hadn't been me, it would've been someone else, and that could've ended very differently." she is matter-of-fact now. They both know that the Amazons have a way of getting their way. Perhaps an Amazon loyal only to the jungle could never have made it through. Perhaps, like Shahrizai, they'd have been ejected in the first round. Or perhaps not. Even for Camrynn, that kind of thing is impossible to know.
"I don't regret how things have turned out." she says, walking up to stand beside Pevensie and look out across the horizon. The sunlight that her pony-mother blew at her earlier glimmers like fairy dust in the dying light as she turns to look at the little buckskin. "But if I had the choice, I'd have rather just stayed with you and let the Zons do whatever the Zons might do." Her voice is earnest, her eyes as gold as the setting sun. She means it too, or at least, she means it in the best way she can. She wouldn't trade what she has now for anything. She doesn't regret the time she's spent with Scorch, complicated though it makes her current life. But in another world, she'd have liked to set it all aside, to grow up as Pevensie's child, to have a second childhood (or first, really, considering her lack of a proper mother growing up) for as long as she wanted it.
But much as she could go back and re-write that little bit of history, none of it would be worth giving up what she has now. And she knows it.
She listens as Pevensie continues to speak, very accurately describing the nature of the Amazons. Theirs is quite the binary world: you either are one, or you are not. You either have an alliance, or you do not. There is no grey area, no room for in-between. Not like in the Deserts, where there are many who live on the fringes, keeping to themselves and receiving exactly no pressure from Camrynn, Pevensie, or any other member of the Deserts to do anything other than that.
She isn't surprised when her once-mother turns to her and asks the question that's perhaps been floating around between them ever since the whole situation with the Amazons had first come to light. She's rather glad to have it out there, actually.
"It was the other way around." she says, her voice plain. "I followed you here, and then joined them too." And that was true – she'd been all set to follow Pevensie home, to live a quiet, happy life in the Deserts. "I sometimes wonder what would've happened if Scorch hadn't come that day, if it'd been just you and me here in the Deserts." she knows at least some shades of outcomes in that timeline. She doesn't say it to Pevensie, but she knows that in that world, she would likely never have competed for the crown. It would have been Pevensie alone, with her sweet daughter Cammie by her side, or perhaps Pevensie with Lucrezia, or Pevensie with other horses who have long been elsewhere in this timeline.
"I did both because I wanted to experience both." she answers truthfully. "I am a seeker of knowledge, Pevensie. I seek it always, in most everything I do." Her voice is quiet now, hushed with the importance of what she's saying. She's never been so truthful about anything, to anyone, save perhaps with Eight. She doesn't bare her soul. "I had to know what it was like. And then I knew, and was glad I did because I was almost immediately sent here to compete to rule the Deserts. Sent by the jungle." she pauses, letting that sink in. It's nothing that is new to Pevensie – it's nothing that is new to anyone, by now – but in this context it carries a different kind of meaning. "If it hadn't been me, it would've been someone else, and that could've ended very differently." she is matter-of-fact now. They both know that the Amazons have a way of getting their way. Perhaps an Amazon loyal only to the jungle could never have made it through. Perhaps, like Shahrizai, they'd have been ejected in the first round. Or perhaps not. Even for Camrynn, that kind of thing is impossible to know.
"I don't regret how things have turned out." she says, walking up to stand beside Pevensie and look out across the horizon. The sunlight that her pony-mother blew at her earlier glimmers like fairy dust in the dying light as she turns to look at the little buckskin. "But if I had the choice, I'd have rather just stayed with you and let the Zons do whatever the Zons might do." Her voice is earnest, her eyes as gold as the setting sun. She means it too, or at least, she means it in the best way she can. She wouldn't trade what she has now for anything. She doesn't regret the time she's spent with Scorch, complicated though it makes her current life. But in another world, she'd have liked to set it all aside, to grow up as Pevensie's child, to have a second childhood (or first, really, considering her lack of a proper mother growing up) for as long as she wanted it.
But much as she could go back and re-write that little bit of history, none of it would be worth giving up what she has now. And she knows it.
CAMRYNN
co-queen of the deserts, magical, mother of badassery