I put everything I had into something that didn't grow; dahmer

[leliana]

I know what it is but I'm hoping that all is well
no harvest of green but it's still my heart to sell

His voice is like smoke and ash, heated but not possessive, and she both blossoms beneath it and then grows inward, her hazel eyes turning foggy with confusion and familiarity. For a moment, she is quiet as she considers him, her face serene, her smile flickering in the corners as she thinks on him. His purr thrums through her veins and part of her wants to lean into it, sink into it until the warmth of it lapped over her back, something kind and hot that reminded her of things she could no longer think on. The other part of her shies from it, as if he has burned her, the echo of his heat enough to send shivers up her spine.

Finally, after a moment of silence, she ruffles her crimson wings by her side, the color bleeding away to be replaced with something white and then onyx and finally settled into the cream and russet of barn owls. “Perhaps I would like to get to know you,” she says quietly, her low hum of a voice filling the air between them, although it was devoid of any knowing womanly wiles. Leliana is devoid of them, stripped of any ability to command her feminine charms. She is vulnerable as she stands beneath his icy gaze.

“It is a pleasure to meet you, Dahmer,” she says before turning her head toward the faint crashing of the ocean on the Tephra coast. A subtle enough gesture, but enough time to shield the pain that flashes across her gaze, the reminder of what she thought he was. When her eyes return to him they are still calm, washed of anguish. “I am not. I was surprised to think they may be here, that’s all.” She rolls her dappled shoulders, meeting his gaze steadily. “It is likely for the best that it is you instead,” her voice quiet, a small frown creasing her brow before she wipes it away, replaces it with a faint shimmer of a smile. She could not bear to see Dovev today; she could not bear to smile and pretend with him, pull forth happiness.

When the words register, her eyes widen. “Oh. I’m so sorry. That was terribly rude.” She shakes her head, distress clear in her expression. “I am lucky to have crossed paths with you, I’m sure.” Embarrassed, her wings flutter and she glances at the ground beneath her feet, frowning at her clumsy conversation skills.

I put everything I had into something that didn't grow
like going on a wild hunt, shooting arrows without a bow