02-26-2017, 01:36 PM
Time is a funny thing. The way it twists and turns, the way it seems to pass at different speeds for different people. Or at different points for the same person. I have watched time stand still, have seen it stretch out and fold in on itself again, and I can’t help but wonder whenever I step away from someone what lifetimes they might lead before I see them again. What lifetimes I might lead.
It seems like forever since I met a boy made of fallen starlight on a forbidden adventure in the Meadow. Lifetimes may not have passed for me, but new lives have begun and old ones have ended, the way they do every moment, with every breath.
It all feels sharper now, stronger somehow, a pulsing thrum in the air, vibrating against my skin, sometimes clenching around my chest, a pressure I can’t explain, something far beyond words but it reminds me of a shining girl made of glowing white light, eyes the same blue as my own the only break in her brilliance. It reminds me of her silent screaming, and the endless weight of goodbye.
When time wraps around my chest and squeezes so tightly, it’s hard to catch a breath, hard to remember myself as I’ve always been, wide eyes and bright smiles and boundless enthusiasm. That girl feels like a distant memory on days when time reminds me of the choice I made to let the one made of light die.
Another year is drawing to a close, and I can feel her screaming again, the way it echoes in the air without making a sound. So loudly it buzzes along my skin, I don’t quite hear his voice the first time he calls. He calls again, and I turn to catch the sound. “...Astrophel?”
Of course I remember him, the brightness of his coat, the faraway dreamy look in those soft blue eyes not unlike my own. Except his eyes seemed to take in everything, every detail, no matter how miniscule. For just a moment, the thought of those too-perceptive eyes staring into me right now sends a nervous tightness through my chest, stirs an anxious flutter in my belly. But I take a deep breath, put a bright, cheery smile on my face, and head toward the sound of his voice. And the nervousness fades when I catch sight of my friend, tension melting away and making the smile genuine. “Astrophel, it’s so good to see you!”
It seems like forever since I met a boy made of fallen starlight on a forbidden adventure in the Meadow. Lifetimes may not have passed for me, but new lives have begun and old ones have ended, the way they do every moment, with every breath.
It all feels sharper now, stronger somehow, a pulsing thrum in the air, vibrating against my skin, sometimes clenching around my chest, a pressure I can’t explain, something far beyond words but it reminds me of a shining girl made of glowing white light, eyes the same blue as my own the only break in her brilliance. It reminds me of her silent screaming, and the endless weight of goodbye.
When time wraps around my chest and squeezes so tightly, it’s hard to catch a breath, hard to remember myself as I’ve always been, wide eyes and bright smiles and boundless enthusiasm. That girl feels like a distant memory on days when time reminds me of the choice I made to let the one made of light die.
Another year is drawing to a close, and I can feel her screaming again, the way it echoes in the air without making a sound. So loudly it buzzes along my skin, I don’t quite hear his voice the first time he calls. He calls again, and I turn to catch the sound. “...Astrophel?”
Of course I remember him, the brightness of his coat, the faraway dreamy look in those soft blue eyes not unlike my own. Except his eyes seemed to take in everything, every detail, no matter how miniscule. For just a moment, the thought of those too-perceptive eyes staring into me right now sends a nervous tightness through my chest, stirs an anxious flutter in my belly. But I take a deep breath, put a bright, cheery smile on my face, and head toward the sound of his voice. And the nervousness fades when I catch sight of my friend, tension melting away and making the smile genuine. “Astrophel, it’s so good to see you!”
pic by Qinni